Can somebody please make some sense of this list that supposedly reveals the kinkiest and loneliest places in the U.S., based on dating site profiles, because I certainly cannot. For starters, Greenpoint and Williamsburg–yes, the nabe with a plethora of hormonally-charged watering holes–has the most virgin men in the country. Really? The only explanation here somebody offered was the Hasidic anomaly, but then why wouldn’t some Amish district, or a small, off-the-grid county in conservative Utah, perhaps rank higher? Color me presumptuous but I imagine their coital rates are comparable. Here’s a sampling:

Most virgin women: Louisiana 2nd (New Orleans)

Most virgin men: New York 12th (Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Park Slope in Brooklyn; Maspeth, Ridgewood, in Queens; Lower East Side in Manhattan)

Least virgin women: Texas 29th (Houston)

Least virgin men: Louisiana 2nd (New Orleans)

Also: New Orleans has the most virgin women, yet also claims the least virgin men?! Per another, perhaps those men are all sleeping with the small group of promiscuous women. Or each other. I’m so confused. Please, Internet, help me. Comment below or tweet your explanatory rage to me. One thing to note: this is all based on word cloud analysis on dating sites…so perhaps everyone in Williamsburg mentions their desire for virgins. In which case, God bless you in your honesty.

(I’d click through to the artist’s site for some clarity, but it’s on Columbia.edu’s servers and they are slow/down at the moment.)

While Explosions In The Sky play Radio City Wednesday night, Williamsburg’s own I’ll Be John Brown will be a part of Spike Hill’s Brooklyn Country showdown — Live! Loud! Local! Free!

Spike Hill gets a countrified overdrive! 8pm Paul Thornton Band, 9pm Party Folk, 10pm I’ll Be John Brown, 11pm The Evangelines.

Here’s “Mine,” a track by IBJB that slips an aural peak at the kickass country in store. It’s off their self-titled album:

For the true vinyl lover, And Vinyly will immortalize your ashes in vinyl for about 5G. Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather rest eternally inside the spooky analogue drag of a cassette tape than crackling and popping on vinyl. Just saying. [Via]

c/o Grub Street

One thing we love about New York City is the ability to have your booze delivered right to your door, which is why we were excited to read this morning in Grub Street about the opening of Vine Wine in the old Brooklyn Kitchen space. The new boutique has a communal tasting table and offers bike delivery of wines which primarily priced under $15. Vine Wine specializes in mall production, natural, organic and biodynamic wines and will also be offering wine classes in the next few weeks. Vine Wine, 616 Lorimer St., nr. Skillman Ave., Williamsburg; 718-349-1718

It’s one thing when former child actors break out into the hip hop or pop music scene (looking at you, Drake). It’s another when someone who is on top of the comedy game and appearing on one of the most successful sit coms on TV right now is putting out seriously cool music. Donald Glover (AKA Childish Gambino AKA Troy Barnes from Community) is that dude. In addition to appearing on the prestigious NBC Thursday night lineup, embarking on his own IAMDONALD stand-up tour, and appearing on all kinds of late night talk shows, he is releasing clever and hip rap songs.

The most recent release, following his Freaks and Geeks EP (I guess calling out the television notoriety?) is called “Break (All of the Lights)”. He raps about Tumblrs and being re-tweeted and also has the line “I’m heading West like I’m blowing Kanye.” Awesome.
Break (AOTL) by Childish Gambino

(Via CoS)

I’m pretty sure it means something that the two huge-ass shows that took place this weekend were indie bands playing at Madison Square Goddamn Garden. So who do you think had the more “we’re rock stars and y’all know it” show?

The Strokes featuring Elvis Costello?

Or LCD Soundsystem?

The answer to this is probably clear, but looking at these two side by side really shows how far “indie” music has come in the past 10-ish years, right?

Tonight at 7pm, Inuk singer Elisapie Isaacta will be taking the stage for the first night of her three night residency at the Lower East Side’s coziest venue, The Living Room.

Her sound bubbles with a sort of blissful buoyancy, interrupted by slight touches of the eerie solitude of her childhood home.

Elisapie’s first solo project, There Will Be Stars, follows the singer’s progression in communication — from on-air personalities in radio and TV to an award-winning Taima, the world-renowned duo she formed with composer/guitarist Alain Auger a decade ago.

We’re giving our readers a chance to listen to Elisapie’s perfect balance of lightness and weight with a giveaway of her CD, There Will be Stars.

Just comment below and you’ll be entered to win a copy of this cheerfully melancholy collection of tracks.

Better late than never, right? Besides whatever bands were playing on Friday probably sucked anyway. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Now, without further ado, a completely biased calendar of this week’s concerts.

4/2: JEFF The Brotherhood want to shred all over you (ew) tonight at Death By Audio. Just let ‘em. With Heavy Cream (ew), Hell Beach and others. Tickets are $10 at the door.

4/2: From your busy friends at Pop Gun booking, Gold Panda (who many people seem to like for some reason) with Bikini “and more” at Glasslands tonight. Tickets are $15 and (may be) available at the door.

4/2: If you’re from the Tri-State, like me, you went through a hardcore phase. Go relive that, with half the fun, tonight at Santos when dudes from BTBAM (Thomas Giles) and Cave In (Stephen Brodsky) play. Tickets are only $12 and still avail online.

4/2: Wu Lyf, mysterious but intriguing UK band, make their US debut at Shea Stadium with Total Slacker and Wise Blood. You can RSVP here and then pay $10 at the door.

4/2 & 4/6: Cut Copy sold out Terminal 5 (Worst venue? Thoughts?). But this should help.
(more…)

A kickstarter for citrus cocktail bitters made right here in the ‘burg.

Maybe he’ll personally deliver in the neighborhood in time for summer cocktails?