[Hat tip Radar]

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

And it kicks ass.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 06:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This video is evidently HUGE in Japan. We kinda love it too.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 05:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From The Washington Post

Iraq has failed to meet all but three of 18 congressionally mandated benchmarks for political and military progress, according to a draft of a Government Accountability Office report. The document questions whether some aspects of a more positive assessment by the White House last month adequately reflected the range of views the GAO found within the administration.

The strikingly negative GAO draft, which will be delivered to Congress in final form on Tuesday, comes as the White House prepares to deliver its own new benchmark report in the second week of September, along with congressional testimony from Army Gen. David H. Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in Iraq, and Ambassador Ryan C. Crocker. They are expected to describe significant security improvements and offer at least some promise for political reconciliation in Iraq.

The draft provides a stark assessment of the tactical effects of the current U.S.-led counteroffensive to secure Baghdad. "While the Baghdad security plan was intended to reduce sectarian violence, U.S. agencies differ on whether such violence has been reduced," it states. While there have been fewer attacks against U.S. forces, it notes, the number of attacks against Iraqi civilians remains unchanged. It also finds that "the capabilities of Iraqi security forces have not improved."

"Overall," the report concludes, "key legislation has not been passed, violence remains high, and it is unclear whether the Iraqi government will spend $10 billion in reconstruction funds," as promised. READ IT ALL

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Mr. T. - "Treat Your Mother Right"

Cracked has the whole list here.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 11:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

This was shot in our neighborhood. It's a little derivative (of us) but still pretty funny.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

As always, Aquarium Drunkard is kind enough to provide us with some essential listening. Check it out here.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 11:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This op-ed, written by a handful of military sergeants deployed in Iraq is at once tragic and essential. They eloquently dispute the White House and the media's assertion that the "surge" is beginning to work. Tragically, one of the article's authors was shot in the head before the story was completed. Thankfully, he's in stable condition. If you read one article all week, make sure this is the one. From The NY Times:

Viewed from Iraq at the tail end of a 15-month deployment, the political debate in Washington is indeed surreal. Counterinsurgency is, by definition, a competition between insurgents and counterinsurgents for the control and support of a population. To believe that Americans, with an occupying force that long ago outlived its reluctant welcome, can win over a recalcitrant local population and win this counterinsurgency is far-fetched. As responsible infantrymen and noncommissioned officers with the 82nd Airborne Division soon heading back home, we are skeptical of recent press coverage portraying the conflict as increasingly manageable and feel it has neglected the mounting civil, political and social unrest we see every day. (Obviously, these are our personal views and should not be seen as official within our chain of command.)

The claim that we are increasingly in control of the battlefields in Iraq is an assessment arrived at through a flawed, American-centered framework. Yes, we are militarily superior, but our successes are offset by failures elsewhere. What soldiers call the “battle space” remains the same, with changes only at the margins. It is crowded with actors who do not fit neatly into boxes: Sunni extremists, Al Qaeda terrorists, Shiite militiamen, criminals and armed tribes. This situation is made more complex by the questionable loyalties and Janus-faced role of the Iraqi police and Iraqi Army, which have been trained and armed at United States taxpayers’ expense.

A few nights ago, for example, we witnessed the death of one American soldier and the critical wounding of two others when a lethal armor-piercing explosive was detonated between an Iraqi Army checkpoint and a police one. Local Iraqis readily testified to American investigators that Iraqi police and Army officers escorted the triggermen and helped plant the bomb. These civilians highlighted their own predicament: had they informed the Americans of the bomb before the incident, the Iraqi Army, the police or the local Shiite militia would have killed their families.

As many grunts will tell you, this is a near-routine event. Reports that a majority of Iraqi Army commanders are now reliable partners can be considered only misleading rhetoric. The truth is that battalion commanders, even if well meaning, have little to no influence over the thousands of obstinate men under them, in an incoherent chain of command, who are really loyal only to their militias.

Similarly, Sunnis, who have been underrepresented in the new Iraqi armed forces, now find themselves forming militias, sometimes with our tacit support. Sunnis recognize that the best guarantee they may have against Shiite militias and the Shiite-dominated government is to form their own armed bands. We arm them to aid in our fight against Al Qaeda.

However, while creating proxies is essential in winning a counterinsurgency, it requires that the proxies are loyal to the center that we claim to support. Armed Sunni tribes have indeed become effective surrogates, but the enduring question is where their loyalties would lie in our absence. The Iraqi government finds itself working at cross purposes with us on this issue because it is justifiably fearful that Sunni militias will turn on it should the Americans leave.

