From left: James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Ted Haggard, Dubya

Last week we launched a new website to coincide with our upcoming book, The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right (Penguin/NAL). The book is slotted to hit the shelves September 5. Just in time for the Rapture! Here's the publisher's description:

"From Bibles designed to look like glossy fashion magazines to mega-churches with ATMs, rock climbing walls, and in one case, a drive-thru McDonalds, the nuances of conservative evangelical culture are no mystery to Robert Lanham, who has his roots in the Bible Belt. Now, with his anthropological eye and trademark wit, Lanham has compiled a handy guide to the evangelical right for those who can expect to be left behind in the End of Days."

During the course of our study, we became temporary residents of Colorado Springs (the so-called evangelical Vatican), joined an End Times Studies small group, attended a Christian extreme sports event hosted by Stephen Baldwin, met some evangelical mimes, and hung out with Ted Haggard—a megachurch pastor who speaks with George Bush every Monday morning when he's not busy speaking in tongues in his "prayer closet." You can read the book's introduction here.

We're excited as well about the website, EvangelicalRight.com, which will be like a Drudge Report or a Huffington Post, only detailing the exploits of the Rapture Right.

Stop by when you can, and don't forget to take our Evangelical Right Quiz:

— True or False: George W. Bush declared June 10 to be "Jesus Day" when he was Governor of Texas.
a) True
b) False

— Plugged In, Focus on the Family's movie magazine criticized all but one of the following movies of promoting something they refer to as "outercourse." Choose the supposedly outercourse-free film:
a) Kinsey
b) 40 Days and 40 Nights
c) The 40-Year-Old Virgin
d) Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Find out the answers and take the quiz here.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

A tipster send us this short video, filmed in Williamsburg. It's a must-see [thanks Noel]

We did the book, looks like someone may finally do the video series. From theburg.tv website:

The Burg: the hipster world capital where trust fund kids pretend to be starving artists, starving artists pretend to be able to live completely off of credit cards, and everybody pretends not to notice. Who says gentrification isn't funny?

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (20)

And it's clear that they have their fingers on the pulse of the 'hood:

[from the Queens Ledger]
Last week, representatives from Live Nation, one of the largest outdoor entertainment promoters in the world, came to Community Board 1 to discuss their upcoming project: six summer concerts that will be taking place inside the giant swimming pool at McCarren Park.

John Huff, senior vice president of Live Nation New York, and talent buyer Sam Kinken shared details regarding the McPool concert series. They also fielded questions, most of which had to do with their choice of musical acts as well as ticket prices.

Live Nation will be staging a total of six concerts - two or three per-month - from July through September. Kinken said they are expecting attendance figures of up to six thousand, a figure that the pool can accommodate. As far as ticket prices are concerned, he and Huff seemed to hedge between $20 and $35 per ticket. "The ticket price will vary depending on how much the artist wants," said Kinken. "We hope it will be no more than $30."

The concerts at McCarren Park will most likely feature alternative rock acts, although neither Huff nor Kinken could confirm which acts, if any, had been signed. "I would definitely say that, more than likely, you'll see independent rock bands," he told a small group of about ten people at CB1 headquarters. "But at the same time, we're talking to a number of bands that skew across the 70's, [similar to] Tom Petty."

Kinken assured the community that the live shows would not cater specifically to edgy youth acts. "A standard rock show put on by Live Nation is going to feature people like me," the 36-year-old corporate employee said. He also told board members that Live Nation would respect the state of the pool, which opened at McCarren Park in 1936, although it has been out of service since 1984. "There will be no moshing," he said. "There will be no body surfing. We do these shows at the appropriate venues, and this is not the appropriate venue..."

Awesome! We're looking forward to the Bachman Turner Overdrive reunion. Maybe Toad the Wet Sprocket will open. And do they really think Diesel-jeans and blazers wearing hipsters in Williamsburg would ever mosh? As a local tipster asks:

"What about local bands?? Why can't Todd P book shows there?? What about the Polish or Latino communities...shows that they would come to? Or discounted seats for locals? Or how about WHAT THE FUCK IS CLEAR CHANNELDOING IN OUR PARK?"

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Except when they're played by John Kruk. This video of Kruk rocking out is as priceless as his mullet. [thanks Jud. c/o Can't Stop Bleeding ]

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 04:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Gellar in Southland Tales

We're huge fans of Richard Kelly's first film Donnie Darko and have been eagerly awaiting his follow-up, Southland Tales. Hopefully we'll get to see it. Evidently, it's even more bizarre than Darko and has yet to find a distributor. The Voice has a review from Cannes. It sounds like Southland Tales will either be genius or dreadful. It's difficult to predict since we only agree with Voice critic, J. Hoberman, about 10% of the time.

In the shadow of Da Vinci, Cannes '06's first great film: A visionary American comedy about the end of times...

