The Unicorns Break Up!
From Pitchfork:
"OK, don't hold us to this, but it looks like those rumors and innuendo about the Unicorns' demise have not been greatly exaggerated. A history lesson, if you will: it all started with reports that the band's December 21 show in Houston, Texas was their last. The early days of 2005 saw the seemingly straightforward message "THE UNICORNS ARE DEAD, (R.I.P.)" posted on the band's official website, with the Latin postmortem sic transit gloria ("thus passes the glory") appended thereon.
And that should've been that. But that is never that with the Unicorns-- the inevitable Chinese whispers started wafting through the zeitgeist, claiming that the breakup was just another Andy Kaufmanesque prank along the lines of that wrestling thing the 'Corns did last year. Mere days later, the web obituary was replaced with a cryptic call from "HALIBUT CORN HORN" to "GET READY TO DANCE," among other nonsense. The band's publicist stayed as vague and tight-lipped as a North Korean apparatchik-- maybe he just wasn't in on the joke.
Then just last week, a post on the band's online guestbook led us to believe that the breakup was for real. Signed "Alden and Diamonds," presumably guitarist Alden Ginger and singer/keyboarder Nicholas Diamonds, the post verified that the band has indeed bought the indie-pop farm. Quoth they: "Thanks for all the support but the Unicorns are Dead... Sorry to say it but you all have to understand that touring and trying to produce a new album has taken its toll on our lives and the band. We want to enjoy making music but this process has made it impossible to do so. We are glad you guys love the music but we have a life too and being a Unicorn makes a 'normal' life impossible."
Plebes like us can only wonder at lives of such richness and depth that mere music-making cannot be allowed to disrupt them, but that's what they said. The message continues: "On the bright side there will be some new material forthcoming. Take it sleazy, th' corns." The rest of the site was, of course, absolutely no help, offering only a risible maze-game in which we are exhorted to rescue the boys from some sort of ransom kidnap situation. Every bit as tangled, maddening, and pointless as the band's long breakup tease, the maze makes a surprisingly suitable postmortem.
But it's been said that if you wait long enough, a light will shine through. And lo, a recent missive from the band's PR confirms that the band has in fact broken up and that two of its former members will continue on as Th' Corn Gangg-- the hip-hop side-project the Unicorns announced last year. What this means for lovers of the band's debut LP/swan song Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone? is still up for interpretation, but for once the Gangg seems to be shooting straight-- the message says the band will soon be making mp3s available to the public ("w/ some very special guests"), touring the U.S. in April, playing SXSW, and presumably making a record sometime here. And we're not sure we believe it, but we do have one live date. L.A., they love you:
03-12 Los Angeles, CA - The Echo
Comments
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Posted by: Betting | November 16, 2005 05:29 AM
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Posted by: proper | October 15, 2005 03:14 PM
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Posted by: Cefixime | October 6, 2005 07:28 PM
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Posted by: Terbinafine | October 3, 2005 05:42 PM
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Posted by: Aciphex | October 3, 2005 03:59 PM
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Posted by: Pantoprazole | October 1, 2005 10:55 AM
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Posted by: Cozaar | September 30, 2005 11:31 AM
Hey guys you can keep up to date with all the crazy unicorns side projects and old unicorns stuff too
just go here http://www.secretunicornsforum.com/index1280.php
Lachlan
Posted by: Fuckeroo | September 18, 2005 04:02 AM
arg, arg, arg, this reall, really really sucks!!!!!! they were like my favorite band and they were soi awesome, i think if they jut held on they'd be alright now. all my friends just strted getting into them! they're getting popular, maybe they'll come back...*sigh* DOUBT IT. god, of coarse if ur a unicorn u cant be frickin normal, you'r better than normal, ur AWESOME
Posted by: Catie | September 12, 2005 11:05 PM
the unicorns are rad. this sucks.
Posted by: song | September 7, 2005 11:55 AM
ugh im so upset by this!!
i just found the unicorns and am utterly in love
so sad that they didnt stick it out
but i know very well the bullshit that comes with bands
still very sad though.
i could see them doing great grea things.