In short, we operate in a bewildering context of determined enemies and questionable allies, one where the balance of forces on the ground remains entirely unclear. (In the course of writing this article, this fact became all too clear: one of us, Staff Sergeant Murphy, an Army Ranger and reconnaissance team leader, was shot in the head during a “time-sensitive target acquisition mission” on Aug. 12; he is expected to survive and is being flown to a military hospital in the United States.) While we have the will and the resources to fight in this context, we are effectively hamstrung because realities on the ground require measures we will always refuse -- namely, the widespread use of lethal and brutal force.

Given the situation, it is important not to assess security from an American-centered perspective. The ability of, say, American observers to safely walk down the streets of formerly violent towns is not a resounding indicator of security. What matters is the experience of the local citizenry and the future of our counterinsurgency. When we take this view, we see that a vast majority of Iraqis feel increasingly insecure and view us as an occupation force that has failed to produce normalcy after four years and is increasingly unlikely to do so as we continue to arm each warring side.

Coupling our military strategy to an insistence that the Iraqis meet political benchmarks for reconciliation is also unhelpful. The morass in the government has fueled impatience and confusion while providing no semblance of security to average Iraqis. Leaders are far from arriving at a lasting political settlement. This should not be surprising, since a lasting political solution will not be possible while the military situation remains in constant flux.

The Iraqi government is run by the main coalition partners of the Shiite-dominated United Iraqi Alliance, with Kurds as minority members. The Shiite clerical establishment formed the alliance to make sure its people did not succumb to the same mistake as in 1920: rebelling against the occupying Western force (then the British) and losing what they believed was their inherent right to rule Iraq as the majority. The qualified and reluctant welcome we received from the Shiites since the invasion has to be seen in that historical context. They saw in us something useful for the moment.

Now that moment is passing, as the Shiites have achieved what they believe is rightfully theirs. Their next task is to figure out how best to consolidate the gains, because reconciliation without consolidation risks losing it all. Washington’s insistence that the Iraqis correct the three gravest mistakes we made -- de-Baathification, the dismantling of the Iraqi Army and the creation of a loose federalist system of government -- places us at cross purposes with the government we have committed to support.

Political reconciliation in Iraq will occur, but not at our insistence or in ways that meet our benchmarks. It will happen on Iraqi terms when the reality on the battlefield is congruent with that in the political sphere. There will be no magnanimous solutions that please every party the way we expect, and there will be winners and losers. The choice we have left is to decide which side we will take. Trying to please every party in the conflict -- as we do now -- will only ensure we are hated by all in the long run.

At the same time, the most important front in the counterinsurgency, improving basic social and economic conditions, is the one on which we have failed most miserably. Two million Iraqis are in refugee camps in bordering countries. Close to two million more are internally displaced and now fill many urban slums. Cities lack regular electricity, telephone services and sanitation. “Lucky” Iraqis live in gated communities barricaded with concrete blast walls that provide them with a sense of communal claustrophobia rather than any sense of security we would consider normal.

In a lawless environment where men with guns rule the streets, engaging in the banalities of life has become a death-defying act. Four years into our occupation, we have failed on every promise, while we have substituted Baath Party tyranny with a tyranny of Islamist, militia and criminal violence. When the primary preoccupation of average Iraqis is when and how they are likely to be killed, we can hardly feel smug as we hand out care packages. As an Iraqi man told us a few days ago with deep resignation, “We need security, not free food.”

In the end, we need to recognize that our presence may have released Iraqis from the grip of a tyrant, but that it has also robbed them of their self-respect. They will soon realize that the best way to regain dignity is to call us what we are -- an army of occupation -- and force our withdrawal.

Until that happens, it would be prudent for us to increasingly let Iraqis take center stage in all matters, to come up with a nuanced policy in which we assist them from the margins but let them resolve their differences as they see fit. This suggestion is not meant to be defeatist, but rather to highlight our pursuit of incompatible policies to absurd ends without recognizing the incongruities.

We need not talk about our morale. As committed soldiers, we will see this mission through.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

It's almost hard to believe this is real. Make sure you watch the video. [Thanks Kevin]

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

MIA to perform in October

Judging from the line-up, the club seems like a pretty big deal. [hat tip BrooklynVegan]

The Bowery Presents, an independent New York concert-promotion company, today announced Terminal 5 will open in early October and will be the largest midtown venue to open in more than ten years. Terminal 5 will be located at 610 West 56th Street between 11th and 12th Avenues, and will provide a new 3,000-capacity midtown music, art and event venue.