Kelly's second feature is as talented as—and even more ambitious than—his debut, the cult hit Donnie Darko. A high-voltage farrago of unsynopsizable plots and counterplots, Southland Tales unfolds—mid-presidential campaign—in an alternate, pre- and post-apocalyptic universe where Texas was nuked on July 5, 2005, and a German multinational has figured out how to produce energy from ocean water. The mode is high-octane sci-fi social satire; the cast is large and antic (with wrestler Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as an anxious, amnesiac action hero and Sarah Michelle Gellar biting down hard on the role of socially conscious porn queen Krysta Now).

Essentially, Southland Tales is a big-budget, widescreen underground movie. ("Star-Spangled to Death," one colleague commented as we left the screening.) Filled with throwaway gags and trippy special effects, it's a comedy as well. Philip K. Dick is the presiding deity—the movie is thick with drugs, paranoia, and time-travel metaphysics—although Karl Marx (and his family) keep surfacing in various guises, including the last remnant of the Democratic Party. The film is a mishmash of literary citations, interpolated music videos, and movie references—most obviously to Robert Aldrich's Kiss Me Deadly—but it's even more concerned with evoking the ubiquitous media texture of contemporary American life.

At two hours and 40 minutes, Southland Tales flirts with the ineffable and also the unreleasable. There's no U.S. distributor; nor does the movie's humor, much of it predicated on a familiarity with American television, political rhetoric, and religious cant, seem designed to travel easily. Received with a lusty round of boos and a smattering of applause, Southland Tales provoked the festival's most negative press screening and hostile press conference since The Da Vinci Code. The first question suggested (incorrectly) that Kelly's movie had set a Cannes record for number of walkouts and asked the director how he felt.

Why was the Kelly Code too much to take? Sensory overload is certainly a factor, but unlike Da Vinci, Southland Tales actually is a visionary film about the end of times. There hasn't been anything comparable in American movies since Mulholland Drive.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

This should be a great show. Hello Mom! is one of 2005's nicest surprises. From Flavorpill:

Modeselektor's Hello Mom! is one of the best releases yet on Ellen Allien's increasingly dominant BPitch Control label — and it's not even proper techno. The Berlin-based duo packed its debut LP to the gills with impish synthetic mischief that does for electronic music fans what the Go! Team does for the indie massive: provide a shameless sugar-rush of dizzying, look-no-hands genre hops. Whether cutting euro-crunk anthems with Cuizinier, unleashing mind-melting ghettotech bounce, or dropping faux-dancehall burners, Modeselektor refuse to be pinned down — much less sit still.

And here's what Pitchfork has to say:

8.3: Hello Mom! might not be a dance-music crossover on the level of, say, Ryksopp albums; it might not even be a crossover on the level of Mylo's or Vitalic's, but it's still impressive enough to entertain folks well outside its core audience-- German electro-tech geekery not entirely required. "Impressive" isn't even the word: There's hardly a minute on this record that doesn't keep turning out to be way more fun than the last time you heard it.

Check 'em out tonight:
when: Tue 5.23 (9pm)
where: APT (419 W 13th St, 212.414.4245)
price: $9

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From Pitchfork
Maybe it was the bombs to make you blow. Or the beats to make you bang. Or maybe it's because her father is a Tamil Tiger and she put out a mixtape called Piracy Funds Terrorism. For whatever reason, British-Sri Lankan mash-up diva M.I.A. has been denied entry into the United States of America. She recently posted the following, um, cryptic message on her MySpace page:

"THEY TRY SHUT MY DOOR!

Roger roger do you here me over!!!!
the U.S immigration wont let me in!!!!!
i was mennu work with timber startin this week, but now im doin a Akon "im locked out they wont let me in" im locked out! they wont let me in! Now Im strictly making my album outside the borders!!!! so il see you all one day, for now ill keep reportin from the sidelines to my people who walk wiv me in the America, dont forget we got the internet! Spread the word! or come get me!!!!!! ill be in my bird flu lab in china! liming and drinkin tiger beer with my pet turtel. I love everyone for the support, now i need it more. ill stay up spread out else where."

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

First, he ripped O'Reilly a new asshole. Now he's after Mary Cheney who is currently on her new book tour. Letterman is becoming must-see TV:

David: ... Maybe, I'm wondering if people would rather you had talked about it [being the gay daughter of Darth Vader] during the campaign as opposed to after the campaigns waiting to put it in a book. Would it have been more effective to talk about it then?

Mary: I honestly don't think it would have...

David: Do they resent you taking the opportunity to make money selling books now, where as before there was something larger to have accomplished?

Mary: I am very hesitant to speak on behalf of anybody. I'm sure there are people who feel that way and I know there are other people who don't feel that way...

