Some fundamentalist loon is trying to initiate a boycott of our new book. Pro-Jesus, the "home of the pro-active, pro-freedom, pro-family, pro-Christian boycott" claims our book is "WAY out of bounds" and "strikes beneath the belt." Guess they've never heard of free speech. We don't know if we should be honored or deeply distraught. Enter pro-jesus at your own risk.
Your kids won't get raptured if Jesus returns and they're wearing Harry Potter or SpongeBob PJs. Make the righteous choice and put them to bed in Army of God PJs. They're just what every kid wants. And just in time for Christmas. From the website:
The whole Armor of God Pajama set will help your children to depend on God to protect them from their fears, doubts, and uncertainties at night so their sleep can be restful and peaceful.
Related:
Prayer Warrior Toys!
The Wacky Packages of Christian T-Shirts
Because Fox presents real news. And without the spin.
From Think Progress
Today on Fox News, Neil Cavuto devoted much of his show’s coverage to the one year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. To give the real picture of what’s going on, Cavuto brought in two “experts” on back-to-back segments -- exercise guru Richard Simmons and boxing promoter Don King:
On a related note, Fox News' Ratings Take a Nosedive.
From Raw Story:
The announcement is due to arrive at 4:30 PM, outside of Verizon headquarters in New York, RAW STORY has confirmed.The subpoenas come on the heels of two federal court decisions that were seen as blows to the Bush Administration warrantless spying program...
Mayer explained that the subpoena seeks to learn "whether the Bush administration has unlawfully targeted journalists, peace activists, libertarians, members of congress or generated an 'enemies list.'" READ IT ALL
Mika Miko - "C.Y.S.L.A.B.F."
(Kill Rock Stars)
Download: Capricorinations (MP3)
Since 1991, Olympia, WA-based label Kill Rock Stars has been a proud promoter of kick-ass feminist punk music. At the time of its founding, the label released some of the most influential recordings of the riot girl movement. That youthful, idealistic spirit is recaptured on "C.Y.S.L.A.B.F.", the debut full-length by the label's most recent all-girl signing Mika Miko.
The group, a thrashy five-piece from Los Angeles, have a sound somewhat akin to early eighties hardcore. Given the current climate of trendy, mop-haired emoism, their classic one-two-three-go approach is rather refreshing. Plus, the group eschews the cheerleading, anthemic approach so relentlessly driven home by their now-defunct labelmates Bratmobile and Bikini Kill.
Cranked guitars and propulsive rhythms combine in alternately punky and funky ways. And dynamic dual vocals -- one brash, one raspy—add just the right amount of complexity to their slightly simplistic ruckus, as do impressive bass and guitar licks whose melodies complimentarily collide up and down the scale.
The band adds an organ here and there too, as on "Take Hold" and "Capricorination" -- perhaps their catchiest songs. But the instrument is too often buried in the mix to make much of a difference overall. Mika Miko have a righteous, raw punk sound that really shines, but it could stand to sparkle more.
"C.Y.S.L.A.B.F." suffers from a minor case of stiffness and grows stale too soon over the course of the disc's twenty minutes, yet a number of their songs are simply too infectious to ignore.
Catch Mika Miko with their Kill Rock Stars labelmates Erase Errata and The Gossip when their girl-powered tour van touches down at Irving Plaza in New York City on September 13.
Paper Rad - "Trash Talking"
(Load)
Paper Rad is a Pittsburgh, PA/Northampton, MA collective that first gained notice for its irregularly published, multi-colored comic-based newspapers. The Paper Rad artists specialized in surrealist sketches and absurdist non-stories and I never missed a chance to grab an issue when I stumbled upon one.
I usually found them at shows providing merch money for their touring musician friends, or sometimes they would show up mysteriously at my local record or bookshop. For a mere dollar I would walk away alternately psyched and hesitant about what I would find when I opened it up.
Paper Rad is likely still involved in print media, but the artist collective has recently morphed into an animation and video group, applying their twisted talents towards the moving image—and the transformation has proved surprising effortless. Their very original, colorful, and slightly disturbing visions and confusing tales still excite.