OCTOBER
11: The National
19: M.I.A.
20: Justice
23-24: The Shins with Vetiver

NOVEMBER
1-2: The Decemberists
23: State Radio with The Beautiful Girls
30 - 12/1: Ween

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 08:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

image c/o Gearbits

It's Time Warner's fault. The rumors are true, they are totally incompetent as a cable provider. For now, the FREEwilliamsburg office has become our local internet cafe.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 06:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

And we'll kind of miss hating him. Rove says he expects the president's approval rating to get better, perhaps not coincidentally? Wall Street Journal has the story. Later fuckhead.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Feministing has a *great* documentary on Real Dolls. You can check it out here, but you might want to wash your hands after viewing.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 06:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Since everyone is asking:
Doors at 5:30
Band goes on at 7:00

more info here.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 01:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Even better than the Superbad trailer:

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 10:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Our friend Kevin turned us onto this band and we've been loving what we've heard thus far. They remind us of Beirut, only better. Somebody, please go sign them now. We want to hear more. You can check out some La Strada tracks on myspace at www.myspace.com/lastradanyc. La Strada will be playing at Soundfix in Williamsburg on August 11 at 10pm.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 02:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Gothamist has the story.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 01:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We're not going to even pretend to understand what he's talking about, but this sure is entertaining. Can somebody say rage issues. Via Gawker.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

by Dave Thomas

Rocket Science

In spite of overcrowded weekends and the fact that this is August, there's actually quite a bit to look forward to this month.

AUGUST 3

UNDERDOG

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Dog gets superpowers.

WILL IT SUCK?
The director did Racing Stripes and one of the three writers did Zoom, so I'm not optimistic. Nice cast, tho, with Jason Lee as the voice of Underdog and Peter Dinklage and Patrick Warburton as the bad guys. Also, keep an eye out for Samantha Bee.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
All the family-ish crap is coming out now. You've got the second frame of Simpsons and this week Bratz, Charlie Bartlett, El Cantate and Hot Rod, all of which will pull on diff. sectors of this demo. - and then next week, Daddy Day Camp and Stardust. Still, people love them some talking animals. $50mil.

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CHARLIE BARTLETT

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Kind of like that part in Rushmore where he goes to public school if he then started giving psychiatric advice and drugs to students.

WILL IT SUCK?
I'm not the only one making Rushmore comparisons. Richard Horgan over at FilmStew compares Robert Downey, Jr. in this film to Bill Murray in the other. Hope Davis is up in here, too, as Bartlett's mom. Early buzz is very good.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Crowded weekend, nobody knows about it, similarly-themed Rocket Science comes out (albeit in limited release) next week, and even Rushmore didn't make good wide release money. $15mil.

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EL CANTANTE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The Salsa King

WILL IT SUCK?
Basically critics seem split on whether or not the caliente muscial numbers are enough to support the whatever-is-Spanish-for-tepid rest of the film. But, if you wanna see J-Lo and M-Anto in a movie together, now's your chance.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Outside her wheelhouse, J-Lo is no safe bet. $26mil.

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THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Matt Damon kicks more ass.

WILL IT SUCK?
They've really pulled out all the stops (and no, I will not make a Tom Stoppard pun here even though he's contributing to the screenplay). Paul Greengrass is back in the director's chair and Tony Gilroy is back writing with the aforementioned Stoppard in tow as well as a little Paul Attanasio thrown in for good measure (we'll try to forget that George "The Sentinel" Nolfi is also credited). All the regular cast is back along with David Straithairn following in the character-actor-turned-Bourne-villain steps of Chris Cooper and Brian Cox before him. Unfortunately, the rumored casting of Gael Garcia Bernal as Carlos the Jackal failed to materialize. I doubt that pitting Bourne against Carlos is even in the plot anymore, but who knows?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Little bit of competition from Rush Hour 3 next week, but not much. $167mil.

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HOT ROD

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Andy Samberg as a would-be daredevil.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Samberg cohort Akiva Schaffer directs a script from Trey Parker and Matt Stone writing partner Pam Brady. Isla Fisher (who proved her comedy chops in Wedding Crashers) co-stars with Will Arnett and Ian McShane.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
With SNL on hiatus, who will pimp Hot Rod? $20mil.

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BRATZ

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The horror...the horror...