Watch the video here [via Crooks & Liars]

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

Now that it's common knowledge that the United States is a.) a country that tortures people and b.) our "rendition" policy and our treatment of "enemy combatants" has inflamed the insurgency in Iraq (while destroying any delusions of our own moral high ground), should we even be debating this?:

[From the Associated Press]
Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said for the first time yesterday that officials are at odds over whether a new Army manual should endorse different interrogation techniques for enemy insurgents than are allowed for regular prisoners of war.

The debate hinges on whether suspected terrorists or other insurgents can be treated more severely than captured members of an enemy army. There are concerns such a distinction could fly in the face of a law enacted last year, pressed by Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona, that explicitly banned cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment of prisoners by US troops.

''There is a debate over the difference between a prisoner of war under the Geneva Convention and an unlawful combatant in a situation that is different from the situation envisioned by the Geneva Convention," Rumsfeld told the Senate Appropriations subcommittee on defense. ''And those issues are being wrestled with at the present time."...

Shortly after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, President Bush decided that ''enemy combatants" captured on the battlefield in Afghanistan would not be considered POWs and afforded the protections of the Geneva conventions. The Pentagon has felt compelled to look for unconventional approaches to gaining timely information from detainees that might help prevent attacks.

Many of those enemy combatants were sent to the detention facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Since then and after the prisoner abuse scandals that erupted in 2004, officials have debated whether all detainees should be treated the same or whether military interrogators should be allowed to use more severe techniques against suspected insurgents -- such as those at Guantanamo.

Rumsfeld said a draft of the new manual has been circulated in recent weeks, and there have been meetings with members of Congress to discuss it...

Some military officials, however, said that disclosing details of interrogations would allow the enemy to prepare and train for them

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

A tipster sent us this earlier:

Steve is a 40 year old man who lives in Springfield, Georgia with his mother. He spends his time making video blogs, and writing, directing, and starring in his home-made sci-fi drama "The Portal"... In my house he has become somewhat of an overnight celebrity / cult hero. You have to see it to believe it. It's almost a holy experience.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 02:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Too bad evangelicals can't organize around something worthwhile:

[From Chicago Sun Times]
There are still some religious leaders who are asking fellow Christians to boycott the film based on Dan Brown's mega-selling novel of the same name. One such group is calling for an "other-cott," asking "every Christian who loves Jesus" to buy tickets to any other movie besides "The Da Vinci Code" during its opening weekend, which begins this Friday.

But a much larger, more organized and better-marketed movement among major evangelical leaders has been under way for months, urging the faithful to embrace the film as an opportunity to spread the gospel, rather than a threat to its sanctity.

In a survey earlier this year, Outreach Inc., a Christian marketing firm in Southern California hired by Mel Gibson's production company to market "The Passion of the Christ" to evangelicals, reported that 67 percent of churches planned to do something in response to the "Da Vinci" film.

Our favorite "Christian" teaching tool is a video called The Conspiracy Game. The video ridicules a "liberal" Episcopal bishop "who reduces the bible to tolerance," a feminist who "hates men," and of course a beret-wearing French intellectual. You can watch it here. (requires reg)

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

...and now the albino's are pissed off about The Da Vinci Code:

[From The Associated Press] The notion of Christ as a family man is not the only raw nerve "The Da Vinci Code" has touched. Albinos are bothered that one of their own has yet again been depicted as a villain.

Dan Brown's best seller begins its worldwide debut Wednesday with Tom Hanks as the cryptologist pursuing a 2,000-year-old mystery that could reveal Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and that the Vatican covered it up.

Among his co-stars is Paul Bettany, the British actor playing monk- assassin Silas, an albino with red eyes who carries out a series of bloody murders to secure the secret of the Holy Grail, a trove of lost Christian documents that could prove Jesus had wed.

Critics cite a long list of albinos cast as heavies by Hollywood: The dreadlocked twins in "The Matrix Reloaded," a powder-haired hit man in the Chevy Chase-Goldie Hawn crime romp "Foul Play," the pasty zombies in "The Omega Man," a sadistic killer in "Cold Mountain," even the wicked executioner in the fairy-tale comedy "The Princess Bride."

Michael McGowan, an albino who heads the National Organization for Albinism and Hypopigmentation, said "The Da Vinci Code" will be the 68th movie since 1960 to feature an evil albino.

"Silas is just the latest in a long string," McGowan said. "The problem is there has been no balance. There are no realistic, sympathetic or heroic characters with albinism that you can find in movies or popular culture."

People with albinism have little or no pigmentation in their skin, eyes and hair.

McGowan said his group asked "Da Vinci Code" director Ron Howard's production outfit, Imagine Entertainment, not to bleach Silas' hair or make his eyes red, but "that fell on deaf ears."

When offered the role, Bettany initially thought mainly of the makeup challenge, saying past attempts to lighten non-albino actors' pigmentation had not looked realistic.