Perhaps the only difference between their print and video art is the later appropriates popular culture on a grander scale. Its visual references tease your memory bank while its vibrant, clashing colors dilate your pupils. Their video art is also arguably less shocking, but Paper Rad hasn't gone soft, just pixilated.
"Trash Talking" will subversively extend your capacity for visual stimulation. Don't sleep on this one.
— John Rickman
This is hilarious. Watch it here via Crooks & Liars.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of Katrina. We've been in Iraq nearly 5 years. Gas prices continue to soar while corporate big wigs cash in. The Middle East is a terrifying mess. There's no sign of Osama. Meanwhile, Dubya is on vacation. Have you had enough of lapdogs like Kline? [Hat Tip Atrios]
Summer is almost over and we've yet to take a vacation, so we're officially signing off for a week. In the meantime, [*shameless plug coming*] go buy an advance copy of our new book, while we luxuriate in a champagne glass hot tub in the glorious Pocono's.
Advance press for our new book, The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right:
"Like all great satire, the book is cerebral, irreverent and hilarious, while also edifying"
— Publisher's Weekly
"Not only is this an important
book, it's a funny book."
— Marc Maron, Air America Radio
"This book should lay at the lifeless feet of your corpse as a silent, yet powerful and all encompassing explanation as to why you took your own life."
— David Cross, Arrested Development
Archie Bell, best known for the '60s soul hit "Tighten Up"
On Friday August 18
From Flavorpill
River to River presents the New York Dolls—FREE
when: Fri 8.18 (7pm)
where: South Street Seaport (Pier 17, 212.732.7678)
details: Event Info
They may be oldsters—hell, only two of them are actually alive— but the New York Dolls are still very much kicking. Tonight, Johansen and Sylvain recruit rocking support to show the kids why they're punk-glam legends.
On Saturday August 19:
From Flavorpill
Rubulad presents Delirium Summer: A Fever Dream feat. Extra Action Marching Band and DJ $mall ¢hange
when: Sat 8.19 (10:30pm)
where: 3rd Ward (195 Morgan Ave, Bklyn, 718.715.4961)
price: $10
Rubulad aims for a "surfer circus" vibe with a night of disparate freaky performers, DJs, video, and food in Bushwick's expansive indoor/outdoor 3rd Ward.
On Sunday August 20:
A free concert at McCarren Park Pool
Archie Bell & Mighty Hannibal backed by The Dansettes, The Fabulous Soul Shakers, DJs: Phast Phreddie and Cosmo Baker
More info here
Califone
This promises to be an amazing show. The wildly underrated Califone is one of our favorites.
Click here for more information on tonight's show.
DOWNLOAD: Califone - Pastry Sharp (MP3) (via BrooklynVegan)
And we couldn't agree more. Well actually, we prefer the terms inane, manipulative, evil, and fucking retarded. [From the Independent via HuffPost]
John Prescott has given vent to his private feelings about the Bush presidency, summing up George Bush's administration in a single word: crap.The Deputy Prime Minister's condemnation of President Bush and his approach to the Middle East could cause a diplomatic row but it will please Labour MPs who are furious about Tony Blair's backing of the United States over the bombing of Lebanon.
The remark is said to have been made at a private meeting in Mr Prescott's Whitehall office on Tuesday with Muslim MPs and other Labour MPs with constituencies representing large Muslim communities. Muslim MPs wanted to press home their objections to British foreign policy and discuss ways of improving relations with the Muslim communities.
Some of the MPs present said yesterday they could not remember Mr Prescott making the remark. He has been at pains to avoid breaking ranks with Mr Blair in public although he is believed to have raised concern about the bombing of Lebanon at a private meeting of the Cabinet. But Harry Cohen, the MP whose constituency includes Walthamstow, scene of some of the police raids in the alleged "terror plot" investigation, said Mr Prescott had definitely used the word "crap" about the Bush administration.
"He was talking in the context of the 'road map' in the Middle East. He said he only gave support to the war on Iraq because they were promised the road map. But he said the Bush administration had been crap on that. We all laughed and he said to an official, 'Don't minute that'." Mr Cohen added: "We also had a laugh when he said old Bush is just a cowboy with his Stetson on. But then he said, 'I can hardly talk about that can I?'
read it all here
recently released prequel to Left Behind
As conflicts continue to multiply in the Middle East, Rapture-Ready evangelicals have begun to sound the Armageddon alarm. Many evangelicals, such as John Hagee and "prophet" Joel Rosenberg are advocating a preemptive strike on Iran, to help hasten the Rapture.
