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Hipster Foldables: The Gutter Punk

gutterpunk_illus.jpgOur third Hipster Foldable, has arrived and now we have to fumigate. It's the Gutter Punk. As you've undoubtedly noticed, they've invaded the 'burg and now we can expect a surge in lyme disease from the ticks festering in their nasty-ass beards.

In case you missed the story in the Daily News, here it is:

Heroin-addict hobos from around the country are overrunning hipster haven Williamsburg - living in stalled luxury condo projects in the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood. The squatters, from middle-class families, hop freight trains to the city, where they can earn up to $150 a day panhandling in Manhattan. At night, like plenty of other borough commuters, they return to their homes: grubby hideaways inside boarded-up lots that pock the once-booming neighborhood.

"I've got to sleep somewhere, and I might as well do it in Williamsburg," said Stuart, 22, a Florida college dropout.

The admitted alcoholic and heroin user makes $15 an hour panhandling in Union Square, holding a sign that reads "Traveling Broke and Sexy."

"The girls here like it that I'm dirty and I ride trains," he added.

The vagrants - who also call themselves "crusty punks" - swarmed into Williamsburg this spring, drawn by open-minded young people and vacant lots.

Packs of punks and their mangy dogs clog Bedford Ave. in the evenings. They sprawl drunkenly on the sidewalk and heckle hipsters for money and cigarettes.

"There's a big crowd of us here," said Sethry, 20, of Portland, Ore., lounging near North Ninth St. one recent night. "Every night it's a party with all our friends."

As we suggested before, don't give them money. Instead, use this much more sanitary, stench-free bank and save for your own future.

1. Download the Gutter Punk foldable here (.pdf)
2. Print
3. Cut along black solid lines
4. Fold along dotted lines and tape, as instructed

Thanks again to Bryan. And remember, send us photos for future foldables! We want to feature local celebrities—who doesn't want a Todd P foldable? Or perhaps the creepy pastor on Bedford, if we ever muster the courage to approach him.


The Hipster Grifter
Hip Kyp Malone


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Crusties dont always come from middle class homes. some never had parents. some crusties DONT DO HEROIN. I know some fucking crusties that dont even drink. I should know. I am a "gutter punk." some are talented as fuck musicians... some make/ sell jewlery and sell art. so fuck you. fuck your post. and we only heckle people like you that act like douche bags to us. im glad i found this post. oh by the way. FUCK NYC IT CAN SUCK MY DICK. GO TAKE SOME MYSPACE PICS PUSSY!!! If i saw you on the street i bet you wouldnt have the balls to tell me you wrote this. cause you are gutless but a REAL MAN behind the computers.
spare some bigotry? Or maybe a false steriotype?

Yo fuck hipsters. Don't know what they're talking about.
I think people who are friends with or have been friends with crusties know a lot more than you over-privileged rich twats judging everyone and sucking the life out of community.

I'd love nothing more than to find the douche who wrote this, smash his Apple to bits, and throw coffee in their face and watch the consumerist middle-class moron cry.

hey man can i get a dollar? I need to get enough change for some iced tea and i want to get into the citizen fish show cmon man help me out

Gutter punx piss me off too but what's worse are some over-privileged rich fucks that don't know shit about living in a city and think they're so high and mighty while they cause housing prices to rise and push people out of their homes.

I'd much rather live with a crusty because while s/he may be fucked up and trash the place or steal money, they don't steal the life and authenticity out of my neighborhood like a NYC hipster douche does.

If you want the BEST PIZZA in Williamsburg go to


poor william , you stupid fool.
Downright hateful should be the objective. Why accept the unacceptable, encourage the disgusting, and bank roll con artists. Tons of people are "addicts" that go to work , instead of begging on the corner from guilt riddled fools like you that "feel" for them and give them money.

might as well leak a dirty electro track called gutterpunk dedicated to them

maybe there's a pied piper who can lead them to the east village somehow..

this nyc gutter punk craze was sensational and naive from the beginning. this article though, is making it downright hateful.

#unfollow #distasteful

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