Bettany said he looked at Silas not as an evil albino but as a man damaged by his harsh upbringing. In the book, Silas was an abused child who wound up on the streets, was scorned as an outcast, turned to violence and landed in prison.

"I thought, this man's a psychopath, and he's not a psychopath because he's an albino," Bettany said. "He's an amalgamation of everything that sort of happened to him in his life. How his father treated him and the things he saw his father do to his mother, and he happens to be preternaturally gifted at hurting people. ...

"I think it's no more a comment on albinos than it is on monks, and no more a comment on monks than it is on people who wear sandals," Bettany said.

Many readers found Silas a tragic character despite his misdeeds, viewing him more as a lost sheep than a villain.

McGowan said his group plans no boycotts or picketing. Instead, the group aims to use the movie's popularity to raise awareness about the realities of albinism. He said he enjoyed most of the book and plans to see the movie.

"We understand that millions read it and when they go to the movie, they're going to want to see the albino monk-assassin," McGowan said. "It's the cumulative effect of having one evil albino character after another that was disturbing to me."

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 05:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Check out Wilco at Union College's Memorial Chapel, in Schenectady, NY, April 27, 2002 here.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Music Reviews by John Rickman

Wizardzz - "Hidden City of Taurmond"
(Load)

Wizardzz is the side project of Lightning Bolt bassist Brian Gibson and Bug Sized Mind machinist Rich Porter. Using only drums and synthesizers, the two summon forth a sensational racket that is at once aesthetically ecstatic and magically delicious.

Gibson, oddly enough, sounds like his Bolt band mate and Mindflayer drummer Brian Chippendale on the skins: big, beefy, and bombastic. His fiery, rhythmic flurry gives Wizardzz' fairy funk an edgy groove, but it plays second fiddle to Porter's sparkling, improvised synth twiddle and melodious mantras.

The duo crafts a feel-good, instrumental electro-rock sound akin to Cluster on steroids. Indeed, Wizardzz succeed in suggesting a mystical force is at work within their music.

Somehow the instrumentation makes sense together. However, on one or two occasions, Gibson drops out of the mix all together to allow Porter the space to throw down a sequenced electronic hoe-down. These compositions are cute and cartoonish and catchy as hell.

As it turns out, Brian Gibson is also the man behind Barkley's Barnyard Critters, an irregular animated cartoon series that also features Porter's strange synthesizer sounds...

Barkley's Barnyard Critters - "Mystery Tail" DVD
(Load)

"Mystery Tail" is the latest installment of the Barkley's Barnyard Critters saga, which tells the story of rocker dog Barkley and his band of freakish animal friends. In Gibson's animated animal world, unrealized dreams of rock stardom compel a band of crazy creatures to do the wackiest things.

The cartoon epic features hand-drawn and 3-D animation as well as live action characters, the combination of which is reminiscent of Hanna-Barbera's Banana Splits Hour. Hand-drawn or otherwise, the characters' voices can be downright annoying and the plot mildly confounding, but that's part of the charm of Barkley's barnyard world.

The DVD also features a live Wizardzz performance that's worth the price of admission alone. And all this time I thought Brian Chippendale was the more prolific and multi-talented Lightning Bolt thrower!

Dub Syndicate - "The Rasta Far I" (Collision)
www.dub-music.de/

Reggae artist Style Scott, who first enjoyed success as the drummer for Price Far I and the Arabs and later for Creation Rebel, came to prominence in the 1980s playing for the reggae collective Dub Syndicate: one of the many musical projects spearheaded by British On-U Sound label boss and producer Adrian Sherwood.

Scott's nimble rhythms and electronic drum style helped define the label's futuristic Rasta sound back in the day, and today he continues to record under the Dub Syndicate moniker for his own label, Lion & Roots, which he founded in 1998.

Scott's music is still exciting and forward thinking. His new double CD, "The Rasta Far I" (released on the German Collision label), pulls the best tracks from the Lion & Roots back catalog and presents them in both mega-mix and version fashion.

The double disc set features vocals from some of reggae music's biggest superstars, such as Big Youth, Junior Reid, and Gregory Isaacs. The rhythm tracks were recorded at the legendary Tuff Gong studio and were mixed by both Sherwood and Scientist. Nuff said.

-- John Rickman

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

And a five year prison stint couldn't happen to a nicer person. From Bradblog:

Republican extremist/hate-monger, Ann Coulter may be on the verge of being tossed from the Voter Rolls in Palm Beach County, Florida.

The BRAD BLOG has also obtained exclusive official documents from the chain of events which has helped bring the GOP darling to a new place in her career: She has fallen completely silent.

Coulter, who appears to have committed a third-degree felony by knowingly giving an incorrect address on her voter registration form in Palm Beach, Florida, and then knowingly voting at the incorrect polling place last March, could face up to $5,000 in fines and five years in prison if convicted.

