by Dave Thomas

Lucky Number Slevin

I don’t know which is more disturbing; that there is a fourth Scary Movie, or that it’s likely to be the month’s highest grosser. Since April begins on Saturday, this month's new releases officially begin next Friday, but hey, this is a movie preview. If you're itching to see a new release this week, you can check out the new Lynchian high school noir, Brick.

April 7

THE BENCHWARMERS

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Three grown men (David Spade, Rob Schneider, and Jon Heder, so I use the term loosely) take on a bunch of little league teams all by their lonesome.

WILL IT SUCK?
Well, you've got the director of Saving Silverman and the writers behind Grandma's Boy up in here. Granted, that same director did Happy Gilmore, but did I mention Beverly Hills Ninja, National Security, and Problem Child? This is not a film festival you want to attend.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Fans of stupid comedy will have much more to rejoice about the following week, when Scary Movie 4 takes the stage. In the meantime, this will sate them, though I doubt Spade and Schneider combined will equal Heder's draw. $49mil.

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PHAT GIRLZ

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
They are girlz. They are phat. And overweight.

WILL IT SUCK?
I have no idea. But what's curious is the writer/director is newcomer Nnegest Likké, who is young, black, female, and not the slightest bit overweight. For shame. Seriously, though, how many young, black, female directors can you name? (Actually, even if I remove only one of those adjectives, I bet you're still confined to one hand).

Also, if you like Mo'Nique, she's one of the girlz in question, and Raven Goodwin, whom you might remember as the really cool kid from Station Agent (or, far more likely, from Everybody Hates Chris) makes an appearance. Plus: Eric Roberts alert!

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A little bit of demographic competition from Take the Lead, but it should have a core following of, well, phat girlz, or really anyone fed up with body image fascism. Not that any of that helped Real Women Have Curves make bank. $14mil.

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TAKE THE LEAD

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Mad Hot Banderas

WILL IT SUCK?
Newcomer writer and director, though the director has done plenty of music videos which, in this case, is appropriate. The trailer, I have to admit, looks a lot better than it should.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This probably has about as much star power as anything else opening wide this week. Still, I see it as an uphill battle. $26mil.

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LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
I Can't Believe It's Not A Guy Ritchie Movie!

WILL IT SUCK?
Given that Guy Ritchie movies suck now, we should be thankful something has come along to take their place. Early buzz is very good, placing this above director Paul McGuigan's calling card Gangster No. 1. The writer did a bunch of Karen Sisco episodes which, apparently, was the bomb.

The cast looks promising, with Ben Kingsley, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu, and Stanley Tucci, but lead Josh Hartnett still has to prove himself to me (though Sin City wasn't a bad start).

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There's not very much like it out there, but this isn't the sort of movie that usually makes very much money regardless. $32mil.

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FRIENDS WITH MONEY

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
One of four female friends suddenly makes less money than her cohorts.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good-but-not-great, with critics a little more impressed than audiences. In the ranking of writer/director Nicole Holofcenter's oeuvre, this is coming in at third out of three. I liked Lovely & Amazing, but it wasn't the sort of film that left me thirsty for more. Still, those four friends are Joan Cusack, Jennifer Aniston, Frances McDormand, and Catherine Keener.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Should have a strong opening with little competition and a strong pre-release buzz dating back to Sundance, but next week two fairly high-profile indies will bloody up the waters. $15mil.

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ON A CLEAR DAY

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Old British guy swims the English Channel.

WILL IT SUCK?
Think Waking Ned Devine or The Full Monty. If you liked those, you'll probably like this, according to early buzz - and the trailer seems precisely the same.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Think more Waking Ned Devine than Full Monty. $1mil.

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WHEN DO WE EAT?

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
For those of you wondering when someone would finally make a movie in which somebody slips their father a hit of ecstasy at a Passover Seder, your long wait is over.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is fairly good in spite of a cheesy trailer (this is an inexpensive acid trip), but you gotta love the premise. I'd like to think that between this and the imminent Keeping Up with the Steins (about competitive Bar Mitzvah's) that we're seeing the dawn of a new genre, the Jewish holiday comedy. Stay tuned for Herschel's Wacky Purim in July.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Although the concept is novel, I don't know that it's being put in front of enough eyeballs to reach a critical mass. $1mil.

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April 14
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SCARY MOVIE 4

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
On tonight's episode of Mad TV, I mean, in this installment, they make fun of more movies.

WILL IT SUCK?
At some point, someone will do a post-mortem on the ZAZ team that brought us such classics as Airplane and Top Secret! and figure out what happened. Of the two members present for this sequel, David Zucker and Jim Abrams, neither has done anything of note since Naked Gun 21⁄2, and that's pushing the definition of "of note." Still, if you liked Scary Movie 3...oh, what's the point?

Full disclosure: I caught the last half of Jane Austen's Mafia! the other night - laughed my ass off.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I don't think anything with quite this much appeal will be out for a while. $90mil.

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THE WILD

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Madagascar

WILL IT SUCK?
I'm not kidding. It's really just Madagascar from Disney instead of Dreamworks. The plots are more similar than Deep Impact and Armageddon. And like those two, one clearly has lower-tier stars. This one. Kiefer Sutherland takes the lead along with Eddie Izzard as some kind of animal, I'm going to guess a squirrel. And I've given up on the presence of great actors like Izzard saving these films. Freakin' Ricky Gervais was in Valiant.

