by Dave Thomas

Kick-Ass
Think of April’s line-up as the opening acts for the summer blockbusters.
APRIL 2
Wide
CLASH OF THE TITANS
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Wow, Harry Hamlin really pulled it together and…oh, no, wait, this is a new guy.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. I’m surprised because for every The Thing, there’s twenty any remake you can think of off the top of your head that sucks. That having been said, Louis Leterrier is a solid action director. He won’t make you think, but he will keep you entertained. Good cast, too: Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Flemyng, Mads Mikkelsen, Nicholas Hoult, Pete Postlethwaite, and Danny Huston.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Originally this was supposed to come out March 26th, but then they decided to make it 3D which, apparently, takes a week to add. So now it has to vie for space on 3D screens with the second frame of How to Train Your Dragon. This, however, is a rich person’s problem. $157mil.
THE LAST SONG
(3/31)

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Man, that Notebook guy sure wrote a lot of books.
WILL IT SUCK?
This is the first time that Nicholas Sparks has had a hand in the screenplay adaptation of one of his novels. No idea what impact that will have. Director has done some good TV (Pushing Daisies, Grey’s Anatomy, Weeds). Greg Kinnear is, you know, Greg Kinnear. Yeah, I’m not that psyched.
However, this is called Not Without My Daughter 2 in the Philippines, so it has that going for it.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Combining the Miley Cyrus crowd with the Sparks crowd with an inexplicable two-day head start should be successful counterprogramming to a bunch of CG scorpions. $70mil.
TYLER PERRY’S WHY DID I GET MARRIED TOO?
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Finally someone brings back the use of the word “too” in a sequel title.
WILL IT SUCK?
You know by now whether or not you like the Tyler Perry.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The audiences have already decided that they like the Tyler Perry. $58mil.
Limited
THE GREATEST
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Boy meets girl (Carey Mulligan). Boy dies in car crash. Boy’s family tries to cope with the fact that the girl is now preggers.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good but not great. Susan Sarandon and Pierce Brosnan play the parents.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Mulligan is a hot indie property, and with Leaves of Grass suddenly pushed from this weekend to the summer, the field is suddenly wide open. $8mil.
THE WARLORDS
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Here’s a history lesson. Jet Li, Andy Lau, and Takeshi Kaneshiro were there for the Tapei Rebellion of the 1860s.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, but the reuniting of Lau and Kaneshiro for the first time since House of Flying Daggers is enough to get me interested even before you throw Li into the mix. Not for nothing, but the flick won Best Actor (Jet Li) Best Director, Best Film and five other awards (nominated for a total of 13) at the Hong Kong Film Awards.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?

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Zip112 owner Young Yang is shutting down his underground hostel over his landlord’s fears that the city inspectors will be back. He initially survived the raids last week by proving a fire escape did exist — in the form of a ladder hung off the 5th floor wooden deck. Still, the encounter’s left everyone jittery and freaked out, as Yang called it ‚”the scariest moment I ever had.”