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September 29, 2006

To Do: Critical Mass Meets Agora, Turntables on the Hudson, and the NY-Tokyo Music Festival

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Talib Kweli to perform at the NY-Tokyo Music Festival

On Friday: Critical Mass Meets Agora

Tonight - art and political action meet in McCarren Park Pool - The Agora II performance invites Critical Mass Cyclists to ride through the dance performance that reopened McCarren Park to the public. A visual and emotional moment : hundreds of bycicle riders add to the spectacle in the abandonned McCarren park pool. Agora II by site-specific choreographer Noemie Lafrance include 75 performers and invites the audience as players into a choreographic game for 1000 bodies. MORE INFO HERE

Also on Friday: Turntables on the Hudson

From FREENYC: The Turntables on the Hudson crew close out summer with a free event on the pier this evening. Nickodemus & Mariano will spin the best funky dance records you've ever heard (for real) while Nappy G & Christian Rogers join in on percussion. If you've slept on their usual Friday party all summer then this is a great chance to catch them outdoors before the weather turns. Directions below. MORE INFO HERE

On Saturday: NY-Tokyo Music Festival

via Flavorpill: Today's New York-Tokyo Music Festival lineup showcases the dazzling talent that's emerged from decades of Godzilla-like mutations of Western styles. Prog-jazz quintet Pe'z climbed Japan's indie charts with attention garnered from wild sets on the streets of Shibuya; electronic duo Hifana aren't your average knob twiddlers, dropping live beats sans sequencers and merging a modern aesthetic with traditional sounds; and four-time World Clash champs Mighty Crown legitimize Japanese dreadheads with 15 strong years in dancehall and reggae. Backpacker hero Talib Kweli and turntablist A-Trak might be the least exciting acts on this bill -- but maybe it's our turn to learn. MORE INFO HERE

And All Weekend: The 44th New York Film Festival

L Train Shut Down Due To Illness And "Suspicious Package"

From Market Watch

The New York City Fire Department (FDNY) said it was on the scene at a subway station in Brooklyn, NY after receiving reports of people feeling ill on the subway.

"We've had reports of people ill," said FDNY spokesman Tony Sclafani. "We're on the scene," he added.
Local news channel NY1 said there were also reports of a "suspicious package" being investigated.

The Lorimer Street station in Brooklyn was closed and that the L train line of the New York subway system, which links Brooklyn to Manhattan, has been suspended.

CBS News reported that "some kind of substance in the last car" of an L train had caused "several people to complain of nausea and dizziness."


Gothamist hears it could have been pepper spray.

And We Thought This Only Happened In Bugs Bunny Cartoons

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From the Daily Mail

Sickening 'Animal Olympics' forces kangaroos to box humans
An Australian kangaroo receives a fierce blow to the head by a man dressed in a clown suit (pictured below) in a shameful contest that will further fuel fears over China's barbaric attitude to animals.

The bizarre marsupial-versus-human bout happened during the so-called Animal Olympics in Shanghai.

Animal rights campaigners say the Chinese have an appalling poor record for animal rights protection and have no laws to protect them.

In the fight, the Australian kangaroo appears to reel backwards after receiving a right hook from its garishly attired opponent. READ IT ALL

September 28, 2006

Music Reviews: Vampire Can't, Child Abuse & Miracle of Birth

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Vampire Can't - "Key Cutter"
(Load)

Worried about the impending apocalypse? Me too. But don't let that stop you from enjoying the coming attractions. When the bombs start dropping, the power cuts out, and my face begins to drip into my lap, I'll be unfazed having already been exposed to Vampire Can't's debut full-length "Key Cutter".

The debut collaboration between guitar and drums duo Vampire Belt and electronic eclectoid Jessica Rylan a.k.a. Can't, is an exercise in mounting tension in 10 movements. The creepy sonic environments these three northeastern improvisers create hover ominously and tremor with trepidation.

Rylan's home-built electronics squelch and squeal surreptitiously alongside guitarist Bill Nace's six-string scraping. United in feedback, the pair provides the perfect backdrop for Chris Corsano to complete the circle of chaos. Corsano tops off the stewing electro-sludge with rhythms that slowly simmer and keep things bubbling.

Alas, the trio's music rarely boils over, but their stripped-down, free-spazz is intensely focused and deftly executed.


Child Abuse / Miracle of Birth - Split CD
(Lovepump United)

I made a point to track this release down after first hearing Brooklyn trio Child Abuse on a split 7" single with Octis (Mick Barr of Orthrelm). Their thumping, keyboard-heavy out-punk blew my mind and left me in need of more psychological trauma.

The group's unclassifiable clamor -- a mish mosh of hardcore, death metal, prog-rock, and jazz -- is impressive and slightly intimidating but also somewhat comical as their taste for silly synth sounds reveals.

Both "Pre-emptive Priapism" and "Grey Lump" sound like themes from an imaginary giant monster film: distinctly hummable but bewildering and bombastic. "Kalahari" and "God's Lightning" are more or less Locust-esque thrash tunes, but are no less astounding.

But I have to say Miracle of Birth is the cake taker of the split. The sole musical project of one Jade Larson, Miracle of Birth has again left me desperate for more music, as his contributions are merely twofold.

"Thirst for Hunger", the split disc's opening number, is an infectious, futuristic tune that sprints forward with rollicking drums, fuzzed-out guitar, and sharp-edged synths. But just before the word 'awesome' can leave your lips, the song segues into a Jungle Book jam replete with psychedelic marimbas. The second track is equally surprising. This release belongs at the top of your shopping list.

John Rickman

Do the Bobble Thing

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Our friendly neighborhood Film Critic, Dave Thomas, just submitted a hilarious short film to Current TV. You can vote on it here. Now go give him a green light.

September 27, 2006

They Smell a Borat? Kazakhstan Takes Out 4-Page Ad Section in 'NYT'

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This is funny.

Stream the Decemberists New Record "The Crane Wife"

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Check it out here. Via Brooklyn Vegan

Yo La Tengo MP3s

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RBally has a great Yo La Tengo concert available for download: Maxwell's, Hanukkah 2005 (Night 3)

The band's new record "I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass" is getting stellar reviews. Here's 2 tracks available for download from the record:

Pass the Hatchet, I Think I'm Goodkind
Beanbag Chair

September 26, 2006

Osama Levitra

Via The Consumerist, hat tip Noah.