WILL IT SUCK?
I've gotta say, they've put together the right writer and director for this. The director helmed 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain and the writer did The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Oh, and the clothes were designed by Jeffrey Sebelia of Project Runway fame, so it's got that going for it.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This will pretty much own its demographic, with some straying towards Underdog because puppies are cute. $33mil.

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BECOMING JANE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Anne Hathaway IS Jane Austen.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is favorable, but not exactly gushing. Good supporting cast, with James McAvoy once again playing second fiddle to a famous historic figure (I can't wait for the scene where Jane Austen hangs him by his nipples) and Dame Maggie Smith, Julie Walters and James "I bet you thought I was British" Cromwell all on board.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Plenty of starpower in The Ten this week, but a completely different audience. $2mil.

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THE TEN

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The Ten Commandments via The State.

WILL IT SUCK?
Not as good as it should be. More here.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There's nothing like it out there, but I don't know how strong The State following really is. $2mil.

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AUGUST 10
--------------------------------

STARDUST

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Guy finds fallen star (Claire Danes - no, not like that. I mean she isn't as popular now as she was when My So Called Life ended, but still). Fantasy adventure ensues.

WILL IT SUCK?
Hard to say. People love them some Neil Gaiman, and this is based on a graphic novel he co-wrote with Charles Vess. And Matthew Vaughan can direct the shit out of a film (Layer Cake). Still, the trailer looks cheesy as hell. Early buzz is good.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I think it'll do better than people expect. With Harry Potter 5 nearly a month old at this point, we'll be due for some fresh fantasy. $76mil.

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SKINWALKERS

(Delayed from March, and then July)

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Kind of like Underworld without the vampires. Or 1/12 the budget.

WILL IT SUCK?
From the director of Jason X. Wait. Where are you going?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
About as well as Blood and Chocolate. Constant release delays don't bode well. $4mil.

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RUSH HOUR 3

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
An American Franchise in Paris

WILL IT SUCK?
One early review isn't favorable, aside from that, all we have to look at is Brett Ratner who, usually, I disdain, but for the purposes of a Rush Hour film is just right, and Jeff Nathanson who wrote 2, which I enjoyed. Also, sketchy, sketchy Roman Polanski as a French police chief. How much you want to bet that was Ratner's idea?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There's a reason they paid Chris Tucker more than anybody ever to come back for this. $152mil.

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DADDY DAY CAMP

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Cuba Gooding Jr. replaces Eddie Murphy in this sequel to a movie that would have had a hard time justifying a sequel with Eddie Murphy.

WILL IT SUCK?
Here's a pretty good roundup of what happens when you do a sequel without your original star. But even with Eddie Murphy, a script from writers behind RV, The Shaggy Dog, Are We There Yet?, Clockstoppers, both Garfields, Cheaper by the Dozen oh, and Daddy Day Care probably isn't going to rock your socks. Directed by Fred Savage (yes, that Fred Savage) but I won't hold it against him.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Even kids will have the good taste to watch Bratz instead. $9mil.

--------------------------------

ROCKET SCIENCE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Kid with a stutter joins the debate team.

WILL IT SUCK?
Director Jeffrey Blitz takes the same skill he brought to the documentary Spellbound and brings it to the world of narrative fiction. The results is one of the best films of the summer. Highly recommended. Read more.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Needs more buzz. $1mil.

--------------------------------

2 DAYS IN PARIS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Before Sunset...Tomorrow

WILL IT SUCK?
Julie Delpy has actually written and directed before, in fact, she's an Academy-Award-nominated screenwriter (Before Sunset). Early buzz has it that she's knocked this one out of the park. I'm sure Adam Goldberg is fun, too, as her put-upon lover.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Even fewer people know about this than Rocket Science. $500,000.

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AUGUST 17
--------------------------------

SUPERBAD

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Quest for Beer

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Seth Rogen co-wrote, and lest you think he's a scribe-come-lately, he used to write for Apatow's Undeclared. The director used to direct Undeclared. So if you liked Undeclared, you're probably in good company here. I've already heard more than one critic refer to this as the funniest movie of the summer, and perhaps the year.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
No real blockbusters left, so there's room for this to pull a Knocked Up. $65mil.

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THE INVASION

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
...of the Body Snatchers

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is bad and here, I suspect, is why. This was originally directed by Downfall and Das Experiment director Oliver Hirschbiegel. Warner Bros. didn't like his cut, so they gave it to the Wachowski Bros. who reshot the ending and eventually handed the whole thing over to their boy James McTeigue (V for Vendetta) who went on to redo, like, 2/3 of the flick. When that happens (see the Exorcist prequel) you usually end up with a mess.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Nothing quite like it, and the one-two punch of Craig and Kidman will help. $63mil.