In April, The BRAD BLOG posted Coulter's fraudulent Voter Registration form in full. Today, we have more official and exclusive documents from the incident.

In light of Coulter's apparent voter fraud felony, the Palm Beach County Supervisor of Elections, Dr. Arthur Anderson, had sent her a letter last March (posted in full below), giving her 30 days to explain her actions, before possibly referring the matter to the state attorney for prosecution. So far, Coulter has failed to reply at all. Officials now say she may be removed from the voter rolls.

According to Michelle Pilecki at Huffington Post, Coulter has since been attacking those who question her about the incident on her speaking tour. Comment at that linked story, posted by a student who attended one of Coulter's events reported:

Ann Coulter spoke on my campus tonight, and I asked her "I was just wondering if you would like to respond to allegations that you knowingly voted in the wrong precinct in Palm Beach."

She responded that "No, I don't live in Palm Beach. Maybe you shouldn't read retarded news!"

But "retarded news" site, The BRAD BLOG linked to several documents which indicate, in no uncertain terms, that Coulter purchased a $1.8 million dollar crib in Palm Beach in March of 2005. If that is not her residence, Coulter would still be guilty of an apparent voter fraud felony, since she did register to vote in Palm Beach...even if at the wrong address.

As well, Coulter has received a $25,000 homestead tax exemption, which, according to Palm Beach law, would only be available to use as a tax deduction on the property if she "lives there permanently".

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

From the American Prospect

Each of the Big Three networks, plus Fox's broadcast network, have rejected a paid advertisement from the United Church of Christ that bears the tagline, "God doesn't reject people. Neither do we." Viacom's gay-targeted cable channel, LOGO, has also rejected the ad, which conveys a message of inclusiveness, even depicting a gay couple.

The UCC's "ejector-seat" ad speaks to the rejection of various categories of people by unnamed Christian churches -- a touchy subject for a nation that deems itself to be among the most God-fearing on Earth. It shows people who represent frequent targets of discrimination being ejected -- into the air -- from a church pew via a mechanism involving springboards hidden in the pews, controlled by an unseen party represented by an apparently white, male hand pressing a button.

First to be ejected is an African-American woman trying to quiet her crying baby. Next are two men who appear to be a gay couple, a man who looks to be of Middle Eastern descent and an elderly woman whose walker is tossed up with her. The spot ends with the contrasting message that the UCC church, a descendent of the early Puritan churches, rejects no one...

[Meanwhile] ABC [has] accepted paid advertisements from the religious right organization, Focus on the Family, whose leader, James Dobson, has vilified gay people.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Sonic Youth's new CD, Rather Ripped is scheduled for release on June 13th. For those of you who can't wait that long, RBally, has a generous sample here. It's a live show recorded on French radio featuring new material from the record. Download the mp3's here.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Terry Zwigoff's Art School Confidential

by Dave Thomas

The summer of 2006 is shaping up to look like the summer of 2004, where big, obnoxious sequels actually happened to be good films (Spider-Man 2, Shrek 2, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, The Bourne Supremacy). And so it is with unabashed glee that I look forward to the third installments that open and close the month, even though each are on their third director.

May 5

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Tom Cruise vs. Philip Seymour Hoffman and his own tattered reputation.

WILL IT SUCK?
Of all the directors slated to helm this sequel (David Fincher, Joe Carnahan), J.J. Abrams is probably my favorite. Why? Two words. Alias and Lost. Who better to combine character and plot into a seamless whole (except maybe Joss Whedon, but that would just be weird)? It doesn't hurt that Phillip Seymour Hoffman is joined here by Billy Crudup, Michelle Monaghan, and Laurence Fishburne. The only sad part is that Hoffman is probably going to lose.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This will own the first half of May. $205mil.

--------------------------------------

HOOT

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Someone's managed to combine the rallying cries "Save the spotted owl!" with "Will somebody please think of the children!?"

WILL IT SUCK?
On many levels. You've got the writer/director with a lot of Fraiser and Becker under his directing belt, but only The Wil Shriner Show for a writing credit, and he is Wil Shriner. The screenplay is based on a novel from the guy who wrote the book for Striptease, which I just find amusing. Luke Wilson and and Tim Blake Nelson are on board for what, from the trailer, looks like groan-inducing comic relief as inept cops trying to stop the kids from stopping the construction that's going to kill the owls. Yeah, it's that kind of movie. And Jimmy Buffett did the music and plays a science teacher in the film. Neil Flynn from Scrubs shows up, but that's just not enough.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
M:I3 is PG:13. As a result, you have a much greater draw on the kid audience than you would otherwise. Not to mention Stick It from the week before and Lindsay Lohan drawing tweeners in Just My Luck the following week. $17mil.