But really, these things come down to writing. The four writers on this project include scribes from The Santa Clause 2 and Snow Dogs. But hey, the director's nickname is Spaz. You gotta give 'em that.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I don't see this having quite the impact of its predecessor, which may be why Disney is releasing this in the spring, with nary a kid's film in sight, instead of the summer. $51mil.

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HARD CANDY

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
A sort of revenge tale involving a potential pedophile and his teen prey.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is very good, which is nice given how easily this could slip into exploitation.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It has two higher-profile indies to deal with, and its subject matter might be a bit much, even for indie audiences. Then again, Lionsgate has grown to become a marketing force. $5mil.

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THE NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The story of pin-up girl Bettie Page.

WILL IT SUCK?
Critics are very split on this one. All I know is, the last time director Mary Harron got together with writer Guinevere Turner, we got American Psycho, and that's all right with me. Plus, you get supporting performances from Lili Taylor and David Strathairn. Gretchen Mol has the lead, which inspires me for less than artistic reasons.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Probably the biggest fish in the pond this weekend. Has a better lead-in than Kinky Boots, which is really only now starting to advertise. $8mil.

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KINKY BOOTS

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
How can we save the shoe factory? Make boots for transvestites. Duh.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is positive but not overwhelmingly so. It is, however, a chance to see Chiwetel Ejiofor in what looks to be a career-making performance as the transvestite who inspires our hero to retool the factory. One of the Calendar Girls writers is on board here, too.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The heat for Ejiofor off of Inside Man might be really well-timed. $4mil.

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SOMERSAULT

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Woman falls for some guy. Complications ensue.

WILL IT SUCK?
Won a crapload of Australian awards, including a near-sweep of the Australian Film Institute Awards. Early critical buzz is strong.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Too many bigger fish from bigger studios this week. $500,000.

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LA MUJER DE MI HERMANO

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
If you know Spanish, it's about as clear as Snakes on a Plane, but the upside is a chick falls for her husband's brother.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mild, and the whole thing looks like the most generic of tales, just told in Spanish. Turn on Unavisión if you don't feel like leaving the house.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I can see Lionsgate trying to snowball this into the next El Crimen de Padre Amaro. $2mil.

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PREACHING TO THE CHOIR

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
One brother's a hip-hop artist, the other's a preacher! Wackyness ensues?

WILL IT SUCK?
Pretty much newcomers all around, though one writer did Club Dread. The guy who plays Mr. Eko on Lost is in it. Yeah, that's still not enough for me.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Probably about the same audience as The Second Chance, which came out in February and you've probably forgotten already. $500,000.

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MOUNTAIN PATROL: KEKEXILI

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Villagers vs. poachers in Tibet.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is pretty outstanding, and numerous international accolades sweeten the pot.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Unfortunately, international kudos rarely translate into American dollars. $250,000.

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MY FIRST WEDDING

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Rachel Leigh Cook stars as a woman who mistakenly confesses a fantasy to some guy who then poses as a preacher and I think there's a wedding in there somewhere.

WILL IT SUCK?
Hard to say. Early buzz isn't great, and everyone involved has pretty much made movies very few people have heard of before.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Having Rachel Leigh Cook in your film really isn't enough to launch it, which is sad considering I'm pretty sure I couldn't get Rachel Leight Cook to be in one of my films. $100,000.

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THE SISTERS

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
More or less based on Chekov's Three Sisters, with Maria Bello, Mary Stuart Masterson, and Erika Christensen in the lead roles.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz, what little there is, is fairly good. Chekov, surprisingly, often translates well onto film.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The much more high profile female ensemble Friends with Money will be in its second, expanded frame at this point, not to mention the four billion other indies out this weekend. $1mil.

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April 21
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SILENT HILL

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Based on the popular video game, Radha Mitchell loses her daughter and has to search through Spookytown to get her back.

WILL IT SUCK?
You've got Christophe Gans, who brought the mad atmosphere to Brotherhood of the Wolf, at the helm. Roger Avary, who helped pen a little film called Pulp Fiction, has a co-writing credit. Could be the first non-sucky video game adaptation.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
No horror competition. No video game competition. $52mil.

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AMERICAN DREAMZ

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Political satire from the brothers Weitz.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is not good if you listen to critics and pretty good if you listen to audiences. Paul Weitz has taken the leads from his previous efforts (Hugh Grant from About a Boy and Dennis Quaid from In Good Company) and made them co-leads here. He's also assembled an outstanding supporting cast including Mandy Moore, Willem Dafoe, Judy Greer, Shohreh Aghdashloo, John Cho, and Jennifer Coolidge. With all this talent, I was hoping for a more unanimous endorsement.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Will audiences abandon this for the broader comedy of R.V. the following week? Are they all that receptive to satire in the first place, even when accompanied with good buzz? $46mil.

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STICK IT

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
You'd think with that title that this would be the political satire. But, no. This is about gymnastics. Get it?

WILL IT SUCK?
The only ray of hope here is that the writer/director brought us the screenplay for Bring It On, a film about ten times better than it should have been. Unfortunately, in the time since then, she's contributed to the screenplays of The Truth About Charlie, First Daughter, and Aquamarine, so her credibility's damn near shot. Here's hoping this pulls it out of the mud.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A little competition from Silent Hill for the young 'uns. And I don't know that Jeff Bridges is going to be a selling point for the tweeners. $19mil.