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THE KING OF KONG: A FISTFUL OF QUARTERS

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Donkey Kong-Bound

WILL IT SUCK?
Ever seen a trailer for a film and just known that you have to see it right away? Early buzz is fantastic, and as much fun as watching two guys try to beat each other at Donkey Kong is in concept, I'm impressed to see that the execution is getting such renown.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
With the right marketing (to geeks) this could do well. $4mil.

--------------------------------

DEATH AT A FUNERAL

(Delayed from June)

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Wacky goings-on at a funeral.

WILL IT SUCK?
Very funny. Alan Tudyk (of Firefly fame) in particular does a decent job. Full review here.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Medium. $2mil.

--------------------------------

THE 11TH HOUR

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
A Shitload of Inconvenient Truths

WILL IT SUCK?
It ain't getting Inconvenient Truth buzz, but people like it.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Having Leo DiCaprio host your enviro-fest won't help if nobody knows about it. $2mil.

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AUGUST 24
--------------------------------

WAR

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Jason Statham vs. Jet Li

WILL IT SUCK?
Is it bad that the only reason I'm really curious about this is Devon Aoki? I'm not inspired by the music video director or the newbie writers, but it is mildly interesting to see Li return to playing a heavy, which he did expertly in Lethal 4. From the trailer, though, you'd think Statham was the one who knew more kung fu. You'd also think that Li has simply given up speaking.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
People love them some Li. Even more people love them some Statham. $46mil.

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MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Title says it all.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is not so good. Rowan Atkinson is a funny motherfucker. Why do the Bean films appear to suck?

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The last Bean movie made $250mil worldwide, $45mil of that was here. $30mil.

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ILLEGAL TENDER

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Guy goes to Puerto Rico to avenge something having to do with his family's secret past.

WILL IT SUCK?
Writer/Director Franc Reyes last flick was Empire, which didn't blow anyone away. Not too high hopes for this one, either.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It's a mistake to open against War. $7mil.

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THE NANNY DIARIES

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The Devil's Son Wears OshKosh B'Gosh

WILL IT SUCK?
Stranger than the Weinstein Bros. changing the release date every five minutes is the fact that, in a WTF move similar to Wayne Wang switching from Smoke to cheesy romantic comedies, this comes from the directors/adapters of American Splendor. And a trailer that makes the great Laura Linney look like a low-rent Meryl Streep does not bode well.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Nice that this doesn't have much competition, but I think it'd be smarter to go indie and do a limited release to create buzz. $40mil.

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RESURRECTING THE CHAMP

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
A writer (Josh Hartnett) finds a homeless man (Sam Jackson) who claims to be a former championship boxer.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz on this is really, really good. Director Rod Lurie also directed The Contender. I just think that's funny. Keep an eye out for his next flick, "loosely based" on the Valerie Plame affair.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Again, they shoulda gone limited release. $8mil.

--------------------------------

SEPTEMBER DAWN

(Delayed from May, and then June)

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Fictionalized account of the Mountain Meadows massacre.

WILL IT SUCK?
From the director of Gone Fishin' and The Next Karate Kid (and no, Young Guns does not make up for those). Those of you wondering what happened to Dean Cain, here you go.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
People are a little more curious about Mormons now than, say, before the Presidential campaigns started, but this will still do better on DVD. $500,000.

--------------------------------

DEDICATION

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Words and Illustrations

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is generally good, giving actor Justin Theroux credit for a decent first-time job directing Billy Crudup and Mandy Moore as the bickering writer and illustrator, respectively. Tom Wilkinson, Dianne Weist, Bob Balaban, Bobby Cannavale, Martin Freeman, Amy Sedaris, Christine Tayler and Peter Bogdonavich round out the cast.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Needs a much bigger push from the Weinsteins. $2mil.

--------------------------------

THE HOTTEST STATE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Boy finds musician. Boy loses musician. Boy goes after musician.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is not so great. Didn't get much love at Venice. And if the thought of Ethan Hawke adapting and directing his own novel (and getting a supporting role, too, natch) seems a bit much, just remember he was totally bad-ass on Alias that one time. Side note: I find it interesting that both Ethan Hawke and July Delpy have movies they wrote coming out this month.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Even fewer people know about this than Dedication. $500,000.