:-(
though i am confused
they very resently came out with a video for
"i was born a unicorn"
whats up with that?
someone please explain
Posted by: Brittany | September 5, 2005 03:18 PM
MAN THIS IS THE MOST LAMEST CRAP I HAVE EVER HEARD. THE UNICORNS WERE SO INCREDIBLY GREAT, THEY WERE LIKE NO OTHER. AND IF YOU DONT LIKE THEM OR EVEN THINK YOU DONT LIKE THEM YOU SUCK!!
Posted by: fran <3 unicorns | August 25, 2005 12:03 AM
Thanks for keeping your well done site ads-free. Good luck.
Posted by: Volter | August 19, 2005 01:48 PM
THE UNICORNS RULED..."not that good",my ass. i saw them live with The Arcade Fire and they fucking rocked out!funnest show i have ever been to. R.I.P unicorns..i hear they are looking for a lable and have a full cd worth music done under band the islands..HOPE IT'S TRUE!
Posted by: Michael | August 14, 2005 09:15 AM
Sophisticated texsts with a touch of postmodernistic deconstruction. A must for every intellectual mind. Perfect.
Posted by: Joe | August 10, 2005 01:06 PM
Bon jorno. Tutto bene gracia oblico morale belissima signora tutti frutti.Bene! Thank you for your site.
Posted by: Sabrina | August 5, 2005 07:13 AM
Tasteful colors layout and readable text. Good.
Posted by: Spankofist | August 4, 2005 12:38 PM
THIS IS NOT FUNNY!
THE UNICORNS ARE MY FAVORITE!
HOW WILL I EVER SEE THEM ON TOUR OR MEET THEM AFTER THE SHOW AND WOO ALDEN IF THEY NEVER COME TO MY TOWN!
IAMSERIOUSLYANDDEEPLYUPSETBYTHIS@
Posted by: Death | July 4, 2005 04:28 AM
the unicorns have now formed "islands" which is not the hip-hop side project
they have 2 songs up for download at this website: http://simplemission.typepad.com/home/2005/06/i_know_youve_be.html
Posted by: john | June 30, 2005 06:25 PM
Great for weekend reading. Bookmarked.
Posted by: Pee | June 20, 2005 07:49 AM
ahhh...alas, i will celebrate the legacy of the corns and go smoke dope....
Posted by: still in mourning | June 15, 2005 04:53 PM
Great site I must admit. Thank you.
Posted by: Peesser | June 12, 2005 08:00 AM
Well done. I like sarcastic humor an irony in these comments.
Posted by: Hydrovico | June 3, 2005 06:23 AM
uughhh that stings real bad. i truly loved them because their music is so fun and silly. it makes me happy.
*sigh*
Posted by: gina | April 30, 2005 02:45 PM
Don't know what you guys are talking about. The Unicorns were great! Thier Debut release may not have "made it" on the Indie charts, but they sure had a cult following. Their Labeled CD was New Folk Indie with a bit of pop spun with Dylanesque political montra. If you don't dig it at first, spin it again. If you don't get it the second time 'round, then you weren't listening in the first place.
Too bad about the hip-hop spin off. No Unicorn Fan will go for THAT. Seems to me too many acts are jumping on the "hip-hop" train, a train I hope derails soon. The Unicorns were grass roots goodness with terrific lyrics and a great retro sound with a new day twist. Hope they self release some demo/unrleased cuts like they have been hinting to.
R.I.P Unicorns.
Posted by: Brandon B. | April 4, 2005 10:40 PM
the unicorns are good.
thats not to good that they broke up though.
because they were good.
at least they ended on a good note.
Posted by: Alexander. | March 12, 2005 04:07 PM
The Unicorns are.. over? They just began. They were pretty good. I own the Who Will Cut Our Hair... CD. But.. that's lame. They're not that great, really.
Posted by: Jamie | February 21, 2005 04:35 PM
oh, this was a band. ???? who knew?
Posted by: whatever | February 16, 2005 06:56 PM
awesome.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 15, 2005 10:07 AM
This will be a day long rememberd, it has seen the end of Kenobi and it seen the end of The Unicorns.
Posted by: -Alex- | February 14, 2005 04:35 PM