--------------------------------------

AN AMERICAN HAUNTING

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
I don't know. But I'll tell you this much. It's nice, for once, to see a haunting that wasn't outsourced.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, but the concept is novel. It's a period piece ghost story, based on actual events, where the ghost ends up killing someone. The director, unfortunately, has but Dungeons and Dragons to his credit.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
M:I3 is an issue. And horror doesn't always do well in the summer. Especially if it's not irretrievably stupid. $12mil.

--------------------------------------

THE PROMISE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Fairly fakey-looking Wuxia epic from the director of Farewell My Concubine.

WILL IT SUCK?
In spite of the cheesy-looking fx, this was China's submission for Best Foreign Language Film, so at least they had confidence in it. It's also the most expensive Chinese film to date, which make those fx even more boggling. The delay from December has more to do with Warner Independent buying it from the Weinstein Bros. than any lack of quality on the film's part, we hope. Though the early American buzz is disappointing.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The big indie release this weekend is Art School Confidential. And if the Lady Vengeance folks can get their shit together and pick a release date (supposedly around now) that might be the final nail in the coffin. $1mil.

--------------------------------------

CRAZY LIKE A FOX

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Roger Rees (Robin Colcord or Lord John Marbury, if you prefer) goes crazy. But it's all to save his farm, so it's okay.

WILL IT SUCK?
Hard to say. Totally new writer/director. It's Roger Rees, so he should be fun. Delayed for a full year, not as good a sign. But early buzz is decent. I tell you what, though, if they ever make a movie version of that 80's series Crazy Like a Fox, I'll be there. Or if they make a movie about how Rupert Murdoch is totally fucking jacknuts.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not a huge distributor and not a huge star. $250,000.

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ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The latest from the minds behind Ghost World covers life in the eponymous facility.

WILL IT SUCK?
Given the pedigree, it's sort of disappointing to see the early buzz be this bad. And with Jim Broadbent, John Malkovich, and Ethan Suplee lending support, even moreso.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Given the lack of competition, the names may be enough to initially overcome bad word of mouth. $3mil.

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DOWN IN THE VALLEY

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Ed Norton returns to indiewood in this story of a guy who thinks he's a cowboy.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Norton is joined by Evan Rachel Wood as the love interest and David Morse as the love interest's concerned father.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It might do better to come out next week, when there's far less indie product with which to compete. Regardless, Norton's a name but the fact that very few outlets are touting this right now is a bad promotional sign. $3mil.

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THE PROPOSITION

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Outback western

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is quite good. Nick Cave (yes, the singer/songwriter) has apparently written a compelling epic for Guy Pearce, Ray Winstone, Danny Huston, John Hurt, and Emily Watson to act out under the direction of John Hillcoat. Won a bunch of Aussie awards.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Again, having all the stars in the world doesn't matter if no one knows about it. And move it up a week. $2mil.

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May 12
--------------------------------------

POSEIDON

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The mighty god of the sea loses his job and has to find work in a car wash to win back his high school crush. Actually, this is a remake of The Poseidon Adventure, but I like my idea better.

WILL IT SUCK?
I fail to see how this will be any different than Titanic. Has technology improved so much in the last ten years that watching a boat sink is going to look that much cooler? On the other hand, I have confidence in Wolfgang Petersen as a director (though maybe not enough to give him Ender's Game - I shit you not). I don't have as much confidence in the screenwriter, who's last effort was The Cell. And as much as I look forward to Andre Braugher's next great role, this ain't it.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A little bit of competition from the second frame of M:I3 and a little from Just My Luck, drawing a date crowd that might otherwise think of Poseidon as the next Titanic. But the real problem is next week's Da Vinci Code. $123mil.

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JUST MY LUCK

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Lindsay Lohan switches her good luck for some guy's bad luck. Romantic comedy ensues.

WILL IT SUCK?
Well, you've got Donald Petrie, the guy behind such classics as How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and Welcome to Mooseport at the helm, so, yes certainly. Dude, there are people who helped write the Larry the Cable Guy movie with story credit here.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It's more or less alone on the romcom front, and Lohan's no slouch. $57mil.

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GOAL! THE DREAM BEGINS

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Kid from the bario gets to try out for Newcastle United.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is pretty good, which may be why, unlike Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins, there actually is a part two and three underway for the dream that begins here. Although does anyone really think that Fred Ward is really too old for The Adventure Continues? Who's with me?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Although there's not much competition this week or next, the overflow from the previous week could hurt. On the other hand, soccer is more popular in this country than you might think. Is it indie-movie-theater popular? Bend It Like Beckham might say yes. $13mil.

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KEEPING UP WITH THE STEINS

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
A story about competing Bar Mitzvahs.