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THE SENTINEL

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Michael Douglas has only 24 hours (okay, he might have more) to stop a Presidential assissination plot while Kiefer Sutherland goes all Tommy Lee Jones on his ass.

WILL IT SUCK?
There is potential for greatness here. Well, goodness at least. Director Clark Johnson hit a triple last time out with the better-than-expected S.W.A.T. and screenwriter George Nolfi is capable of either Timeline or Ocean's 12 levels of delivery. (I should probably clarify that I, unlike many, actually liked Ocean's 12). But hey, this has David Rasche (Sledge Hammer!, himself) as the President. How can you not like that?

HOW WELL IT DO?
It's unclear how fanciful political fare will do when the all-too-real United 93 hits theaters the following week (also, I shit you not, with David Rasche). For this weekend, though, the main competition is 24. $56mil.

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STANDING STILL

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
One of those wedding-cum-college-reunion type deals that goes all wacky when secrets come out yadda, yadda, yadda.

WILL IT SUCK?
Interesting cast, includin Amy Adams, James Van Der Beek, Ethan Embry, Colin Hanks, Aaron Stanford, Mena Suvari, Xander Berkeley, and Roger Avary. Early buzz is mixed, and little is known about the writers or director.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
If they can leverage the cast (especially the Oscar-nod-hot Adams) they might get past the boring title. $2mil.

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IN HER LINE OF FIRE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Secret Service agent (Mariel Hemingway) vs. non-descript rebel jungle fighters in South America to save the Vice President (Keith David). Who wouldn't vote for a David Rasche/Keith David ticket? Seriously?

WILL IT SUCK?
The director did Leprechaun 3 and 4, the sequel to The Omega Code, and, the best-title-ever TV flick Atomic Dog. So when I say this is going to be deliciously bad, you know what I mean.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
On DVD? Fantastic. $100,000.

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WASSUP ROCKERS

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
This latest slice of fringe from Kids director Larry Clark focuses on LA Latino skate punks.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, but Clark is at least in familiar territory.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Familiar territory for Clark is also low box office. $500,000.

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April 28
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UNITED 93

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The true story of flight 93 which, on 9/11, crashed when hostages tried to retake the plane.

WILL IT SUCK?
There is no other director I'd trust this particular project with over Paul Greengrass (Bloody Sunday, The Bourne Supremacy). See, he did Bloody Sunday, which was a documentary-real dramatization of the tragic shooting of protesters by British soldiers in Derry, Ireland in 1972. It's gripping stuff, handled dispassionately, yet inspiring great passion. The fact that this is to be a real time account of a real event of tragic brutality suggests a similar treatment might be appropriate.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
To me the question isn't whether or not Greengrass is equal to the task so much as is the audience even remotely ready for such a blunt retelling? It's one thing to approach the topic obliquely (War of the Worlds) or even in a fictionalized, dramatic account of a real story from the day with movie stars like Nicolas Cage (Oliver Stone's upcoming World Trade Center). But to have a no-name cast shot in a cinéma vérité style will basically put the audience on the plane. That's a much less removed experience. Bloody Sunday the movie didn't happen until thirty years after Bloody Sunday the tragedy. It's only been five for this.

On the other hand, of the four planes, I think this is the one audiences are most prepared to revisit.

Ultimately, I think audiences will be more comfortable getting in an R.V. with Robin Williams (and the following week jumping over a couch with Tom Cruise). $40mil.

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AKEELAH AND THE BEE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Spellbound: The Narrative Feature

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. There actually will be a Spellbound narrative feature, but this beat them to the punch. Laurence Fishburne can bring the mentoring to undeveloped minds (Searching for Bobby Fischer, The Matrix), and whenever he appears in a film with Angela Bassett, it's usually a good thing (Boyz N the Hood, What's Love Got to Do with It?).

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Maybe a little competition from Hoot the following week, but the bigger problem is that these kinds of films never do that well. $15mil.

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R.V.

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Are We There Yet, Robin?

WILL IT SUCK?
Has Barry Sonnenfeld directed anything good since Get Shorty? I didn't think so. And the writer brought us Daddy Day Care and The Shaggy Dog. Not good times. It looks so bad that the fact that both Tony Hale and Will Arnett of Arrested Development are in it does nothing for me.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The success of The Pink Panther, not to mention Big Momma's House 2, suggests that audiences don't really care how good the comedy is as long as a big star is attached and people fall down a lot. $63mil.

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WATER

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
A girl is locked away in a temple in Varasani, India for brides whose arranged-marriage-husbands die before the wedding.

WILL IT SUCK?
Let me tell you something about writer/director Deepa Mehta. By most accounts, she hasn't made a bad film, and this is considered to be her best. Not to mention the fact that she had to fight Hindu fundamentalists who tried to burn down her sets in order to make the thing, so one hopes after all that it doesn't up and suck.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I have to say that while I'm impressed that Fox Searchlight is opening this wide, I don't know that that's going to help. $6mil.

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KILLER DILLER

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Halfway house folks are turned into a blues band. Note: Not The Blues Brothers.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, but I do like me some Lucas Black (Friday Night Lights, Jarhead, and, sadly, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift).

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Bigger indie fish on the horizon, and not a huge company backing it. $250,000.

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THE DEATH OF MR. LAZARESCU

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
You know Mr. Lazarescu? Yeah, he dies.