September 25, 2006

New Tom Waits MP3

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Download Bottom of the World here.

And here's some info about Tom Waits' Orphans: [From Anti]

Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards is a wide-ranging collection of 54 songs - including 30 new recordings – equaling over three hours of rare and never-before heard music. The set comes complete with a 94-page booklet.

Each of the three CDs is separately grouped and sub-titled -- ‘Brawlers’, ‘Bawlers’ and ‘Bastards’ – to capture the full spectrum of Waits’ ranging and roving musical styles. ‘Brawlers’ is chock full of raucous blues and full-throated juke joint stomp; ‘Bawlers’ comprises Celtic and country ballads, waltzes, lullabies, piano and classic lyrical Waits’ songs while ‘Bastards’ is filled with experimental music and strange tales.

Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards (Anti Records) is Waits’ first release since 2004’s much-lauded Real Gone. The album was written and produced by Waits with his wife and long-time collaborator Kathleen Brennan and is released on Tuesday 21th November 2006.

Hat tip BrooklynVegan

Bush's Own Church Has Called For The Withdrawal Of Troops From Iraq

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Our Jesusy brother site, The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right has the story.

September 22, 2006

To Do: Agora & Alvo Noto

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From Agora 1, image c/o Gothamist

Following several rainy weekends, it looks like we might actually have a clear evening tonight, so we recommend checking out Agora 2 at McCarren Park:

Inspired by the "agora," the center of town or marketplace in ancient Greece, AGORA II investigates the role of public space in contemporary urban life. Performed beyond the theater walls, this work challenges the interactionss between public space, performance and audience. AGORA II is a continuation of the site-specific piece AGORA originally created and directed by Noémie Lafrance in 2005 in the abandoned McCarren Park pool in Brooklyn. It further explores treatments of the pool site combined with ideas of collectivity. Expressed as one large breath, AGORA II layers strokes of audience interactions around a core group of characters and cameo appearances by guest artists, creating a grand tableau - a city slice - a social experiment... MORE INFO HERE

And on Saturday, alva noto, (also known as Carsten Nicolai and xerrox) performs at The Kitchen

In conjunction with the exhibition Invisible Geographies: New Sound Art from Germany, Berlin-based artist Carsten Nicolai, whose minimalist, post-techno music is released under the name alva noto, presents the United States premiere of his latest live solo work for laptop and video. Using a range of quotidian audio and visual sources, including Muzak, melodies from TV advertisements, and elevator bell tones, Nicolai submits this material to a series of compressions, multiplications, scale changes, and shifts in resolution that gradually progress into digital noise and visual abstraction. MORE INFO HERE

When The Going Gets Tough, Turd Blossom Gets Slimy

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From Raw Story:

Conservative websites claim Rove has been promising GOP insiders an 'October surprise'

According to two conservative websites, White House political strategist Karl Rove has been promising GOP insiders that there will be an "October surprise" before the midterm elections.

"In the past week, Karl Rove has been promising Republican insiders an 'October surprise' to help win the November congressional elections," reports Ronald Kessler for Newsmax.

"President Bush's political strategist is also saying that the final two weeks before the elections will see a blitz of advertising, and the Republican National Committee is deploying an army of volunteers to key locations to help the grass-roots effort and monitor the election," the article continues. "The RNC is offering to fly in volunteers and cover their expenses."

A few weeks ago, another conservative publication, The American Spectator, reported that White House staffers had "been talking up the possibilities of an 'October Surprise' or two leading into the mid-term elections."

"They say the President feels confident he can still play a role in the election, that he intends to campaign hard for Republicans, and that on the policy front, there are a couple of issues that can be used as wedges along the way," according to a column written by "The Prowler."

Excerpts from Newsmax article:

Rove is not saying what the October surprise will be. Asked if he would elaborate and give his thinking about the coming elections, Rove told NewsMax that his take largely parallels what RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman said in a Sept. 5 NewsMax story.

As for the October Surprise, Rove said, "I'd rather let the balance [of plans for the elections] unroll on its own."

September 21, 2006

Why Mommy Is A Democrat

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This is hilarious. [Via Gawker]

September 20, 2006

The New York Times Sounds Off On Cat Power, Oprah Style

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Today's NY Times has a story on Cat Power's battle with addiction. Here's a sample:

About two weeks before [the release of The Greatest] in January, Ms. Marshall said, she lost her mind: “I was looking at death. I wanted to die.” Holed up in her Miami apartment for seven days, she turned off the phone, played Miles Davis on repeat, stopped eating and sleeping. She drank to oblivion and prayed to die.

Susanna Vapnek, a painter, came over to check on her friend. Ms. Marshall was acting bizarrely, obsessively chasing “bad spirits” around her apartment with a lighter and sage. Ms. Vapnek bathed her and stayed by her side. Eight hours later she took Ms. Marshall to Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami, where she was admitted.

Confined for psychiatric treatment, Ms. Marshall recalled refusing to bathe, hiding from her reflection and wanting to be drunk. “I asked God, I said, I’m tired, I can’t do this,” she said. “I was asking him to just take me.” She was terrified by the other patients who screamed at night and were comatose during the day.

After seven days in the hospital she was allowed to leave. “It was like I was in glue,” she said of the heavy doses of lithium given her.

Most bizarrely, Cat Power says she wants to "join the cast of 'Saturday Night Live' next summer." We love Chan's music, but can't imagine that starring in wacky skits about manic depression with Horation Sanz is a good career move.

Even The Tools At Fox News Are Talking About Voter Fraud

Read more about the Princeton/Diebold Vote-Reversal story here. [Thanks MQ]

September 19, 2006

Canadian falsely tortured by the US as extremist, inquiry finds

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The innocent man who was tortured with your tax dollars

Meanwhile, the tools on Capitol Hill want to rewrite the Geneva Conventions. From the Washington Post

Canadian intelligence officials passed false warnings and bad information to American agents about a Muslim Canadian citizen, after which U.S. authorities secretly whisked him to Syria, where he was tortured, a judicial report found Monday.

The report, released in Ottawa, was the result of a 2 1/2-year inquiry that represented one of the first public investigations into mistakes made as part of the United States' "extraordinary rendition" program, which has secretly spirited suspects to foreign countries for interrogation by often brutal methods.