Our Jesusy brother evangelicalright.com has the story.
Will Farrell from Talledega Nights Pat Boone
Not content offending the musical tastes of billions worldwide, 'musician' and evangelical nutjob Pat Boone is now a regular columnist at WorldnetDaily. As blogger Ed Brayton jokes: "I guess Perry Como was busy." His columns include diverse topics such as "What is an American patriot?" (July 8) and "Are you an American patriot?" (July 1). Here are some of Pat's other highlights:
From Lay off Mel Gibson, for Christ's sake!
I know both individuals personally, Mel and Christ—and my friend Mel is no anti-Semite....Mel Gibson anti-semitic? Don't make me cry.
Gradually, people are being reminded that he's always been exceedingly ''hyper,'' possibly obsessive-compulsive, wildly energetic and driven, and he's admittedly an addictive personality. ..
[H]e deserves our empathy, the forgiveness for which he has asked abjectly, and our understanding of the all-too-human condition from which he suffers—humanness.
From The ACLU: Malignant—and growing
"Sit down, Mr. Citizen. I hate to tell you this, but I guess the best thing is just to spit it out. You've got cancer."And not just a localized cancer, but a malignant, fast-spreading strain of cancer. It's already attacked all your vital organs and is infiltrating through your circulatory system to even your outer extremities. Unless we take every action available to us and attack this disease on all fronts with the strongest possible treatments, you will surely die a painful, lingering, wasting death.[...] Well—whether we realize it or not—you and I are living right now under such a sentence, such a diabolical attack. The disease is called ACLU.
And from Please, leave marriage alone
I feel I'm watching a "reality" version of "Gulliver's Travels," in which a sleeping giant is gradually staked to the ground by little people and rendered helpless while he slumbers....I do feel we're suffering, as a nation, a moral trichinosis—that little talked-about malady that occurs when worms, gaining entry through poorly cooked pork, infiltrate a person's muscles, gradually sapping strength and weakening the body beyond recovery...
[A]s recently as the 1950s our Supreme Court acknowledged that America is a Christian nation, founded on biblical principles...
[T]he apparent necessity to codify in the Constitution that the institution of marriage is to be confined and defined as a contract between one man and one woman is, to millions of stunned Americans, a very ominous "sign of the times," if not of "the last days" described in the first chapter of Romans in the New Testament.
Anybody who hasn't read that graphic depiction of an "end time" society and still cares what the Bible says should turn there immediately and fasten his seatbelt. It reads like a Gallup poll description of life in America today.
Time to toss out that Pat Boone Christmas record. You can read all of Pat's *inspiring* columns here.
Seymour Hersh
Seymour Hersh has another essential article in this week's New Yorker. According to Hersh, the United States helped Israel devise a plan for attacking Hezbollah, before the July 12th kidnappings even occured:
The Bush Administration... was closely involved in the planning of Israel’s retaliatory attacks. President Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney were convinced, current and former intelligence and diplomatic officials told me, that a successful Israeli Air Force bombing campaign against Hezbollah’s heavily fortified underground-missile and command-and-control complexes in Lebanon could ease Israel’s security concerns and also serve as a prelude to a potential American preemptive attack to destroy Iran’s nuclear installations, some of which are also buried deep underground....[B]oth the Israeli and the U.S. governments, Israel had devised a plan for attacking Hezbollah—and shared it with Bush Administration officials—well before the July 12th kidnappings....
“The White House was more focussed on stripping Hezbollah of its missiles, because, if there was to be a military option against Iran’s nuclear facilities, it had to get rid of the weapons that Hezbollah could use in a potential retaliation at Israel. Bush wanted both. Bush was going after Iran, as part of the Axis of Evil, and its nuclear sites, and he was interested in going after Hezbollah as part of his interest in democratization, with Lebanon as one of the crown jewels of Middle East democracy.”
Read it all here.
Deerhoof to play McCarren Park on Sunday, it's FREE!