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AUGUST 31
--------------------------------

HALLOWEEN

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Rob Zombie remakes the indie horror classic.

WILL IT SUCK?
Although the footage screened at Comic Con underwhelmed (at least the Cinematical guy), other buzz has this as a very accomplished work by Zombie, who wowed critics with The Devil's Rejects in 2005. Great casting: Malcom McDowell as Dr. Loomis, Brad Douriff as the Sheriff, Zombie's wife Sheri Moon plays Michael's mom, Tyler Mane (that's Sabretooth to you) plays Michael, and Udo Kier, Danny Trejo, Daryl Sabara, Dee Wallace, Adrienne Barbeau, Sybil Danning, Micky Dolenz and Clint Fucking Howard are all up in here, too. Scout Taylor-Compton, who is starring in another horror remake (April Fool's Day), steps into Jamie Lee Curtis' shoes.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
People are psyched for this shit. $50mil.

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BALLS OF FURY

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Enter the world of underground ping-pong.

WILL IT SUCK?
As funny as The State is (and as funny as I'm told Reno 911! is) when these guys write movies, it just doesn't work (The Pacifier, Herbie: Fully Loaded, Let's Go to Jail). So I'm not all that psyched for this one - in spite of Christopher Walken in a goofy outfit.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A little distance from Superbad probably doesn't hurt. $29mil.

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DEATH SENTENCE

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Death Wish, Bacon-style

WILL IT SUCK?
From Saw director James Wan and based on the same novel as the original Death Wish so, yeah, it's deep. Sadly, the only other stars besides Kevin Bacon are John Goodman and Aisha Tyler, so this won't do much for six degrees.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Nobody's been waiting for a Death Wish remake. $17mil.

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LADRON QUE ROBA A LADRON

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Latino heist flick.

WILL IT SUCK?
Not much is known about this movie except that the director has done a lot of telenovelas, none of which have gotten much love on IMDB.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
As I said, not much is known, which means the film itself is probably not known. On the other hand, chances are I'm not watching any of the markets where they're advertising this, and the "little seen" La Mujer de mi Hermano made some serious green. $2mil.

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THE NINES

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
The long-awaited (by John HOW WELL WILL IT DO?fans, anyway) indie about overlapping lives.

WILL IT SUCK?
The term "metaphysical" comes up a lot in reviews for Go, Big Fish and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory writer John August's directorial debut. The sentiment "really fucking good" comes up a lot, too. Ryan Reynolds, Hope Davis, Melissa McCarthy play three roles each, if that gives you a taste of the trippiness.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Aside from a few die-hard HOW WELL WILL IT DO?fans, I don't know that anybody knows about this. $1mil.

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EXILED

WHAT'S THE PITCH?
Johnnie To gangster flick.

WILL IT SUCK?
IMDB'ers consider it to be To's best, while critics are a little more split.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Johnny To is not a name yet in the States. $250,000.

Next Month: Is that Wes Anderson's music I hear playing?

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 07:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Illustrating once again how he believes he (and his cronies) are above the law.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Darjeeling Limited, in theaters this December.

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 09:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Will Oldham is slowly becoming the king of indie rock silliness. First, he helped produce this hilarious (albeit really beautiful) Kanye West video. Now's he's recorded a Mariah Carey cover, "Can’t Take That Away." You can download it here via Aquarium Drunkard. Turns out the cover is part of the soon to be released Guilty By Association.

Here's the track listing via the label:

The Concretes/Back For Good (Take That)
Porter Block/Breaking Free (High School Musical)
Mike Watt/Burning For You (Blue Oyster Cult)
Will Oldham/Bonnie 'Prince' Billy/Can't Take That Away (Mariah Carey)
Casey Shea/Chop Suey (System of a Down)
Devendra Banhart/Don't Look Back In Anger (Oasis)
Petra Haden/Don't Stop Believing (Journey)
Mark Mulcahy/From This Moment On (Shania Twain)
Mooney Suzuki/Just Like Jesse James (Cher)
Woody Jackson Orchestra featuring Money Mark/Love's Theme (Love Unlimited Orchestra)
Superchunk/Say My Name (Destiny's Child)
Luna/Straight Up (Paula Abdul)
Goat/Sugar We're Going Down (Fall Out Boy)
Geoff Farina/Two Tickets To Paradise (Eddie Money)
Jim O'Rourke/Viva Forever (Spice Girls)

Posted by freewilliamsburg at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)