The inquiry, which focused on the Canadian intelligence services, found that agents who were under pressure to find terrorists after the Sept. 11 attacks falsely labeled an Ottawa computer consultant, Maher Arar, as a dangerous radical. They asked U.S. authorities to put him and his wife, a university economist, on a "watch list" for Al Qaeda, without justification, the report said.

Arar was also listed as "an Islamic extremist individual" who was in the Washington area on Sept. 11. The report concluded that he had no involvement in Islamic extremism and was on business in San Diego that day, said the head of the inquiry commission, Ontario Justice Dennis O'Connor.

Arar, 36, was detained by U.S. authorities as he changed planes in New York on Sept. 26, 2002. He was held for questioning for 12 days, then flown by jet to Jordan and driven to Syria.

He was beaten, forced to confess to having trained in Afghanistan--where he has never been--and then kept in a coffin-size dungeon for 10 months before he was released, the Canadian commission found.

Arar, who has two children, created an outrage in Canada after he returned in 2003.

O'Connor concluded "categorically there is no evidence" that Arar did anything wrong or was a security threat.

Sick of the Overpriced New York Real Estate Market?

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Then why not invest in a lovely house in Oregon's newest planned community, The Shire:

All the homes in The Shire are facing the fully landscaped common areas... Walk along the curving pathways to discover scene after scene of interestingly integrated garden features within the lands of the hobbits: waterfalls tressing, streams meandering, garden statues, ponds, lush grasses, towering pines, twisted juniper. Sing in your own amphitheater, discover the homes of the orginal Shire residents embedded in the hillside. At home in The Shire......Connect with Nature......Smile at your neightbor and feel at peace in this village community, in this sanctuary, in this Place of Enchantment!

No, this isn't a joke. We only wish it were. But if you think about it, The Shire isn't that much stranger than Ave Maria or Park Slope. [Thanks MQ]

September 18, 2006

Monday Morning Music: Spoon & Otis Redding

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The always-generous RBally has two essential live shows posted for download.

Check out Spoon at Blueberry Hill's Duck Room, 2004: here
and
Otis Redding at the Whiskey A Go-Go, 1966: here

September 15, 2006

To Do: W-burg Gallery Hop, Brooklyn Book Festival, And Agora

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The wonderful Jennifer Egan will be at the Brooklyn Book festival

TONIGHT
Williamsburg Celebrates: Fall Forward
FREE
when: Fri 9.15 (until 10pm)

[From Flavorpill] Williamsburg galleries stay open late tonight and get festive to usher in the fall art season. Jack the Pelican presents a night of outlandish performances including Bill Etra, co-founder of the Kitchen, reading his ferret-themed poetry; Black and White Gallery hosts a vodka tasting to promote the opening of Konstantinos Stamatiou's multimedia installation of an all-white, mobile bunker (AIRBOX II) and Roberley Bell's at Play, an outdoor series of blob sculptures; Momenta Art's The Unhumane Society explores and transgresses the human/animal boundary; and feral impulses fully take over when Dallas performance artist Randall Garrett and his Uncle Remus' La Supreme Discoteca y Youth Explosion Jamboree play the afterparty at Supreme Trading.

Myopenbar.com has a good listing of places to drink if you're gallery hopping.

SATURDAY:
Brooklyn Book Festival
FREE
when: Sat 9.16 (10am-6pm)
where: Brooklyn Borough Hall and Plaza

[From Flavorpill] Ever wonder what Jonathan Ames' alcoholic, self-indulgent Alan Blair and his cohort/butler Jeeves have in common with Gary Shteyngart's Russian debutantes? It's not vodka; it's Brooklyn. While their characters hail from all over the globe, the authors featured in this festival have each resided in the county of Kings. So whether or not your tree grows there too, check out panel discussions with topics ranging from hip-hop as literature (with Touré) to Jennifer Egan and Jonathan Lethem's muses, and performances that include a crew of promising young slam poets and Brooklyn Noir editor Tim McLoughlin. MORE INFO

SATURDAY NIGHT

If the rain ever stops, which forecasters say it may Saturday afternoon, check out Agora at McCarren Park

September 14, 2006

Tucker Carlson Is The First To Be Booted Off Dancing With The Stars

And we didn't even know the bow tie-wearing tool was a star. [via Wonkette]

Related: Tucker cuts a rug

September 13, 2006

It's a Party: Get To Know Dubya's Base

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Join us at Greenpoint Reformed Church for:
A reading, book signing, and Q&A with The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right author, Robert Lanham:

With free, old-timey Baptist snacks and not-so-Baptist drinks specials

6pm-7pm: Free snacks and fellowship in a wholesome, Christian environment.

7pm: Hipster Handbook author, Robert Lanham, reads from his new book:
The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right

With a special introduction by pastor Ann Kansfield; an openly gay minister whose denomination published literature labeling her a "dyke" before firing her father from his post at the Reformed Church of America for supporting her decision.

And at 8:15 pm: Join us at The Pencil Factory for the after party with
Three Dollar Brooklyn Beers And Well Drinks All Night!


Directions and details here.

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Bush to hold talks with Kazakhstan on Borat

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This is hilarious [From ThisIsLondon]:

US President George Bush is to host White House talks on British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.

Cohen, 35, creator of Ali G, has infuriated the Kazakhstan government with his portrayal of Borat, a bumbling Kazakh TV presenter.

And now a movie of Borat's adventures in the US has caused a diplomatic incident.

The opening scene, which shows Borat lustily kissing his sister goodbye and setting off for America in a car pulled by a horse, had audiences in stitches when it was first shown last week.

But the film, which has just premiered at the Toronto Film Festival, has prompted a swift reaction from the Kazakhstan government, which is launching a PR blitz in the States.

Kazakhstan president Nursultan Nazarbayev is to fly to the US to meet President Bush in the coming weeks and on the agenda will be his country's image.

President Nazarbayev has confirmed his government will buy "educational" TV spots and print advertisements about the "real Kazakhstan" in a bid to save the country's reputation before the film is released in the US in November.

President Nazarbayev will visit the White House and the Bush family compound in Maine when he flies in for talks that will include the fictional character Borat.

But a spokesman for the Kazakhstan Embassy says it is unlikely that President Nazarbayev will find the film funny.

Roman Vassilenko said: "The Government has expressed its displeasure about Borat's representation of our country.