In addition to LOTS of great music this weekend at McCarren Park, SummerStage will feature live music by DJ Talvin Singh w/ Asha Puthli, Prefuse 73, DJ Spooky, and Outernational on Sunday. From Flavorpill:
The UK's Talvin Singh graces SummerStage with a DJ set to show why his tablatronic sound —which fuses cutting-edge techno and drum 'n bass styles with South Asian rhythms and melodies — made an indelible mark on the international clubscape. Indian legend Asha Puthli plays her ethereal four-octave vocals off various guests, including Gang Starr's MC Guru. Glitch-hop and post-rock musician/producer Prefuse 73 keeps fans guessing with an ever-morphing live set-up, but there's never doubt of its impact on listeners' grey matter. DJ Spooky acts as today's impresario, between curating today's lineup and dropping beats of his own. Outernational open with Latin and bhangra-bolstered agit-punk.
For info about McCarren Park, click here
For info about SummerStage, click here
Note: Anyone looking to trade Saturday night Sonic Youth tickets for Neko Case tickets (she's playing McCarren 8/24/06) please mail us at mail@freewilliamsburg.com
Image c/o NYTimes
We've gotten so many emails about McCarren Park Pool in the past several months, we've finally put together an information page. Click here for the full calendar of events as well as directions to McCarren Park. This weekend, the Pool will host lots of great music:
August 11
Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Sonic Youth with Blood on the Wall
August 12
Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Sonic Youth with Awesome Color
AUGUST 13 - FREE
Deerhoof
Beirut
Apollo Sunshine
The Harlem Shakes
DJ: Questlove
James S. Robbins (the S stands for shitbag and stupid, depending on the article)
You know, because he's a moron. [From National Review via ThinkProgress]
Personally, I don’t know what all the shouting is about. Global warming is great. Granted, maybe it isn’t really happening, and if it is there are strong reasons to doubt that humans have anything to do with it. But if the world is warming, I say “bravo.” People in most parts of the globe should have no objection to a warmer, wetter climate. If the aliens were watching they’d conclude we were making our planet more habitable on purpose.
Katrina was *great* too! And who doesn't love a little good, old fashioned, apocalyptic disaster? The National Review is typically pretty retarded if not insidious, but this takes the cake.
Tonight there will be a free showing of the classic 1971 film The French Connection at McCarren Park. The weather should be nice so check it out. It's scheduled to begin at 7pm.
Insert your own fat joke here. From NY Times.
Over the past week, boaters and bloggers have been energetically tracking a manatee in its lumbering expedition along the Atlantic Coast and up the Hudson River...The manatee has been spotted at 23rd Street near Chelsea Piers, West 125th Street, and later in Westchester County. It appeared to be healthy.
Randy Shull, a boater from Ossining, spotted the manatee about 4:30 p.m. yesterday while his 21-foot boat was floating at Kingsland Point Park in Sleepy Hollow.
“It was gigantic,” Mr. Shull said. “When we saw it surface, its back was just mammoth.”
It is unusual, but not unprecedented for manatees to travel this far north — the seaweed-munching sea creatures are commonly associated with the warm waters of Florida.
Talladega Nights
Given that, movie-wise, August is usually the January of the summer, this month's selection doesn't look all that horrible.
August 4
TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Anchorman, but with NASCAR.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good, and that's not surprising given the fact that the same team behind Anchorman reunites here. Ferrell and director Adam McKay once again share writing duties, and the supporting cast includes such Frat Pack stand-bys as Gary Cole and David Koechner and adds to them Michael Clarke Duncan, John C. Reilly, Amy Adams, Sacha Baron Cohen, Andy Richter and, of course, Elvis Costello and Mos Def (!?)
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
With audiences maxed out on CG by the time Barnyard comes out this week, there's really no other competition, and I think people miss Ferrell in form. $99mil.
-----------------------------
THE NIGHT LISTENER
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Indie thriller with Robin Williams investigating the claims of an unusual story involving a young boy and his mother (Toni Collette).