WILL IT SUCK?
This indictment of the Romanian health care system has won numerous international awards, including the Un Certain Regard award at Cannes. Early buzz is outstanding.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Has a better shot at a good opening than Killer Diller, but not by much. $750,000.

Next Month: Let’s get this summer started right. Let’s get this summer started quick-ly. Will Brett Ratner make me cry? And we see what may be the year’s best poster. It involves Al Gore, indirectly.

-- Dave Thomas

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 1: Todd P presents Akron/Family & Plants at a secret space in Williamsburg this Saturday. You can pick up tickets at Eat Records. Show location will be announced to ticket holders only.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

We've really been enjoying the new SubPop release, Band of Horses' Everything All the Time. It's reminiscent of My Morning Jacket, Rogue Wave, and The Shins. Check out the album stream here. [via Brooklyn Vegan]

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Cat Power, who cancelled her tour early this year for alleged "health reasons," has announced new tour dates. Frustratingly, she's yet to announce any info about refunds for all of us dumb enough to buy tickets for her New York performances in Feb. Anyone have any info on this? (We truly hope she's well, but given Chan Marshall's track record for erratic behavior and bailing on shows, we are skeptical about her claims in February).

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

The incomparable Aquarium Drunkard has a collection of rare MP3's chronicling Dylan and Cash performing together in 1969. If you are a fan of their wonderful record Nashville Skyline, check these out.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

A big thanks to Kevin for manning the FREEwilly controls for the past three weeks. Without further ado, we'll immediately lower the bar with a post about the upcoming Samuel Jackson film Snakes on a Plane. From Hollywood Reporter:

This month, New Line Cinema's "Snakes on a Plane," which wrapped principal photography in September in Vancouver, went back before the cameras for five days of additional shooting at the Lot in Los Angeles.

The second round of filming .... came about because of intense and growing fan interest in the movie...

"Snakes" stars Samuel L. Jackson as an FBI agent who has to fight a planeload of snakes unleashed by an assassin bent on killing a witness in protective custody. Sight unseen, the movie has grown from something of a joke into a phenomenon slithering untamed throughout the Internet.

It all started with the provocative and buzzworthy, if also reductive, title. New Line picked up the script in turnaround from Paramount Pictures in March 2003 -- in the wake of Sept. 11, terror-on-a-plane movies had fallen out of favor. And even within New Line, there were skeptics who viewed "Snakes on a Plane" as nothing but a simple programr with a "stupid title."

After Jackson came on board as the star, the title was upgraded to the more generic "Pacific Air Flight 121." ...

"Who wants to be in a movie called 'Snakes on a Plane'?" asked one talent agent at the time, seeming to echo the studio's concerns.

Movie fans... seized upon the title and started spontaneously creating fan sites, blogs, T-shirts, poems, fiction and songs. The title itself, sometimes abbreviated as "SoaP," has emerged as Internet-speak for fatalistic sentiments that range from c'est la vie to "shit happens."

Jackson publicly endorsed the move. "That's the only reason I took the job: I read the title," Jackson told entertainment site Collider.com. He added, "You either want to see that, or you don't."

New Line execs, concerned that it is too early to discuss the movie, declined comment. But sources now insist the studio never abandoned the "Snakes" title in the first place and that "Pacific Air" was just an internal working title.

In any event, "Snakes"-ophiles already were hard at work. Chris Rohan of Bethesda, Md., created an elaborate, R-rated audio trailer that lovingly mocks the title and movie. "It's a genius title," Rohan said. "It's so stupid it's great. It invites satire, but it's something you just love. It's something I can't explain. You either get it or you don't."

The audio bit uses a Jackson sound-alike shouting, "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!" Soon, the growing legion of fans added their voices as they demanded that that phrase also appear in the movie.

Apparently, the studio got the hint. When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes. And they shot a scene where Jackson does utter the line that fans have demanded.

Those involved with the film said the reshoots weren't prompted by fans but rather by the existing footage that already was a hairline into R territory. Within the studio, the thinking was, "We're already going to get an R, why not go all the way?" But the filmmakers do concede that the Jackson line will be in the movie for the sake of the fans.

This video on the satiric Snakes On a Blog is not to be missed. And here's a funny audio trailer. We can't wait to see the film. It comes out this summer.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

by Kevin K.

Topped with one of the most gorgeous CD covers to come around in years, o’death’s Head Home kicks off with the righteous growl-stomp of “Down to Rest” and continues to plow through fourteen more roots-infused beauts until you find yourself shocked and saddened that your trip through “Gas Can Row,” the last track, has ended. Compared erroneously to Tom Waits (except for a few percussive and guttural moments) in a few music blogs, o’death is really more Will Oldham meets the Holy Modal Rounders with a splash of the drunken sprawl of the Pogues and the youthful energy of early Violent Femmes—the association is unavoidable on “Nathaniel” —tacked on for good measure. A lot of the material on Head Home consists of knee-slapping, banjo-and-fiddle fueled stomps that throw sparks in every direction imaginable, but the haunting ballads really shine, too. So often current alt-roots/country music tends to slide into the abyss of mediocrity, assuming that a slide guitar run or a few plunks of a banjo can cure just about any ill, but this NYC six-piece knows full well how to kick that shit in the ass (maybe breaking a bottle or two over its head on the way) and breathe life into a genre that’s often seen slow-choking under a cardboard apple tree. Yee fucking haw! O’death done good. Real damn good.