WILL IT SUCK?
This won the audience award at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival, so somebody thought it was funny. But haven't I seen Jeremy Piven go nuts over a Bat Mitzvah on Entourage already? Still, I like the premise, and the one scene I've seen (a Titanic-themed Bar Mitvah) was chuckle-worthy. We'll see if director Scott Marshall can be the second comic director legacy (after Jason Reitman with Thank You For Smoking) to break out this year.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This is the only thing with any kind of star power coming out in indiewood this week. However, no one knows it yet. $6mil.

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DEAD MAN'S SHOES

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Paddy Considine goes all sickhouse on the goons who terrorized his brother.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is quite good. Won all sorts of awards overseas, including the BAFTA for Best British Film. Also supposed to have some creepy supernatural elements.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Magnolia needs to get on the ball with the advertising already. This is the first I've heard of this flick and I love Paddy Considine, revenge flicks, and creepy supernatural elements. $1mil.

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May 19
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THE DA VINCI CODE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Want I should explain Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter while I'm at it?

WILL IT SUCK?
For a book that no one I know liked, they've sure thrown a lot of talent at this. The Beautful Mind/Cinderella Man writing/directing team of Akiva Goldsman and Ron Howard is on board here, along with major acting chops in the form of Tom Hanks, Audrey Tatou, Jean Reno, Ian McKellan, Alfred Molina, and Paul Bettany as freaky albino dude. It'll be the best movie you can possibly make of The Da Vinci Code.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Over the Hedge will bleed a bit of the adult demo who need to accompany their kids, and X3 won't help next week, but there's a reason I mentioned LOTR and Harry Potter. $236mil.

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OVER THE HEDGE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Cute CGI woodland creatures vs. suburbia.

WILL IT SUCK?
With a pedigree that includes the director of Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas and writers behind everything from Chicken Run to the latest Pink Panther movie, it's no surprise that the early buzz is of the "at least it's not as bad as Madagascar" variety.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Madagascar, last summer's Dreamworks ani-fest, had the luxury of a Pixar-less season. This, though well distanced from Cars, does not. $161mil.

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SEE NO EVIL

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The WWE's Kane plays a slasher who plucks out his victims' eyeballs. Get it?

WILL IT SUCK?
This is perfect on so many levels I think I'll burst. The director has a plethora of adult titles to his credit, including the clown porn opus New Wave Hookers 4. The writer has done some uncredited scribbling for...wait for it...WWF Smackdown! Although, I suppose the bigger shock here should be that modern slasher flicks have writers. Finally, there's the ontological genius of casting a wrestler as a horror villain. Only Snakes on a Plane gets more zen than this. If only they could have caught on sooner. "Can you smell what The Rock is cooking? Your spleen!" And I can't wait for the movie where the villain kills you with folding chair.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This is a brilliant bit o' counter-programming. $38mil.

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TWELVE AND HOLDING

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Kids doing what they oughtn’t. Courtesy of L.I.E. auteur Michael Cuesta.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz has this as the next Mean Creek or Mysterious Skin, if not, you know, the next L.I.E.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A dearth of competition will be this film's friend. $2mil.

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THE KING

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Gael García Bernal and William Hurt get into it over Hurt's daughter.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good and why not? Bernal is the man.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Add a dearth of competition to star power, you get even better results. $4mil.

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May 26
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X-MEN: THE LAST STAND

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Juggernaut! Shadowcat! Angel! Dark Fuckin' Phoenix! And Beast, yo! Beast!

WILL IT SUCK?
The question is not "WILL IT SUCK?" but "Will it be mediocre?" See, the best the talent behind this film has put together thus far includes Red Dragon and Rush Hour (director Brett Ratner), Mr. and Mrs. Smith (co-writer Simon Kinberg), and, well, X2 (co-writer Zak Penn). If everyone surpasses themselves (and Zak brings his A-game and not his Elektra-game), we're in for the best X-flick yet. If not, it'll be "Empire was so much better than Jedi" all over again.

The trailers, I will admit, kick ass.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Hear that? It's the sound of nothing else opening wide this week. $254mil.

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AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
A 100-minute PowerPoint on global warming.

WILL IT SUCK?
Trust me. It's a good PowerPoint. Doesn't hurt that Al Gore is giving it. He's got charisma to burn when he's not running for anything. And if you remember my mention of the best movie poster of the year in last month's preview, I think the version currently up on the film's IMDB page may be it.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Again, a lack of competition to the rescue. But this will really depend on word of mouth, so tell your friends. And they'll tell two friends. And they'll tell two friends. $3mil.

Next Month: Guess who’s back. Back again. Kal-El’s back. Tell a friend.