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, though critics seem to be preferring it to audiences, in an unusual twist. It seems strange, given the fact that Armistead Maupin is co-adapting his own novel here, and having it directed by The Business of Strangers helmer Patrick Stettner, but that's how it turned out. I also like Bobby Cannavale in the cast, but that's just me.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It's a nice bit of counter-programming - this feels like a fall movie. However, I don't know if that will be enough to defeat mediocre buzz, especially in wide release. $10mil.
-----------------------------
THE DESCENT
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
A group of spelunkers are terrorized by, well, let's just say bad things, man, bad things.
WILL IT SUCK?
Could end up being the best horror film of the year. Certainly the best I've seen in a while. Full review here. Don't watch the trailer!
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
If it weren't for Pulse the following week...this would still have trouble. Although the buzz is hella-good, there's just not that much market penetration. But if anyone can take a no-name horror flick and turn it into gold, Lionsgate can. The rumored Saw III trailer tie-on should help. $25mil.
-----------------------------
BARNYARD
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Oh, look. It's another CG-animated flick about rebellious animals.
WILL IT SUCK?
The other half of Santa vs. the Snowman and Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (the first half did Ant Bully the previous week - and we saw how that turned out), Steve Oedekirk, is behind this one, writing and directing. As much as I secretly enjoyed his last feature-length writing/directing gig, the terrible, terrible Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, I still don't consider that a lock.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Even though Zoom comes out the following week, the real problem comes from being the third in a series of CG-animated flicks released on consecutive weekends. I said people hate the middle child, but I think there'll be even less love for the baby. $51mil.
-----------------------------
QUINCEANERA
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Quinceañera is a ceremony celebrating a young Hispanic girl's 15th birthday. Except when her father finds out she's pregnant. Then all hell breaks loose.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good, but not as good as you'd expect for a film that won both the Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Award at Sundance.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This week? Fine. Next week it's gotta deal with Half Nelson and House of Sand. $2mil.
-----------------------------
AUGUST 11
-----------------------------
WORLD TRADE CENTER
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The true story of two police officers who were trapped in the Twin Towers on 9/11.
WILL IT SUCK?
Given the million ways this could have gone horribly wrong, I'm happy to report that the initial buzz is very, very, very good. Like, Oscar good. This is, on the surface anyway, the polar opposite of United 93. Instead of a director known for his documentary style, we have a director known for an extremely subjective POV. Instead of a no-name cast (except for Sledge Hammer!, much love) we have a cast full of recognizable faces (Nicolas Cage, Michael Pena - the unsung hero of Crash, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jay Hernandez, Maria Bello, William Mapother - okay, maybe only I know who that is, Frank Whaley, Stephen Dorff, Jude Ciccolella - think 24). I hope the early buzz is on target, not only because a bad 9/11 film would be insulting and offensive, but because after Alexander, Stone could use an artistic triumph.
Another curious thing about the early buzz is that conservatives like a Stone film. Weird, huh?
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Although the subject matter is harsh, to say the least, I think United 93 may have softened up the ground a little. I think you'll see surprisingly high numbers for a film that, under normal circumstances, would probably be released in the fall. $46mil.
-----------------------------
ZOOM
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Hey, guess what would happen if Revolution Studios decided to make Sky High? That's right. It would suck. We would have also accepted "It would really, really suck."
WILL IT SUCK?
I'll refer you to the part where it's from Revolution Studios, but if that ain't enough - director of Garfield, writers from Haunted Mansion and Mousehunt. This is what we feared Sky High would be.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I think audiences are up for something that looks fun and bad (SOAP) and not just bad. However, the Tim Allen factor is undeniable. $52mil.
-----------------------------
PULSE
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The dead are talking. And they're using cell phones. And fax machines. And washing machines. Anything with electricity, really.
WILL IT SUCK?
Very early buzz is good, but minimal. You'd figure there'd be more what with the constant delays (this was supposed to come out in March, and a few other times). The delays, though, seem to have more to do with capitalizing on star Kristen Bell's Veronica Mars Season 3 premiere than sucking. Wes Craven wrote the script with the guy who made the J-Horror flick on which this is based. Looks promising.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
SOAP will be a bit of an issue the following week, in that, tangentially at least, it's also a horror film (but that's not why anyone's going to see it). But this week it should own. $66mil.