***

You can purchase Head Home (and sample a few tracks) at o'death's MySpace site. (Also available at CD Baby) Upcoming local gigs listed here.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

by Kevin K.

From The New York Times:

In the biggest campaign fund-raiser yet on behalf of State Senator Thomas H. Kean Jr., Vice President Dick Cheney traveled to New Jersey on Monday and praised Mr. Kean as someone with "the experience, the values and the vision to be a superb United States senator."

But there was one problem: Mr. Kean was a no-show.

Actually, Mr. Kean did show up at the event, which was held at the offices of the IDT Corporation in downtown Newark. But he did not make it until 6:15, roughly 15 minutes after Mr. Cheney's motorcade had left.

So what should have been a routine political story about a successful fund-raiser, netting close to $400,000, became one in which Mr. Kean was asked repeatedly whether he had deliberately avoided being photographed with the vice president, who is deeply unpopular in New Jersey.

Mr. Kean's spokeswoman, Jill Hazelbaker, said: "There was no concerted effort. It was two ships passing in the night."

For his part, Mr. Kean said he had been in Trenton all day, voting on important bills, because "I would not miss votes in order to make a political event." As soon as the Senate wrapped up, around 4 p.m., he traveled north "as quickly as I could." But instead of taking the New Jersey Turnpike, like any regular commuter between Trenton and Newark, he and his driver chose Route 1, which is usually crawling with bumper-to-bumper traffic at that hour.

Mr. Kean said he did so because there were delays on the Turnpike in the morning. But at 6 p.m., there were no reported delays between Exit 7A, not far from Trenton, and the George Washington Bridge, according to the Turnpike's Web site.

And Anton Peters, an executive producer at Shadow Traffic, said that Route 1 was relatively trouble-free on Monday afternoon, with the only significant problem a northbound accident near Linden that was cleared up by 2 p.m. "If he was going north, it wouldn't have affected him," Mr. Peters said.

In any event, by the time he arrived in Newark, Mr. Kean said, "I ended up running down the street" to make the event.

Kean later clarified that he wasn't driving a car to the fund-raiser but "one of those Flintstone-type vehicles you propel with your feet" and that he was actually running down the street "blind-folded and in a potato sack."

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

by John Rickman

Noise rock is a genre that's easy to identify but difficult to describe. Punk-inspired but cryptic in presentation and heavy on abstraction, its practitioners clearly operate in uncharted territory. The ruckus that's all the rage is also largely a northeastern phenomenon as exemplified by popular purveyors Black Dice, Lightning Bolt, Magik Markers, and Excepter. While vastly influential, the left coast is still the best coast for unearthing the most interesting in neo no-wave noise rock.

Just recently, three of my favorite noise rock bands released amazing new full-lengths practically simultaneously.

Mouthus - The Long Salt
(Important)

On "The Long Salt," Brooklyn duo Mouthus swings for the fence with a particularly painful new compendium of distorted disturbances. The guitarist's feedback attack, which predominates the proceedings, is unrelentingly torturous but also strangely narcotic. The rhythm section pops away like an orchestra of nail guns, transforming the wall of sound into a metal shop soundtrack that crosses over into good, old-fashioned industrial music territory on a couple of occasions.

Mouthus come across more like medicine men then musicians the way their signature, strangled moaning haunts every song from within. Their unique uproar defies convention and is only marginally translatable as music. The rhythms make you want to move, but not to any step that's recognizable, and the grief-ridden wailing penetrates the soul, but disturbs the mind. Not your parent's magic carpet ride.

Sightings - End Times
(Fusetron)

"End Times," the new full-length by Brooklyn trio Sightings, is a sound spectacle of fright. Their music violently disrupts the air and lashes out menacingly, arousing one's defenses. The three-piece are presented through the prism of a muffled, in-the-red recording, establishing an aura of dominance and advantage over the listener. It's a wry move that complements the physicality of their art form and compounds the difficulty in discerning where composition and improvisation diverge within their music.

Mark Morgan slices away at his guitar, cutting razor sharp spikes of sound from it. His maniacal vocalizing expresses a range of reactionary emotion from dread and depression to rage and horror, eliciting nervous laughter from this listener. The bass and drums, also in an unbounded state of excitement, transform the proceedings into a full-fledged, frenzied shit fit. On the last track, the instrumental "Slow Boat," the band sounds consumed by its own psychic energy and aggression, perhaps reflecting the fact that on this occasion they've really outdone themselves.

Mindflayer - Expedition to the Hairier Peaks
(Corleone)

The new Mindflayer full-length is another bag of hammers altogether. The duo, which originally hails from Providence, RI, consists of Lightning Bolt drummer Brian Chippendale and Forcefield knob-twiddler Matt Brinkman. This is the unit that puts the noise in noise rock. Chippendale, a rhythmic whirlwind on the drums, creates a monolithic din all by himself, and Brinkman's deep, low-end electronic rumbling swirls the supercharged sounds into thick, cacophonous stew.

This new Mindflayer full-length is denser than usual, contains few vocal outbursts, and features epic-length tracks. If you have the constitution to survive the 11-minute opener, "Rally for a Wind War," you've got what it takes to see the expedition through to the end. This is anti-music that satisfies on a purely gut level.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

by Kevin K.

From The New York Times:

As the Iraqi insurgency intensified in early 2004, an elite Special Operations forces unit converted one of Saddam Hussein's former military bases near Baghdad into a top-secret detention center. There, American soldiers made one of the former Iraqi government's torture chambers into their own interrogation cell. They named it the Black Room.