-- Dave Thomas

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

... because we'd forgotten about 9-11, Madrid, the London bombings, etc., etc.:

[From ABC] U.S. mass transit systems should remain alert against possible terror attacks, the Homeland Security Department said in a new warning... there is no specific or credible intelligence to indicate U.S. transit systems are being targeted, and he described the notice, sent Tuesday, as a routine reminder

And don't forget to send flowers on Mother's Day. It's a week from this coming Sunday. Another routine reminder, brought to you by FREEwilliamsburg.com.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There's a new fad sweeping Providence, Rhode Island. And boy is it retarded. We're just hoping it doesn't make its way to New York. Click here for video. [Via Gawker]

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Via Pitchfork

American V: A Hundred Highways, culled from sessions Cash was in the process of recording with producer Rick Rubin before his death in 2003, will be released on July 4 through American Recordings on Lost Highway Records. While this release has the distinction of being the last album of new material Cash ever produced, the upcoming May 23 Columbia/Legacy release Personal File, also shares the pedigree of unreleased original material.

Selected from sessions various sessions recorded between 1973 and 1982 at his House of Cash studio in Hendersonville, Tennessee, Personal File contains stripped-down, solo acoustic recordings that foreshadowed the raw tone of his later Rick Rubin recordings. The material is intimate and sketch-like, with Cash switching between covers, gospel spirituals, and originals. The recordings were never issued by Cash, remaining untouched inside his archives until his passing.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 02:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In case you haven't seen this, it's essential. And wonderfully uncomfortable to watch.
[via Democratic Underground]

Video 1 | Video 2

Best (and most uncomfortable) line:

"I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 12:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Wholphin 1

Eggers has already conquered the hipster literati world. Now he's moving on to DVDs. Next step, the moon. Wholphin 2 is set for release. The name is derived from combining the words whale and dolphin. Dorky names notwithstanding, this actually sounds pretty cool. From Wholpin's Press Release:

MCSWEENEY'S 2nd ISSUE OF WHOLPHIN: DVD Magazine of Unseen Things

Steven Soderbergh, Errol Morris, John Dolan, Andrew Jay Cohen and others contribute to anticipated second issue. BONUS: The Power of Nightmares- "The film US TV Networks dare not show"

Celebrated publishing house McSweeney's Press is on the verge of releasing a second issue to the critically acclaimed DVD Magazine, Wholphin. The first issue, a complimentary issue for McSweeney's subscribers bundled in The Believer and McSweeney's Quarterly, caught national acclaim from esteemed publications for its short films, namely the Spike Jonze documentary that gave the US people an outlook into the softer and more human side of Al Gore around the 2000 election....

The content runs the gambit from a Japanese version of Bewitched dubbed by the hilarious Daily Show writers Rich Blomquist, Scott Jacobson and Jason Reich (Okusama Wa Maju), a film by Andrew Jay Cohen with Martin Starr called American Storage, an Oscar-nominated claymation short that question the age old question "What do we compromise of ourselves by trying to achieve a greater vision for humanity? called More, even Donald Trump makes an appearance narrating an aborted film by Errol Morris called The Movie Movie based on the premise "Isn't it possible that in an alternative universe Donald Trump actually started in Citizen Kane?" But Wholphin No. 2 does not stop there. An endearing look at human expression by simply placing a powerful sour gobstopper in their mouths, Sour Death Balls, and an unaired TV pilot called The Pity Card, by the co-creator of the hilarious Mr. Show...

However, the most powerful of releases in this issue is the bonus 1st of 3 installments of the film, The Power of Nightmares, directed by Adam Curtis. In this extravagantly provocative film, arguably the most important and most timely documentaries of the last several years, the film focuses itself on today's most endlessly debated subject parallel to the US's current War on Terror. Ultimately, this film traces a parallel history of two seemingly disparate movements: Middle Eastern Islamic Fundamentalism vs. American Neo-conservatism. This film has not been able to find a way to expose itself to the American public as it has been turned down by TV networks, shut off at film festivals, and has shown fleeting presence on the internet.

Click here for more info.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 12:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

... but they're beginning to sound kind of tired. Scenestars has the new Ryan Adams/Willie Nelson gap ad. Watch it. Mock it. Buy a vest and some jeans.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

"This Bird Has Absolutely No Face" by John Lurie

We paid a visit to the John Lurie opening at PS1 yesterday. (You may remember Lurie from Stranger Than Paradise or Fishing With John). His new art show is not to be missed. Yesterday, Willem Dafoe, Steve Bushemi, John Malkovitch, John Ventimiglia, and many more celebs all showed up to toast John's new show. Prints will soon be available on his website. We'll be picking up a few. Lurie is the rare artist who manages to merge a beautiful aesthetic with a laugh-out-loud sense of humor. Check out his new work at PS1. [Incidentally, Lurie is HUGE in Russia, though we're still not sure why.]

We attended the event with Cakehead, who has an hilarious musing on cubed cheese, the standard (but puzzling) fare found at every art opening.

"Dog Is Blind. Who Will Help?" by John Lurie

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)