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Creepy, Lap-Bouncey, Pervy Plushies Now Delivering Crack

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We don't know what's worse, the creepy, lap-bouncey, crack-bearing plushies or the gutter punks. Make them go away.

Now, the plushies are delivering:

Club Animals has been criticized for being pointless, but the pointlessness is the point. In the latest addition, we are personally delivering a 100% sugar crack rock (multi-colored and multi-flavored with snow cone syrup) to your Brooklyn house on demand. Expect a 7-foot tall man in a plush, blue mascot head, white gloves and a tuxedo to come knocking soon after you call or text for delivery. You can purchase a few candy crack rocks for $1 a pop in a 1" x 1" crack bag. Can't say too much here because y'know it's drugs.

Call or Text 347-742-2293 for delivery at the appropriate times
***Serving Brooklyn L Train Bedford to Montrose stops ONLY***


Previously....
Creepy plushies on the L Platform
Gutter Punks Invade Williamsburg
[via]

Comments

i'm confused. is it really crack as per the 'can't say too much' line or is that part of the joke? because isn't this already saying too much?

it's totally creepy, but i'm not sure you are using 'plushie' correctly. i thought plushies had sex with stuffed animals. this seems more 'fursuit' business.

oh get off your high horse about the plushie. it's hilarious.

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