In the windowless, jet-black garage-size room, some soldiers beat prisoners with rifle butts, yelled and spit in their faces and, in a nearby area, used detainees for target practice in a game of jailer paintball. Their intention was to extract information to help hunt down Iraq's most-wanted terrorist, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, according to Defense Department personnel who served with the unit or were briefed on its operations.

The Black Room was part of a temporary detention site at Camp Nama, the secret headquarters of a shadowy military unit known as Task Force 6-26. Located at Baghdad International Airport, the camp was the first stop for many insurgents on their way to the Abu Ghraib prison a few miles away.

Placards posted by soldiers at the detention area advised, "NO BLOOD, NO FOUL." The slogan, as one Defense Department official explained, reflected an adage adopted by Task Force 6-26: "If you don't make them bleed, they can't prosecute for it." According to Pentagon specialists who worked with the unit, prisoners at Camp Nama often disappeared into a detention black hole, barred from access to lawyers or relatives, and confined for weeks without charges. "The reality is, there were no rules there," another Pentagon official said.

[...]

Despite the task force's access to a wide range of intelligence, its raids were often dry holes, yielding little if any intelligence and alienating ordinary Iraqis, Defense Department personnel said. Prisoners deemed no threat to American troops were often driven deep into the Iraqi desert at night and released, sometimes given $100 or more in American money for their trouble.

Back at Camp Nama, the task force leaders established a ritual for departing personnel who did a good job, Pentagon officials said. The commanders presented them with two unusual mementos: a detainee hood and a souvenir piece of tile from the medical screening room that once held Mr. Hussein.

We are a nation that tortures people.

It just rolls of the tongue, doesn't it?

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 01:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

by Kevin K.

Friday March, 17 2006
What to Do:

Stay home.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

by Kevin K.

The much-ballyhooed graphic-novel-turned-film V for Vendetta isn't the only provocative, politically-charged entertainment opening tonight in NYC. You can also add the Pumpkin Pie Show's "Junta High" to the list:

Celebrating its tenth year, the Pumpkin Pie Show is a rigorous storytelling session amplified by its own live soundtrack. In junta high, Clay McLeod Chapman, a New New Stuff 2005 favorite, crafts a Sweet Valley-styled high school for terrorists where cheerleaders double as suicide bombers and guidance counselors are taken hostage by the A/V club. Holy causes worth dying for galvanize school spirits, blood is shed on the football field every Friday night and the Hungry March Band fervently plays on.

Original music written and performed live by the Hungry March Band.

Think of it as Elephant X 10 plus tubas.

Performance Space 122
150 First Ave., NYC, 212-477-5288
March 16 - 26
Wednesday-Saturday at 8:30 p.m.
Saturday and Sunday at 4:30 p.m.
$20 ($10 Members)

RELATED: A look back at Vanity Fair Contributing Editor James Wolcott's review of V for Vendetta. The film opens tonight at 10PM at several NYC theaters followed by the muffled sounds of wingnuts' heads exploding throughout the country.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 08:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

by Kevin K.

The music blog rbally has been on fire since launching in December and the first person to turn a hose on it is a dead man. Jennings recently posted two great live recordings that you can snag for free: Parliament/Funkadelic from 1978 and Blur from 1997.

I think I'm going to name my new hard drive "rbally."

MORE BOOT FOR YOUR BUCK: Solo Neil Young from '71 at An Aquarium Drunkard

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 08:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

by Kevin K.

Quasi's new dense, rock-heavy album When The Going Gets Dark (mixed by the gold-fingered Dave Fridmann) is coming out a week from today (3/21) and their label Touch & Go is streaming the whole album here. T&G has also posted an MP3 of the track "The Rhino" and music blog I Guess I'm Floating has two more for you to enjoy. You can check Quasi out live at two NYC venues in April: Knitting Factory on 4/10 and Northsix on 4/11.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 06:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

by Kevin K.

In one of the weirder web phenomenons we've stumbled upon in a while, a painting called "Bear Surprise" by NYC's renowned musician/actor/artist John Lurie has picked up a rabid cult following in Russia. The high-traffic blog Preved! features a vast array of Photoshopped versions of the painting and the image of the bear has even made its way onto everything from posters to t-shirts (here, here and here). If anyone out there speaks (or is) Russian and can give us more insight into how in the hell this all started, please leave us an explanation in comments.

(More art by Lurie can be found here.)

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (82)

by Kevin K.

George Bush, June 14, 2005: "We're a party of getting things done."

Recent cases in point: Santorum and Norton.

I guess next time someone should ask President Blunt Head Trauma what he means by "things."

BONUS FUNNY:

UPDATE: Yet another case in point. The fun never stops with these guys.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 05:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

by Kevin K.

Locals O'death will be playing a cool little benefit house party for Katrina victims tomorrow night (3/10) in Bushwick (along w/ the Good Good, Hi-Red Center, and Schmendricks). The tracks from their new CD Head Home on their Myspace site sound dang fine (I'll be reviewing the release later in the month) and they're already getting some great buzz in the music blog world.

From An Aquarium Drunkard:

The O'death sound: Imagine a slightly disturbing blend of old-world Appalachian folk music crossed with Tom Waits fronting a modern-rock/folk band. Insanity works for the band, and it's clearly captured on the album. It's the soundtrack to your worst nightmare...or perhaps a bad experience with hallucinogens, but in a good way somehow.