"Our opinion of the character has not changed.

"We understand that the film exposes the hypocrisy that exists both here in the USA and in the UK and understand that Mr Cohen has a right to freedom of speech.

"Nursultan Nazarbayev has taken Mr Bush up on an invitation to visit this country to help build our relationship with the USA.

"I cannot speak for the president himself, only for the government, but I certainly don't think President Nazarbayev and Mr Bush will share a joke about the film.

"The bottom line is we want people to know that he does not represent the true people of Kazakhstan."

The Kazakh government has previously threatened Baron-Cohen with legal action, for allowing Borat to, among other things, make fun of his homeland, demean women, slander gypsies and urge listeners to "Throw the Jew Down the Well."

Anti-Borat hard-liners have pulled the plug on borat.kz, Borat's Kazakhstan-based Website after his frequent displays of anti-Semitism and his portrayal of Kazakh culture.

Nurlan Isin, President of the Association of Kazakh IT Companies took the action after complaints.

He said: "We've done this so he can't badmouth Kazakhstan under the .kz domain name.

"He can go and do whatever he wants at other domains."

The row originally erupted in November 2005, following Borat's hosting of the MTV Europe Music Awards in Lisbon.

The Kazakh Foreign Ministry was furious over Cohen's bad taste representation of the nation.

'No such thing as bad publicity'

Foreign Ministry spokesman Yerzhan Ashykbayev told a news conference: "We view Mr. Cohen's behaviour at the MTV Europe Music Awards as utterly unacceptable, being a concoction of bad taste and ill manners which is completely incompatible with the ethics and civilized behaviour of Kazakhstan's people.

"We reserve the right to any legal action to prevent new pranks of the kind."

Baron Cohen responded to Ashykbayev in character by posting a video on the Official Borat website.

In the video, Borat said, "In response to Mr. Ashykbayev's comments, I'd like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my Government's decision to sue this Jew.

"Since the 2003 Tuleyakiv reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world.

"Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats, and age of consent has been raised to eight years old."

His blatant outpouring then prompted the Kazakh government to hire two public relations firms to counter the claims, and ran a four-page advertisement in The New York Times.

The ad carried testimonials about the nation's democracy, education system and the power and influence enjoyed by women. News of President Nazarbayev's upcoming visit has prompted experts to study the character's impact on US culture.

Sean R. Roberts, Central Asian Affairs Fellow at Georgetown University, has been studying the phenomenon.

He said: "I have found that more Americans are aware of Kazakhstan than four years ago when I last lived in the United States.

"The increased knowledge of Kazakhstan, however, is not due to the country's economic successes or its role as a U.S. ally in the war on terror.

"Instead, most Americans who have heard of Kazakhstan have heard of it through a satire of a Kazakh journalist named Borat.

"Borat certainly does not promote an image of Kazakhstan that is in sync with that which the government and its leader would like to promote abroad.

"As the old adage goes, however, 'there is no such thing as bad publicity.'

"If that is true, Borat is bringing much more publicity to Kazakhstan."

Cohen's representatives refused to allow him or his alter ego to respond to the controversy because it's not close enough to the film's release date.

September 12, 2006

Naked Cowboy To Release First Music CD

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This can't be good. From the AP

"Hands on my boobies! Hands on my boobies!"

The directive came from the Naked Cowboy, Times Square's most famous street performer, addressing a slightly sheepish female fan posing with him for a picture on a recent afternoon. "Just squeeze away! Don't hurt anything," he ordered.

After eight years of playing guitar in nothing but cowboy boots, a hat and a pair of briefs (crudely marked "Naked Cowboy," to point out the obvious), the New York City icon (real name Robert John Burck) is taking his naked ambition to the next level. He's working on a debut album as part of his plan for "dominating the commercial landscape of the world."

The disc, expected to be released next year, is a "little bit country, little bit rock 'n' roll," the Cowboy said in a recent interview with The Associated Press.

"There'll be blues, R&B down the line and Naked Cowboy - it's its own genre of music," he added.

Some of the tracks have eyebrow-raising titles, the most printable, perhaps, being "Get Your Ass Kicked by a Man in his Underwear."

"Every major record label is gonna compete to be the one to represent this project. Once again, Beatles, Elvis Presley, Naked Cowboy," boasted the Cowboy, calling success "guaranteed."

On another note, we know this is just a light story about the Naked Cowboy, but we still found it odd that the AP is citing Wikipedia as a source. (see the sidebar)

September 11, 2006

Frank Rich On September 11

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A local resident lights candles on the Williamsburg waterfront, September 11, 2001

As always, Frank Rich sums up our opinions nicely. From the NY Times:

In the five years since the attacks, the ability of Americans to dust themselves off and keep going explains both what’s gone right and what’s gone wrong on our path to the divided and dispirited state the nation finds itself in today.

At the National Cathedral prayer service on Sept. 14, 2001, President Bush found just the apt phrase to describe this phenomenon: “Today we feel what Franklin Roosevelt called ‘the warm courage of national unity.’ This is the unity of every faith and every background. It has joined together political parties in both houses of Congress.” What’s more, he added, “this unity against terror is now extending across the world.” The destruction of that unity, both in this nation and in the world, is as much a cause for mourning on the fifth anniversary as the attack itself. As we can’t forget the dead of 9/11, we can’t forget how the only good thing that came out of that horror, that unity, was smothered in its cradle.

When F.D.R. used the phrase “the warm courage of national unity,” it was at his first inaugural, in 1933, as the country reeled from the Great Depression. It is deeply moving to read that speech today. In its most famous line, Roosevelt asserted his “firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” Another passage is worth recalling, too: “We now realize as we have never realized before our interdependence on each other; that we cannot merely take but we must give as well; that if we are to go forward, we must move as a trained and loyal army willing to sacrifice for the good of a common discipline, because without such discipline no progress is made, no leadership becomes effective.

”What followed under Roosevelt’s leadership is one of history’s most salutary stories. Americans responded to his twin entreaties—to renounce fear and to sacrifice for the common good—with a force that turned back economic calamity and ultimately an axis of brutal enemies abroad. What followed Mr. Bush’s speech at the National Cathedral, we know all too well, is another story.