-----------------------------
STEP UP
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Save the Last Cutting Edge Dance
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good, but there's not a lot of it. And I'm not just whistling dixie about Save the Last Dance. One of those writers is up in here. There's also a writer from Brids of Prey, so it's going to take a lot more than minimal buzz to convince me.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A lot of content for the yung'un's this weekend could make for a tough fight. But this seems to have a surprisingly high amount of anticipation and awareness given that there are no stars. Still, a Hillary Duff film the following weekend could hurt. $25mil.
-----------------------------
POSTER BOY
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Senator's son is gay. Controversy ensues.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz isn't terrible, and it snagged a Jury Award at Outfest. And remember Karen Allen? She's the mommy.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Much higher profile indies going on and second frame of pseudo-gay-themed Quinceañera doesn't necessarily help. Neither does delay from July. $500,000.
-----------------------------
HOUSE OF SAND
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Women in the desert.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Made a splash at Sundance and several other festivals. Has the female lead from Central Station and her daughter.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It's had some time to make the festival rounds and garner some buzz. Also, wisely waited three years to avoid confusion with House of Sand and Fog. $1mil.
-----------------------------
HALF NELSON
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Ryan Gosling's a public school teacher. And he's on crack. Wouldn't you be?
WILL IT SUCK?
Excellent performances in a good film. Gosling's child co-star, Shareeka Epps, is outstanding, and that's saying a lot acting next to Gosling. More here.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Trust the Man could be a bit of a problem the following week, but this week it's the highest profile indie out there. $2mil.
-----------------------------
August 18
-----------------------------
MUTHAFUCKIN' SNAKES ON A MUTHAFUCKIN' PLANE
WHAT'S THE MUTHAFUCKIN' PITCH?
Read the muthafuckin' title!
WILL IT SUCK, MUTHAFUCKA?
Does it really matter? At this point, Snakes on a Plane could prove to be the worst film in history, and it would still live up to expectations. It is now more than a movie. It is a meme. I think the first one to really reach that status before release. Blair Witch came close, but not like this. It is also the first movie title, I believe, to become a zen koan.
Pedigree-wise, I think if director David R. Ellis' last film had been called Motherfuckin' Cell Phones in Motherfuckin' Cars instead of Cellular, it would have done better. And co-writer Sebastian Gutierrez's Gothika and The Big Bounce should bring just the right amount of suck to make this worthwhile.
And if it doesn't meet your expectations? Snakes on a plane.
HOW WELL WILL THAT MUTHAFUCKA DO, MUTHAFUCKA?
It's safe to say it has no competition. There is nothing else like it on the planet. Even if people think it will suck, they will probably still see it. In fact, I think more people will come expecting it to suck than not. That is the mystery of Snakes on a Plane. It also makes coming up with a figure next to impossible. What price irony? $53mil.
-----------------------------
THE ILLUSIONIST
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Ed Norton steals Jessica Biel from Rufus Sewell. Now that's some trick. No, actually, it's not. I think the proper term is "trading up."
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, which is surprising given the pedigree here. First of all, you've got Norton, who is the man, in spite of not turning in anything earth-shattering since 2002's The 25th Hour. You've also got Paul Giamatti. The writer/director did the little-seen but very good Interview with the Assassin. But the critical response so far has been "meh." And even I have to admit based on the trailer alone, if you compare it to the other movie about turn-of-the-century European magicians coming out this year, it comes out behind. Seriously, though, I can see there being competing volcano projects or asteroid projects, but this?
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This really feels more like a fall film, and I don't care who's in the cast, I would not want to open against Snakes. $14mil.
-----------------------------
MATERIAL GIRLS
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The Simple Life in fictional movie form instead of fictional reality TV form.
WILL IT SUCK?
I know. I know. It's been forever since Hilary and Haylie have been in a movie together. I mean, like, literally. It's never happened before. And with Brent Spiner and Lukas Haas? Isn't that, like, perfect casting? I can't wait. If only they could get the writer of Aquamarine involved somehow. No. Wait. Really? Shut up. And what about that director who did Real Genius and almost nothing else you'd wanna see since? Shut! Up! I'm there.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It's not exactly tween-competition-free, but it's got the strongest cast of any of them. $17mil.
