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The Week in Free Shit (The Smelly Piano Edition)


Ohhhh Williamsburg, there's still a whole pile of free shit out there. This week, we've got a stank-ass piano, brain scans, spearfishing magazines and some free records! Come, take a gander with me and smell the savings.

Free Foam!
You know things are in the shitter when people are giving away free foam. It's in the same category as free spit, potato shavings and eye boogies. But, you know, foam makes a fantastic jacket stuffer and you could probably tell all your friends you're having a foam party, but then when they show up just have chunks of this real foam lying around your house. Wait, that's actually a funny idea should I email this guy?

Free Steinway Piano
Sounds awesome, but there's a catch: "this piano is free. it has a BEAUTIFUL sound, but unfortunately, it smells." What. the. fuck. If only Beethoven couldn't smell, we'd have a winner here.

Free Brain Scans!
Hey, you never know. Grandpa might've been right all those years ago when he knocked and heard echos.

Free Spearfishing Mags
Things might get testy this summer, and yall might need to refine your spearfishing skills in the East River. These 30-some mags will get you well on your way. Also, have you ever met a spearfisher without a beard? No. Grow it.

And then, tomorrow there's Free Records!!

9 am - 5 pm From the ad:

For the boozehounds, My Open Bar's got a few events tonight, namely free PBR starting at 9 at Rockstar Bar (349 Kent Street) and a performance art piece by Rob Andrews with artsy booze, no cover at Grace Exhibition Space (840 Broadway). Also, Brooklyn Brewery tours as free as ever and there're poets at Pete's.

Oh! Williamsburg is Dead just reminded me, "you can venture to the almost-but-not-quite-closed Sound Fix Cafe to see The Forms play a free show at 8pm."

If you're over in Bushwick, check out BushwickBk's culture picks for the weekend, and if I missed any, or to be included in future semi-regular round-ups, email me.

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