On the very next day after that convocation, Mr. Bush was asked at a press conference “how much of a sacrifice” ordinary Americans would “be expected to make in their daily lives, in their daily routines.” His answer: “Our hope, of course, is that they make no sacrifice whatsoever.” He, too, wanted to move on—to “see life return to normal in America,” as he put it—but toward partisan goals stealthily tailored to his political allies rather than the nearly 90 percent of the country that, according to polls, was rallying around him.

And here's where we were five years ago.

September 09, 2006

The Worst Hairdos On Capital Hill

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This article from Radar is hilarious. Related, for more bad 'dos click here.

September 08, 2006

The Burg—Williamsburg's Own Sitcom—Responds To 'Fan Mail'

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click to view

September 07, 2006

Scholastic and ABC Team Up To Spread Misinformation About 9/11 To Students Nationwide

This sucks. From Eat The Press

The cat calls surrounding ABC's "The Path to 9/11" continue to grow louder. Not only is the network under fire for legitimate questions about the veracity of the primetime mini-series, which apparently goes to significant lengths to pin the blame of 9/11 on the Clinton administration, but ABC itself has failed to answer questions about the dubious way it has arranged for conservative partisans to view the program prior to air date (which has allowed them to cheerlead the movie online and on talk radio), yet Democratic activists have been stiff-armed. My own numerous calls to ABC's publicist requesting a screening copy of "The Path to 9/11" have been ignored. Even former President Bill Clinton's request for a DVD has gone unheeded by ABC.

But now comes the revelation that ABC has teamed up with education publishing giant Scholastic to spread misinformation about Iraq and Bush's War on Terrorism to millions of American high school students; students who might take part in ABC's sponsored teach-in surrounding "The Path to 9/11," which airs Sept. 10-11. Looking at the clear anti-Clinton factual errors included in the mini-series as well as the clear pro-Bush factual errors included in the classroom text, it's hard to pass the pair off as a coincidence.

As Media Matters for America first reported, the ABC and Scholastic-produced "Discussion Guide for the Classroom" that provides background information to students about 9/11 and the Middle East, is "rife with conservative misinformation." For instance, there's this reference to the invasion of Iraq:

The dictatorial government of Saddam Hussein was overthrown in 2003, following an invasion led by the United States.The U.S. government believed that Hussein had been developing weapons of mass destruction that he planned to use against American and other targets.

That's it, period. No mention of the glaringly obvious point that no WMD's were ever found in Iraq and that the Bush administration entire rationale for war turned out to be a fallacy. Yet this slick classroom guide is supposed to help 16, 17, and 18-year-olds better understand American history?

And there's this:

Bush has led the United States into Afghanistan and Iraq and reorganized the national government in an attempt to combat terrorist activity.

The classroom guide for "The Path to 9/11" clearly ties the attacks of Sept. 11, the Taliban and Iraq all together. In fact, the Scholastic text states at the very beginning:

The information below will help you become familiar with the people, places, and organizations that played a role in the events of 9/11 and those that led up to that tragic day.

September 06, 2006

Bob Dylan Is Obviously Obsessed With Scarlett Johansson


Bob Dylan - 'When The Deal Does Down'

September 05, 2006

On Sale Today: The Sinner's Guide to The Evangelical Right

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Our new book goes on sale today, September 5. We want to thank all the prayer warriors who helped make it happen. You can buy copies here: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | BookSense. Join the boycott here. Read excerpts here. Or take the evangelical quiz here.

Robert Lanham will be doing a reading this Thursday, if the Rapture doesn't come first. And he'll be on Air America on Wednesday at 8:30pm.

Advance Praise:

"Like all great satire, the book is cerebral, irreverent and hilarious, while also edifying"
— Publisher's Weekly

"Hilarious"
Alternet

"Every good little liberal will have this book on order as a stocking stuffer come Jesus' birthday."
Time Out

"Not only is this an important book, it's a funny book."
— Marc Maron, Air America Radio

"This book should lay at the lifeless feet of your corpse as a silent, yet powerful and all encompassing explanation as to why you took your own life."
— David Cross, Arrested Development

September 01, 2006

The September 2006 Movie Preview

notyetratedreview.jpg

by Dave Thomas

This month, we begin the long road to Oscar and start weighing each film's chances but, judging by the pickings, most studios are not going to turn on the nitro this early in the race.

September 1

CRANK

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Jason Statham has to keep his adrenaline up or he'll die. So he kills a bunch of people.

WILL IT SUCK?
Could it really be any worse than a Transporter film?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A little bit of competition from The Protector next week, but I think more people know who Jason Statham is than Tony Jaa. $44mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If there was a stunt Oscar, perhaps. One of the writer/directors is a former stunt coordinator.

---------------------------------------

THE WICKER MAN

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Remake of the cult classic where a guy (Nic Cage) goes to a weird town where weird shit happens.

WILL IT SUCK?
Remakes of classic horror films (or any classic) especially ones from overseas are notoriously hard to pull off. I'd like to say if anyone can do it, it's Neil LaButte, who directs and writes here. He's a great writer/director, but he's never done anything like this before. On the other hand, I give him mad props for trying something new. If anything, in the past he's been a great emotional horror film director (In the Company of Men, Your Friends and Neighbors), so perhaps he can make that incarnate. And further mad props to Nic Cage for pulling off this and World Trade Center in short order.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
You could sort of pose an argument about The Covenant being a threat next week, but not really. I think the bigger obstacle is finding an audience for quirky Brit horror. $25mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If Cage gets a nod, it'll be for WTC.

---------------------------------------

CROSSOVER

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Baller sports drama.

WILL IT SUCK?
The good news is that Wayne Brady plays a bad guy. The bad news is that he probably doesn't say, "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" Other than that, rest assured that while you may not have heard of writer/director Preston A. Whitmore II's scripts for Lockdown or A Civil Brand, the critics have and wish they hadn't.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There's not much genre competition, but this genre rarely produces hits. $23mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Wayne Brady should get a nod for his performance on Chappelle's Show, even though it wasn't a movie. Or this year.

---------------------------------------

THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Doc about the MPAA.

WILL IT SUCK?
Saw this at SXSW and lemme tell ya, it's the good shit. Ranks right up there with The Aristocrats and Fuck (later this fall) as a free speech trifecta.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Idiocracy may steal some of the audience, but this has a good buzz to ride going back to Sundance. $7mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
I'll be surprised if it's even eligible.