-----------------------------
ACCEPTED
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Justin Long (the Mac) inadvertently starts a university when he tries to fool his parents into thinking he's been accepted into college.
WILL IT SUCK?
So, you look at the fact that two of the three screenwriters worked on New York Minute and you think to yourself all is lost. Then you remember that there's a third writer. You think, maybe he wrote Lawrence of Arabia or something. And then you read his credentials. Herbie: Fully Loaded and The Country Bears. This could suck worse than Zoom.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Material Girls won't do it any favors, but it's a slightly different demo. Even if this does turn into the next PCU, though, PCU didn't make that much money in theaters. $15mil.
-----------------------------
TRUST THE MAN
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Two relationships. David Duchovny and Julianne Moore. Billy Crudup and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is generally positive, though not overwhelming. I'm just curious to see Billy Crudup play comic relief.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Has the lock on the best cast for indies this week. $10mil.
-----------------------------
FACTOTUM
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Matt Dillon plays a Bukowski-esque figure doing Bukowski-esque things in an adaptation of a novel by John Grisham. I mean Charles Bukowski.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is outstanding, crediting not just Dillon's performance but the film overall.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not enough awareness. IFC could potentially snowball this into Oscar talk, but that'll help DVD sales, not theatrical. $3mil.
-----------------------------
10TH AND WOLF
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Cyclops goes all mob informant to save his brother from the pen.
WILL IT SUCK?
The trailer makes a big deal out of the fact that writer/director Bobby Moresco is the guy who wrote Crash and the whole time I'm thinking "didn't Paul Haggis write that?" Well, we're both right. Anyhoo, an interesting cast, leading to my favorite moment in the trailer when they're tallying off the supporting cast "Brian Dennehy, Brad Renfro, Tommy Lee" (sound of record scratching). Whaa!?! And he looks terrible, which is to be expected, and then when you see Val Kilmer, he looks even worse.
Frankly, I think it's a tired genre and even the promise of more of that Crash-errific dialogue (which wasn't perfect) isn't enough to lure me, nor is the prospect of seeing Giovanni Ribisi play "hard." Nor is the fact that this is based on a true story from the real life Donnie Brasco (you mean there's shit they left out of that movie?) that took place in my very own Philly. And no, I have no clue where 10th and Wolf is.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not really on anyone's radar. $2mil.
-----------------------------
July 25
-----------------------------
INVINCIBLE
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Another true story based in Philly, this one about a Philadelphia Eagles fan (Mark Wahlberg) who becomes a Philadelphia Eagle.
WILL IT SUCK?
Although this comes from the same studio that did Remember the Titans and The Rookie and a host of other sports films, neither the writer nor the director had anything to do with those films. They also had nothing to do with Like Mike, so their sports flick pedigree is a blank slate. So, really, this film has more in common with Rock Star than anything else, but I won't hold that against it.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Although baller flick Crossover comes out the next week, I don't consider it much competition sports-genre-wise, or cast-wise. And Wahlberg's a pretty consistent opener. $65mil.
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IDLEWILD
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Andre 3000 and Big Boi fight off gangsters. And it's a musical.
WILL IT SUCK?
This could be a 90-minute Outkast video (and given that it's written and directed by the guy who made the "Hey Ya" video, that seems likely) and it would still be entertaining. Oh, and Terence Howard is up in here, too.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
90-minute long music videos do not make good box office. $15mil.
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BEERFEST
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
From the guys who brought you Super Troopers comes a bunch of guys drinking beer competitively.
WILL IT SUCK?
I understand there's a lot of love out there for Super Troopers, so, let's say, no. I have to admit, the trailer made me chuckle in spite of myself.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Has this week to itself, but Accepted the week before and Idiocracy the week after hedge it in with more stupid comedy (not to mention Snakes on a Plane). $18mil.
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THE PROTECTOR
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The only difference between this and Ong Bak is that Tony Jaa is trying to get back two elephants instead of one giant head.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed but, dude, I had a pretty good time watching him get that head back, and it's basically the same team on this deal.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Tony Jaa is not ready for wide release. $5mil.
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HOW TO EAT FRIED WORMS
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Based on the popular children's novel. If you haven't read it, it involves eating fried worms.
