FREEwilliamsburg: WWJD — If He Was a Hipster?

Holy Jesus fuck! I recently came across something that has me baffled to the core: The Christian Hipster phenomenon. Apparently, Brett McCracken, a self-identified Christian hipster, is writing a book about a utopian world where Christians sit around and smoke cloves, drink 40s and pray together.

"This is a serious exploration. It’s not a joke, and though it is humorous at times and occasionally ironic, it is by no means an exercise in sarcasm (as in, say, Robert Lanham’s Hipster Handbook)... Whatever criticism I end up putting forward in the book, I hope that readers recognize that it is all for the ultimate refinement of the church and its mission in the world."

I see. Well then leave the sarcasm to me, because I'm going to go ahead and call this one a HIPSTER FAIL.

I mean, who wants to be labeled as a hipster? Actually, I'm pretty sure this violates the first term of hipsterdom: Hipsters don't like other hipsters, which lies in direct opposition to that whole 'community' aspect of organized religion. The aspiring author recognizes this to a certain extent though:

"If we assume that “cool” necessarily connotes the notion of being elite, privileged, and somehow better than the masses, how can we reconcile the idea of “cool” with the idea of Christianity, which seems to beckon us away from self-aggrandizement or pride of any and all kind?"

You can't. Listen, just because church is boring, you can't just call yourself a hipster and make self-flagellation and whimsical beliefs cool again. This situation is so perplexing it is hurting my brain. But I'll humor this idea for a moment while I wonder, Maybe Jesus was a hipster? I mean he had the long hair and beard and was a total lush and stuff. Also, McCracken's posts have provoked some oddly familiar criticism. From the comments:

"If you think Christians who have learned to see (and endure) suffering as redemptive participation in the passion of Jesus Christ by way of tutelage that comes from reading Hauerwas, O’Connor, et al., and even more, that such positioning is “cool,” then you need to leave Los Angeles and go back to the midwest."

LOL, I don't even understand half of this jibberish, but it seems reminiscent of the curmudgeonly redundant tripe on the diehipster.com website. Ultimately though, I am not buying what this guy is selling. Sorry, Brett, I just don't see people latching on to the whole Christian hipster trend, especially if you try to peddle that shit in Williamsburg. That whole excessive kindness and singing stuff... ugh. Now if you'll excuse me, MY Sundays are for sinning, and I need to go read about evolution and find my next one-night stand.