---------------------------------------

RIDING ALONE FOR THOUSANDS OF MILES

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
A man tries to reconcile with his son by doing the title and then recording a famous opera star's performance because that's how you reconcile, fool.

WILL IT SUCK?
This is Yimou Zhang we're talking about here, son. He don't mess. Hero, To Live, Raise the Red Lantern, and this ranks right now with House of Flying Daggers on IMDB. Yes, I regret that there will be no major ass-whuppings in this drama, but Zhang will get back to the beat-downs with his next project, which involves Chow to the Yun to the Fat.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Never mind the, er, intimidating title, it's hard to sell a Zhang flick without the major ass-whuppings. Kicking Ass for Thousands of Miles? Now thta's a title American audiences can get behind. $2mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
You can't put it past Zhang, but I think it'll be hard without stars.

---------------------------------------

LASSIE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
It's Lassie. And she's doing stuff.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good, and the cast, while not Roddy McDowell and Elizabeth Taylor, is still Samantha Morton, Peter O'Toole and Peter Dinklage, which I kind of prefer.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Interesting strategy going with the limited release. Not a usual move for a family film. And the arthouse audience, not so much with the families. We'll see. $2mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Movies about animals usually have a hard time at the Oscars unless they're docs about penguins. And that was, like, once.

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IDIOCRACY

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Guy wakes up after hibernating for 500 years to discover everyone got dumber while he was asleep.

WILL IT SUCK?
This has been delayed quite a few times, which is surprising given that Mike Judge is writing and directing here, with Luke Wilson and Stephen Root along for the ride.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The constant release date changes aren't doing it any favors, and if this is from the director of the wildly popular Office Space, limited release isn't necessarily the way to go, either. $9mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
No, but if you could give one Oscar to Office Space, what would it be?

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September 8
---------------------------------------

THE COVENANT

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The Shitty Lost Boys

WILL IT SUCK?
I've said it before and I'll say it again -- How the fuck does Renny Harlin keep getting work? And the only thing you've heard of from the writer is Sniper 3, and that's because maybe you've heard there was a movie called Sniper.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This looks just dumb enough to attract a Final Destination-y kind of crowd. $33mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
No, but can we have Harlin drawn and quartered at the half-time show? Come to think of it, can we have a half-time show? The Oscars are just too short.

---------------------------------------

HOLLYWOODLAND

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
A fictionalized account of the investigation into the death of Superman actor George Reeves.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed. That makes sense given the television pedigree of the director (Rome, Sopranos) and the writer (21 Jump Street, A-Team). Still, this should be Ben Affleck's best movie in years. And after the implosion of Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise, he no longer has to hold the mantle of Most Reviled Actor.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Interesting move by Focus to release this wide, especially with Black Dahlia opening the following weekend. Although Affleck won't hurt this as much as you might think, the niche appeal might be better served by a limited release. $23mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
As enticing the notion of Affleck winning a second Oscar (bet you forgot) would be, no.

---------------------------------------

THE PROTECTOR

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The only difference between this and Ong Bak is that Tony Jaa is trying to get back two elephants instead of one giant head.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed but, dude, I had a pretty good time watching him get that head back, and it's basically the same team on this deal.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Tony Jaa is not ready for wide release. $6mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If only there were an Oscar for Best Kicker of Ass.

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sherrybaby.jpg

SHERRYBABY

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Maggie Gyllenhaal in an Independent Movie with Oscar Potential.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, but how can you beat Danny Trejo in a breakout performance as someone other than "that guy who scares me."

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Some fairly high profile indie docs next week, but no direct competish and certainly no bigger names. $2mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Mediocre buzz will carry you if you're Memoirs of a Geisha. This, not so much. Maggie's got a better shot with her WTC performance.

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September 15
---------------------------------------

GRIDIRON GANG

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Remember the Juvies

WILL IT SUCK?
First of all, it's good to see Phil Joanou direct again, even though he hasn't made anything good since the "If God Will Send His Angels" video. Maybe that's why the trailer looks like a music video for "Ghetto Pop Life" (with lines like "I'm givin' bitches good dick" omitted for some reason). The writer has some experience with sports films, having contributed a story credit on Victory (Who among you will put Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone in a movie together again? I challenge you!) but his best effort is the screenplay for In the Line of Fire (he also contributed to the Timeline screenplay, but we'll ignore that for now).

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Some manly stuff coming out next week with Jet Li's seal of approval, but this week it's a question of stay at home and watch football, or go to the movies. $34mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If they didn't remember the Titans, they won't remember this.

---------------------------------------

THE LAST KISS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Zach Braff struggles with adulthood. Again.

WILL IT SUCK?
This is a remake of an Italian film directed by a guy who directed Will Smith in this fall's The Pursuit of Happyness. Nothing to do with the quality, just thought that was neat. Paul Haggis did the adaptation on this mother, so it has potential. It's a little soon to say that Braff has a keen eye for material since he's only led one flick so far it's one he wrote and directed. Still, this seems to have a bit more weight behind it than necessary for your garden variety romcom vehicle. Tony Goldwyn directs, for those of you wondering what he'd do after A Walk on the Moon, Someon Like You, a few eps of Grey's Anatomy and, of course, betraying Patrick Swayze in Ghost.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Braff is poised for the transition into medi-stardom, which is probably why he's prepared to leave Scrubs (sniff). This should help. $27mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
There's maybe a one in a hundred shot for Braff which, in the grand scheme of things, isn't all that bad.

---------------------------------------

THE BLACK DAHLIA

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Part One of James Ellroy's L.A. Quartet has two cops investigating the brutal murder of a young would-be starlet. Based on a true, grisly story.

WILL IT SUCK?
I've had my doubts about this project from the start. After reading The Black Dahlia I realized that an adaptation would be next to impossible. When they put Josh Friedman, a relative unknown on the case, I became even more wary. Then I started reading his blog. I have more confidence now. And I really liked War of the Worlds (I'll blame the last five minutes on Spielberg).

DePalma is, of course, hit-or-miss, but I feel like he's in his element here. IMDB'ers seem to agree. Dahlia's rated there as his best film since Carlito's Way.