WILL IT SUCK?
Well, it's from the writer of The Banger Sisters, so I'm not sold. But hey, anything that gives Tom Cavanaugh work.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
You've got Lassie the following week but a bunch of parents who grew up on the book and may want their kids to see it, but that's kind of a big if. $19mil.
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THE QUIET
WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Deaf girl moves in with a seriously fucked up family.
WILL IT SUCK?
Reviews here are pretty mixed. You've got But I'm a Cheerleader writer/director (here only directing) Jamie Babbit calling the shots only with less of the ha-ha and more of the okay-you're-creeping-me-out.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The trailer, which you should avoid since it seems pretty spoiler-happy, hints at some pseudo-lesbian shit involving Elisha Cuthbert's character which, if frat boys watched art house movie trailers, would turn this into the next Wild Things. $6mil.
Next month: Sean Penn and Jet Li do what they do best. Just not in the same movie.
Former Survivor star and host of The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck freaked the fuck out this morning discussing the morning-after pill. Evidently, taking the pill is a sin, even if your dad rapes you. Hasselbeck delivered a primetime speech at the 2004 Republican National Convention, which, of course, is the true sin. [via Gawker]
Larry Kudlow: Prioritizing The Cost Of War For The National Review
Greed and callousness at its worse [from the National Review]
At the close of business last Friday — after another violent week in the Middle East — Bloomberg chronicled the impressive performance of world stock markets: U.S. share prices had their best gain since November 2004...The wartime stock market is saying that things might be better than most people believe.
Think of it: On the world stage, there is more capitalism, free trade, and economic interconnectiveness ... than ever before. Because of this, literally hundreds of millions of share-owning investors are voting daily on the great issues of war, peace, prosperity, and hope for the future. And their vote is optimistic...
If freedom, democracy, individual liberty, and economic liberalization are all vital cornerstones of the successful City on the Hill experiment that is the United States, campaigns such as Israel’s only mark an expansion of this freedom. Israel may be a relatively small hill in global terms, but the battle it is waging is incalculably large on the world stage. As Israel inflicts more punishment on Hezbollah, the more Syria and Iran will have their Axis of Evil ears pinned back. This is a huge positive step for democracy and a big potential defeat for totalitarianism. Does the global investor class get it? How could it not?
For a long two weeks Israel and Hezbollah have been going at it hard, and world stock markets have chosen to climb. The backward-looking media pessimists won’t see this, but the real world, real money votes of the global investor class should be noted and digested by all the rest of us. Indeed, I believe world investors are thankful for Israel’s courageous efforts in the cause of freedom, independence, security, and hope for the future.
Of course, the stakes are very high in this game. But that is exactly why global investors are cheering Israel’s advance.
Two words: Unbelievable. Disgusting.
Since the Bush administration lets big business and the book of Revelation formulate their environmental policy, it's comic (if not a little sad) that climate initiatives have to be spearheaded behind their back:
[From Washington Post]
Twenty-two of the world's largest cities announced yesterday that they will work together to limit their contributions to global warming in an effort led by former president Bill Clinton.The Clinton Climate Initiative -- which will create an international consortium to bargain for cheaper energy-efficient products and share ideas on cutting greenhouse gas pollution -- includes Chicago, Los Angeles, Philadelphia and New York as well as Cairo, Delhi, London and Mexico City. While the group is not setting specific targets for reducing emissions, Clinton said he is confident the effort will both cut pollution and create jobs in the cities that contribute most to higher temperatures.
"It no longer makes sense for us to debate whether or not the Earth is warming at an alarming rate, and it doesn't make sense for us to sit back and wait for others to act," Clinton said, speaking at a Los Angeles news conference with Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (D) and London and San Francisco city leaders. "The fate of the planet that our children and grandchildren will inherit is in our hands, and it is our responsibility to do something about this crisis."
The endeavor comes on the heels of Monday's announcement by California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) that he will work with British Prime Minister Tony Blair to trade carbon dioxide emissions and share clean-energy technology. [read it all]
RBally is feeling generous again. He's posted a great—largely accoustic—live show by Beck. Don't miss the Nelly cover, "Hot on Herre." Download the show here.
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