The Mail
Someone Else is Already Ripping us off (see).....
 Dear
Free Williamsburg,
Just wanted to drop a line to you guys about The Hipster
Handbook. Very nice, indeed. I currently reside in Portsmouth,
NH the hipster capital of the state with more than its fair
share of WASHs. I read the entire book at the laundromat today
and was thoroughly impressed. Finding out you guys reside
in Williamburg seemed to be the punchline for me since half
of my hipster friends live there, are moving there after his/her
band "gets their shit together," or have moved back because
they "couldn't handle how everyone there looks like a member
of The Strokes." Supplied plenty of ammo for making fun of
my fellow hipsters. Yet I suppose buying a hipster handbook
immediately makes me lame. Oh well. Guess I should insert
something here to improve my cred. How about...Can't wait
to rip you guys off in my next zine.
--trixy
Skinny as fuck art fags?
Dear Free Williamsburg,
You fuckin suck, just like yer lame ass williamsburg cooli-o
skinny as fuck art fags always have. Your artists with no
skills, useless to anyone who actually uses their hands and
their talent to make a buck. Your bitchin about the war and
bush, but have never seen what a body looks like after its
been hit with a 50 cal tracer, or a ship that got its forward
anchor handiling room and all of its first division berthing
blown to fuck by that asshole saddam. Ever seen what 45 charred
bodies look like. Fuck no, ya know why, cuz the people in
your hood that had no other oppurtunities went and dealt with
the shit while you sat your ass in college smokin pot and
suckin off mom and dad~ shit theyre probally still payin yer
fuckin rent.
Try goin to the V.A. on 23rd st and 1st ave. Ask em about
this little thing called gulfwar syndrome. Guess what the
people who were in that war, and got that thing got after
all was said and done? Pain muther fucker, and the ones who
grew up in Williamsburgh got the added bonus of being alienated
in their own neighborhood by a bunch of shit talkin weak ass
know-it-alls that dont know the first fuckin thing about war,
but can tell you everything about what its like to get a "deck"
space off of bedford. You fuckin suck
--Hatefully yours...... A Vet
Jeff Koyen and The NYPress
Dear Free Williamsburg,
I have a copy of The Hipster Handbook and it is fuckin
funny. Anyone who doesn't get that it is making fun of hipsters
(New
York Press) while accurately describing them as well is
retarded. Saw that shit in their rag and had to write. I must
ask though, why aren't The Replacements in your music section?
You guys are right-on otherwise.
--TK in NY
Hipsters aren't surfers
Dear Free Williamsburg,
I heard Lanham speak about his hipster book on NPR. He didn't
know where the latest morphosis of the word 'cool' into "deck"
began. I have an idea where the two terms "fin" and "deck"
might originate. Living very close to the ocean in a surf
swamped area, to me, the two words immediately relate to a
surfboard's anatomy. One might assume that deck would mean
"on the board's top or riding the board, on deck". This location
is required when catching a wave, which is a high adrenaline
and sometimes spiritally elevated place. It is a very "up"
feeling. On the other hand, fin refers to the board'sunderside,
plunging under the water or wave (it's purpose--to stabilize,
the antithisis of hip, I'd imagine). No respectible surfer
wants to be found under the water near the fin. That would
insinuate--a wipeout and potential scraping horror. In another
note, way back in Gidget's days, fins used to be called "skegs",
a rather scruffy, underground association in its own right,
not assimilar to the word "dregs"--as in "dregs of society."
But, I digress. Could you pass this along to Lanham? I think
I gave up my hip card when I gave birth but you never know
what burns in the immortal subconscious of a "once hipster".
--Sincerely, Marie
Why Are You Writing Us?
Dear Free Williamsburg,
I am looking for an etiquette school for my 10 yr old daughter.
I live in Williamsburg and wanted to try and find a school
or class in either Brooklyn or Manhattan. Thank you in advance
for any help you might be able to provide.
--name withheld
Um, No
Dear Free Williamsburg,
Hi! The Hipster Handbook and Freewilliamsburg.com are great.
Is there a chance/ way for me to buy/find the Emerald Beach
Trilogy???
--thanks, björn
Scrabble Babble
Dear Free Williamsburg,
Not only am I deeply offended at your title for the Laurel
Canyon review (Yet More Proof that Only the Very Lame
Play Travel Scrabble) but saddened, as well. So many "kids"
your age don't really respect or appreciate the history
of the Scrabble game. Just when I thought that the hep crowd
might be coming to it's senses with the introduction of
Pete's Scrabble Saturday Night, I see this ball-busting
title mucking up an otherwise sensible review. What is this
really about, Mr. Edwards? If we were to gently scratch
the surface of your good-natured ribbing of Scrabble, would
we find an angry little boy without a mastery of the "Q
without U" words? Would we see small fists banging away
at the table, a tight little mouth contending that "yes!
it's true...if one can follow, then surely one can refollow
?!?" It's a shame, really. I can only hope that one day
you'll see the err of your ways and join the legions of
scrabble-lovers worldwide. Until then, funnyman, keep clucking
away at your own expense.
--Regards, T.P. DeVille
Deckville
Dear Free Williamsburg,
Really dug your site and the book was amusing, but it almost
looks like people are taking the fashion-music-i-am-so-deck
...stuff seriously. What are people going to do when what
is left of the "deck" five minutes ago stuff gets co-opted
so bad you can't stand to look at it? When are the mainstreamers
going to stop running every remotely 'cool' thing into the
ground? When are the early adopters going to figure out that
it's not in the jargon, you can't buy it and it isn't transfered
by osmosis? You won't be cool if you buy a Puch but you might
be deck. No one gets to move to deckville. I hope someone
gets 'it' so we can get better service at hip restaraunts
again. For now we'll have to settle for coffee with the sobbing
ghost of Allen Ginsberg.
--Sincerely, J
Disclaimer from the Editor:
Opinions addressed in Free Williamsburg are
not necessarily our own, godammit!
 
|