Some "live" photos of O'Death (and a very ecstatic endorsement) can be found at Sucka Pants.

FUN FACT: I was once at a bluegrass festival where the legendary Ralph Stanley sang "O Death" and someone in the audience had a heart attack during the song and later died. That evening, during his second appearance of the day, Ralph sang the song again. I guess he wanted to see if he was God or something. Nobody died the second time.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

by Kevin K.

Gabriel Fowler's
Intersection

Due to this weekend's popular Armory Show in Manhattan, Williamsburg galleries will be burning the 11 o'clock oil this Saturday evening. From flavorpill:

In tandem with this week's art-fair activities, After Hours organizes Williamsburg galleries to keep their doors open late Saturday evening for the many locals and visitors who dedicate this weekend to art. Among the excellent alternative viewing opportunities are Outrageous Look, which features the beautiful and obsessive brushstroke paintings of Michel Carluccio, Hogar Collections' show of the drawings of Alfonso Cantú, whose delicate depictions of appliances and other objects reveal the artist's interest in functionalism, and Unmodern Obsessions, a group show curated by artists at SouthFirst Gallery, demonstrating the energy and diversity of young artists today.

Williamsburg gallery listings here. NURTUREarts' "Well Read" show looks interesting if you're stumbling out of DuMont with a belly full of DuMac & Cheese.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

by Kevin K.

And now your warm 'n' fuzzy story of the day from AVN (careful@work):

Ron Jeremy recently debated Craig Gross, one of the founders of the Christian porn ministry, XXXChurch.com, in front of a raucous audience at Northeastern University in Boston.

Jeremy billed the spirited debate last Thursday before 1,100-plus students as “the porn star meets the bible thumper.” The Metro Studios contract star said both he and Gross wanted the debate to happen.

“The nice thing about it is I checked their website, and he did say I was nice guy. He likes to say he won and I like to say I won,” Jeremy told AVN.com Monday. “He says nice things there and there are pictures of me and him posing with the police and girls.”

While Jeremy was cheered throughout and received a standing ovations, Gross was booed upon his introduction.

“It was a great meeting and it was a brutal debate,” Jeremy continued. “We were friends off the stage, and on the stage we were on it, tearing each other apart. But afterward we went and had coffee and talked for two hours. I think he’s a nice guy, and I don’t even mind what he does. I’m glad he’s there. I don’t have a problem with it.”

To view Gross’ account of the debate, click here.

Here's an article about the event in Northeastern News.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

by Monte Holman

Centro-matic is Will Johnson, Scott Danbom, Mark Hedman and Matt Pence.

Thankfully, longevity is not usually associated with rock bands. Most these days provide a flash-in-the-pan something that's pretty innovative, and then they're on their way to melting into other formations and lineups in other bands showcasing the new twist on the old rehash. But Centro-matic hit the ground running a decade ago, and they've managed to remain relevant ever since.

Which is astonishing considering how much music these guys make together. Sometime between 1995 and 1997, front man Will Johnson became infected with the Bob Pollard bug. Centro-matic is not only Centro-matic (two cassettes, seven EP/7"/singles and eight full-lengths among other recordings in the last ten years), but they're also South San Gabriel when feeling sparse (two full-lengths) and Johnson's solo recordings when feeling sparser (two full-lengths and one 7"). The band also tours continually under one moniker or another. And to audiences each show seems like the first thanks to the give-a-shitness the band injects into each outing. From Denton to Denmark, their barroom sing-alongs encourage crowds, new and old, to get real drunk and join in the howling.

Ft. Recovery (Misra), the band's latest effort, is further proof that the Centro-matic knows how to carry the energy of the stage-or dingy pub corner-to a recording. Overall more subdued than the band's last record (2003's Love You Just the Same), Ft. Recovery has the same tenor as previous Centro-matic albums, featuring cheap fuzz from busted amps, distorted bass, doo-wops, memorable hooks, friendship. But in Ft. Recovery, the quiet tunes are lovelier, harnessing the characteristic feedback and harmonies into ghostly ambience ("Covered Up in Mines" and "I See Through You"). The raucous songs are more determined, slower in tempo but more confident in step and direction. The band's as loud as before but the instrumentation is more epic ("Monument Sails").

This is not to say Ft. Recovery doesn't retain the alcohol-induced anthems we expect from Centro-matic. "For New Starts" begs you to throw back your can of Lone Star, lock arms with your friends and join in the drawled-out shouting: "carefully braced and disgraced in this battle trash and waste - that's no condition for a new start." Swaggering guitars and a reckless tambourine carry us, wasted, from the bar. The pop songs pop-"Calling Thermatico," "Triggers and Trash Heaps" and "The Fugitives Have Won" are sturdy staples to a discography sprinkled with catchy refrains. "Take the Maps and Run" is a haunting stroll through a ghost town, cymbal-less and acoustic. The most unforgettable chorus on the record is found on "Patience For the Ride," a driving song for North Texas highways.