And Josh Hartnett? Well, Bucky Bleichert's supposed to be an ex-boxer. Real tough guy. From Sin City to Lucky Number Slevin, Hartnett's slowly been convincing me, but I'm not there yet. Scarlett Johannssenn, Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank and Mia Kirshner should all be fabulous.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Forget noirs, how about a slew of period pieces from one weekend to the next? Hollywoodland, this and All the King's Men next weekend. Men is the king in that trio. $41mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Ellroy has worked that magic before, and Swank's no stranger to the Academy. Consider it in play.

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EVERYONE'S HERO

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
In this animated adventure, a kid named Yankee (yes, Yankee) has to get Babe Ruth's bat back from they guy who stole it. Yankee. Seriously.

WILL IT SUCK?
Did I mention that the bat talks? With the voice of Whoopi Goldberg! He has a talking baseball companion as well.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There's nothing else out there for kids (until, you know, Jackass 2 next week). $20mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Yes, Christopher Reeve started directing this before he died. No, that will not be enough to get the sympathy nod for Best Animated Picture.

---------------------------------------

CONFETTI

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Best Wedding in Show

WILL IT SUCK?
After thinking this was one of the funniest trailers of the year, I wasn't surprised to find out it was nominated for a trailer award. Early buzz is good, and how can you not be all about Martin Freeman getting more work?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Science of Sleep is going to be an issue the following week, but this is nicely distanced from For Your Consideration, the latest from mockumentary mogul Christopher Guest. None of that will matter if Fox Searchlight, who bought this after watching only 20 minutes at Cannes, doesn't start buying ad time on Comedy Central or, better yet, TLC, Bravo and HGTV. $1mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
There may not be a harder form of acting than improv. Some of the best character actors in the world have found their way into Christopher Guest films and the like. They have yet to be recognized by the Academy.

---------------------------------------

THE U.S. VS. JOHN LENNON

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Did you know that John Lennon was a - gasp - anti-war activist? Yes, of course. Everybody knew that.

WILL IT SUCK?
Given that Lennon has one of the most recorded lives in history, it should be no surprise that there's material for more than one doc about the man. Early buzz is good, though I'm really curious to see what sort of insights they can wring out of Geraldo.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There is an audience, believe it or not, for films that reflect poorly on the current state of the world. Still, I don't know that I'd release this the same weekend as The Ground Truth. $2mil.

---------------------------------------

THE GROUND TRUTH

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Doc about our troops -- from recruitment to the return home.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Looks like it will be difficult, but wholly necessary and rewarding, to watch.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A little competish from Lennon, plus Focus really needs to get the word out. The release plan also complicates matters, but if any film deserves day and date, it's this one. It'll be on DVD 11 days after release. Unfortunately, this means only Landmark will have the balls to carry it. Seriously, folks, aren't there more important issues than market cannibalism? $500,000.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If Gunner Palace couldn't get any love, I don't see how this will.

---------------------------------------

THE AMATEURS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Small town decides to shoot a porno.

WILL IT SUCK?
The writer/director wrote Dead Man on Campus. And though the following actors are strong - Jeff Bridges, Joey Pants, Tim Blake Nelson, William Fichtner - the idea of seeing them in a porno is not an inducement to buy (sadly, I've already seen full-frontal Nelson in The Good Girl). Lauren Graham, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Glenne Headly and Judy Greer, on the other hand...

This was supposed to come out in March. Why was it delayed? Was it sucking? I bet it was sucking.

Early buzz is mixed, with audiences liking it and critics, not so much.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
You know what? The Chumscrubber had a huge cast, too, and nobody saw it. $1mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If we see Joey Pants' junk, yes, but not in a good way.

---------------------------------------

HAVEN

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Bill Paxton, Orlando Bloom and Agnes Bruckner in a caper that takes place in the Caymans.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is pretty solidly awful. Too bad. The trailer looks halfway decent.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not too much competition cast or genre-wise. On the other hand, this feels a little straight-to-DVDish. $750,000.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Not so much. But where were they when Paxton directed the shit out of Frailty? Sorry, I'm still bitter.

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AURORA BOREALIS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Pacey does the Garden State thing.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good, and it's won awards at three festivals so far (not that you'll have heard of any of these festivals).

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Flying pretty low under the radar right now. $500,000.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Unless it does a lot better than I'm expecting, Donald Sutherland's performance as the doddering old grandfather will also fly under the radar.

---------------------------------------

ARTIE LANGE'S BEER LEAGUE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Artie Lange has a softball team. They drink beer.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed. If I watched MadTV or listened to Howard Stern more, I'd probably know who the fuck Artie Lange is. As it is, all I can really say about this film is "Look! It's Ralph Macchio! And he's in a movie!"

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Probably has about as good a following as any limited release this week. $1mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Howard first, then Artie.

---------------------------------------
September 22
---------------------------------------

JACKASS: NUMBER TWO

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
More lawsuits in a can.

WILL IT SUCK?
Imagine. Jackass in the age of Saw.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Fearless may actually be an issue, but expect this to surpass its predecessor. $70mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Oscars would only sully this.

---------------------------------------

JET LI'S FEARLESS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Sort of like Mortal Kombat, but this actually happened.

WILL IT SUCK?
First off, don't be freaked out by the fact that this is being touted as Li's last martial arts epic. His next film is the action-thriller Rogue, and I don't think he's playing the police chief that sits behind his desk the whole movie (although that would be awesome). I think this is his last period piece, is all.

Ronny Yu, on the other hand, is just getting started. Like many Hong Kong directors, his American fare hasn't measured up to his native efforts. In Hong Kong -- Bride with the White Hair. In the States -- Bride of Chucky. This, however, is considered his best film by the folks who vote at IMDB. The other critics have also been kind.

None of that really matters, though. They had me at Yuen Woo Ping.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
If it weren't opening against Jackass it might do better. Still. $54mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
No. But Yuen Woo Ping deserves a lifetime achievement award.

---------------------------------------

ALL THE KING'S MEN

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Remake of the 1949 classic (or new adaptation of the novel, depending upon how you want to look at it) about Huey Long (well, not actually about Huey Long, but really, it was).

WILL IT SUCK?
This film was built to kick ass. Steve Zaillian is a damn good writer. Schindler's List. Awakenings. Clear and Present Danger (hey, I liked it). And when he writes and directs? Sheeiiit! We're talkin' about Searching for Bobby Fischer and A Civil Action, son.