This album also offers some touching songs that surpass any Johnson has written. "In Such Crooked Times" is a beautiful old country standard; its steadiness is an imagistic reflection on companionship and loyalty. Similarly, "Nothin' I Ever Seen" sweetly ponders eternity and ends with Johnson's bare vocals wavering falsetto. Isolation is always at hand in Johnson's lyrics, but he's held close by Scott Danbom's slings of keys, violins and backup vocals, Mark Hedman's dynamic bass lines and Matt Pence's unremitting mix of toms and snares. Some would be tempted to say that Johnson's penchant for using archaic language is a distraction, too precious. But the strength of the band is its ability to pull Johnson back to the listener with the accessibility of the music. Johnson's vulnerability is sincere in these slower songs, and we believe him.

Centro-matic's continued pertinence doesn't spring from trying to be the first to do the next big thing. It's simply that they write good songs and do it well. The likeability lies in the simple structures, the verse/chorus layouts, the few tricky chords. Centro-matic is folksy Americana within everyone's reach-tender, desperate, hopeful.

Fittingly, "Take a Rake" is the rowdy closing track, kicking the chairs out from under everyone during last call. As the lights in the bar start to come on, the band trails off, downs a shot of whiskey, then launches into a shrill, Hendrix-esque fuck-you to the owner for trying to close the place down before two. They're not done yet.

Ft. Recovery can be streamed Misra's website. It comes out Tuesday, March 7, and Centro-matic is playing at the Mercury in NYC on April 2. Go to this show.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

by Kevin K.

I was going to write a what-to-do post yesterday, but the FREEwilly server took a tumble and I was on the phone listening to a recording of a woman saying "Your business means a lot to us" over and over for 48 minutes, so yesterday you were probably wandering around aimlessly, bumping into door jams and cologne-soaked, black-eyed guys named Alojzy. You'll still be doing the same thing today:

Your soundtrack for the day: "He Ain't Heavy...He's My Brother" by Rufus Wainwright

Tonight: Elisa Flynn at Stain Bar. Imagine Barbara Manning living in Brooklyn and being a founder of the Bunny Brains. "I love him, he's the turtle king." (warning: auto-audio)

A video for you to enjoy: "You've Got to Hold On" (Wayne Coyne and robots ... who woulda thunk it?)

You haven't read this yet?: "The Memo"

Pick hit to click next week: The Boy Least Likely To at R&R on Friday (3/10). It's guranteed that your friends will hate you after you play them this syrupy, banjo-and-piano-laden mush, but we all know they secretly like Spyro Gyra, Europe and Molly Hatchet (in that order), so who cares? Losers.

"I couldn't have said it better myself" sign of the day:

Solidarity With Denmark Rally, NYC, 3/3/06
(alternative title: An incredibly boring event packed with nutters who treat displays of free speech and freedom of the press with cries of sedition and/or treason here in the homeland)

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 01:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (42)

by Kevin K.

Via Tiny Mix Tapes we see that the White Stripes' Jack White has been getting a little batty about the tepid response to Get Behind Me Satan on his unnavigable psuedo-blog:

"What a funny album, coming from divided critics to supposed disappointing sales, to going platinum in several countries, to making most critics top ten lists, to winning a Grammy. That's funny right? When that happens pitchfork has to call spin to confer on whether to ignore or make fun of it They lose perspective, the sewer workers below their lower east side Manhattan hipster bar out smarts them every time. They all play a coward's game. Only one side to their playground. Such an easy fight that way. The faceless opinion of print and the internet. What is it teaching all of us? Back when there was a time when we had great writers, and respected journalists who had earned their position as tastemakers, and won peoples' respect with their knowledge and insight, it was much easier to understand a written opinion because at least you knew who it was coming from. Now those printed opinions are probably coming from the person sitting next to you in the mall. Why should you care about their opinion? Why shouldn't you? ... Personally I go to senior citizen community centers for my dose of editorial. At least I know those people have lived long enough that they deserve respect. Critics are the only public expression that isn't "allowed" to be critiqued. Be careful children, you don't have to listen to all those opinions out there, and not even this one you are reading. Remember the person's opinion you are reading probably knows less about less about the topic you are interested in than you do."

Children, you could dig deep into the psyche of White and come up with some really juicy stuff (he also accuses veteran garage rocker Billy Childish, who has been recording since White was 4-years-old, of plagiarism), but it's much easier to just point to the part (with a snicker or three) where he chest-thumps about his Grammy—the most embarrassing award to win next to a Razzie—and finally understand how Renee Zellweger could go from dating Jack to marrying Kenny Chesney. Mystery solved.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

by Kevin K.

Akron/Family's split album with Michael Gira's Angels of Light (titled, oddly enough, Akron/Family & Angels of Light) was one of the most criminally neglected releases of 2005. I've yet to see A/F live, but I've heard very good things and according to Todd P, A/F is going to be playing a secret show at an undisclosed Brooklyn location on April 1st (tix only available @ Eat Records in Greenpoint).

I went to a secret show in north Williamsburg many moons ago that featured those zany New Bomb Turks as the headliners. It was in an old warehouse and candles provided the only light in the service elevator you had to take to get to the space. I don't know how in the hell she found out about it (being a dork and all), but MTV's old VJ Kennedy was there. I found that to be very distracting, but had a helluva time. I'm fairly certain the A/F show will be great, too, but if Jesse Camp's there, I'm hurling him off the roof.

Listen:
Akron/Family's "Dylan Pt. 2" from A/F & A of L (MP3)

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 08:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

by Kevin K.

From the LA Times:

Trip offers Bush a break from troubles back home

From ABC News:

Tens of Thousands Protest Bush India Visit

Where did that brush go?

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 08:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)