But "What about the cast?" you say. I say how about Sean Penn? How about Jude Law? How about Anthony Hopkins? How about James Gandolfini? How about Patricia Clarkson? How about Kate Winslett? How about Mark Ruffalo? How about Kevin Dunn? Does that do it for you? Are you satisfied?

Now, how about the fact that the first film is considered damn near flawless and there's really no need to remake it? Yeah, I got no answer for that. But I'm still curious.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There's a lot of product out there, but Zallian's never had a better cast. $71mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If this is half as good as it should be, will they remember anything else?

---------------------------------------

FLYBOYS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The adventures of American volunteers in the French air force during WWI. See, we used to get along.

WILL IT SUCK?
The director did My Bodyguard. What more do you need? Actually, he did some other stuff, too, which wasn't so good. The same can be said of writer David S. Ward, who wrote The Sting...and King Ralph. That just doesn't seem right, somehow.

The aerial sequences in the trailer look amazing. It's what happens on the ground that concerns me.

Incidentally, a gazillionaire named Larry Ellison threw in almost $30mil of the $60mil budget. Is anyone else having an Aviator moment here?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It's already a pretty guy-heavy weekend, though this has more date potential than, say, Jackass. $23mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Some fx nods are not out of the question.

---------------------------------------

AMERICAN HARDCORE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Punk doc.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. The director does music videos, and the writer literally wrote the book on American Hardcore.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A lot of the audience for this movie will already be out at punk shows. $1mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Music docs have a notoriously hard time getting nods.

---------------------------------------

RENAISSANCE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Animated noir set in Paris in the future.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. This took home the top prize at the Annecy International Animated Film Festival, and don't let the fact that you've never heard of that particular festival deter you. The animation looks amazing. By the way, what's the deal with French dystopian future action flicks, anyway? There've been, like, two this year. Banlieue 13 and this. Okay, maybe it's not a thing. But before this year how many could you name?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There's already one super-hip indie coming out this week. I don't think there's room for two. $4mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
This could be good for an animated nod.

---------------------------------------

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Michel Gondry does the quirky romcom thing again, this time with Gael Garcia Bernal as a dreamer who longs for the girl next door.

WILL IT SUCK?
The general buzz is "good, but no Eternal Sunshine."

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Along with This Film Is Not Yet Rated, pretty much the indie release of the month. $12mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Sunshine had Carrey to help it get Oscar attention. I don't see that happening here without him.

Very Limited

---------------------------------------

FEAST

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Project Greenlight makes a horror film.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is pretty good which, for a Project Greenlight film is, like, fucking amazing. Navi Rawat from Numb3rs and Thoughtcrimes (okay, only two people saw that) is up in here along with a Silent Bob-less Jason Mewes.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Strangely, this film's toughest competition is probably Jackass. That and the fact that its only showing for two midnight screenings before coming out on DVD in October. $10,000.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Needs one full week of theatrical release, but no, that wouldn't help, really.

---------------------------------------
September 29
---------------------------------------


OPEN SEASON

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Kind of like Brother Bear with more shooting.

WILL IT SUCK?
Oh, good. I thought I'd have to go a whole month without a movie where sassy animals stick it to the man. Oh, and this one is actually from the same writers as Brother Bear and Chicken Little. Whee.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Alex Rider provides a little bit of competition the following weekend, but (thankfully) there are no more talking animals for miles. $57mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
I think only one of the talking animal flicks will make it in this year. It could be this one.

---------------------------------------

SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Jon Heder tries to learn how not to be a doormat with a little help from Billy Bob Thornton.

WILL IT SUCK?
Todd Philips has directed such gems as Road Trip, Old School and Starsky & Hutch. He co-wrote those with Scott Armstrong. Same deal here. Along with Heder and Thornton, you've got Todd Louiso, Luis Guzman and David Cross in the mix. I have high hopes.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
We'll see just how big a star Dane Cook is when his Employee of the Month takes on the second frame of this flick. I don't think this one has that much to worry about, though. $48mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
I like Todd Philips, but I'm not ready to give him an Oscar just yet. Neither are they.

---------------------------------------

THE GUARDIAN

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Kevin Costner must protect Ashton Kutcher, but instead, they fall in love. No, wait, that's The Bodyguard. Kevin Costner has to rescue two stolen elephants. No, that's The Protector. I've got it. Costner mentors Kutcher through a rescue swimmer program. Wow. My gay elephant movie is starting to look pretty good right about now, huh?

WILL IT SUCK?
Not to belabor the point, but the writer did the unreleasable D-Tox. On the other hand, director Andrew Davis shoots about 50% from the free throw line, so...nah, that D-Tox thing sinks it.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Those who want to see some real mentoring (Jack Nicholson shuffling Leo DiCaprio through the mob) will turn their attentions to The Departed the following week, but this week the Cult of Kutcher will show up. $58mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
I'm not sure Kutcher's even been invited to the Oscars yet.

---------------------------------------

THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Idi and Me

WILL IT SUCK?
The director did the outstanding One Day in September and the equally powerful (I'm told) Touching the Void. It'll be interesting to see what he does with a narrative feature, even if it is based on true events. I also have a feeling that Forest Whitaker will kick all sorts of ass as Idi Amin. Plus Gillian Anderson is in there and I'm sure that will be nice, too.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
To be perfectly honest, I don't think all that many people give a crap about Idi Amin. Oscar buzz might help, though. $3mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Whitaker could pull it off.

---------------------------------------

SLEEPING DOGS LIE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Woman shares a dirty secret with her fiance which, if you were paying any attention at all during Sundance, you already know what it is.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is kind of "meh," which is a step up from Bob Goldthwait's last writing/directing gig, Shakes the Clown.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Shortbus will push the envelope even further the following week, but curiousity should make for a nice opening. $3mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
There is no category for that secret.

---------------------------------------

A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR SAINTS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Writer/director Dito Montiel's semi-autobiographical flick has him, in Robert Downey, Jr. form, going back to his old neighborhood to take care off his ailing father (in Chazz Palminteri form).

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good in spite of a mixed reaction at Sundance. Mean Streets comparisons get tossed around a lot. Shia LaBeouf plays young Dito.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Scotland might be a little more high profile, but this has buzz going back to January, so we'll see. $5mil.

WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
That's probably pushing it.

Next Month: Martin Scorsese directs Jack Nicholson for the first time. Unfortunately, it's in a remake.

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