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Crazy Bubble Tea Ninja Bitches Will Fucking Kill You


The Bubble Tea Ninja Partiers who wrecked up the neighborhood the other night and are making other anarchists look bad took some time away from their anarchy to send out an official press release to communicate their reasoning -- just like the man would want them to.

In the release sent with the subject line, "WE’LL SHOW YOU CRAZY BITCHES: TAKE BACK THE NIGHT," they write, "Dressed in matching black skirts and masks, dozens gathered on Saturday evening for an anti-capitalist Take Back the Night march, stopping traffic on Bedford Avenue, overturning trashcans, and breaking windows."

But why, crazy bitches, did you do such things to ordinary citizens' physical property? Surely, a quaint little bubble tea shop isn't objectifying you, right?

"We are not asking for a right to the streets, we are taking them; we are not asking for advertisements that do not objectify women, we’re destroying the commercial mechanisms that objectify women; we are not appealing to male power for an end to rape, but threatening: 'If you touch me, I will fucking kill you.'"

I get it. Y'all are angry. But maybe realign your targets? I don't think smashing car windows and independent shop owners' store fronts is the right way to get your message across. It just, I don't know, muddles things. As you know, my response read: "While I appreciate your message, I think your actions are misguided and distracting. You guys come off as amateurs, breaking car windows and the lady's tea shop? Fight corporations and 'the man' all u like, but dudes, normal people's property is kinda fucked."

For the rest of you, their full release is posted after the jump. But that's who we're dealing with. Pissed off femarchists in black skirts who I swear to god will fuck up your Subaru, capitalist. And yes, kill you.

Their release:


BROOKLYN, NEW YORK – Dressed in matching black skirts and masks, dozens gathered on Saturday evening for an anti-capitalist Take Back the Night march, stopping traffic on Bedford Avenue, overturning trashcans, and breaking windows. Tired of tamely shouting slogans on campus sidewalks, we took the night back by taking it, refusing the structural mechanisms that create rapists and their victims.

Although in recent years Take Back the Night has been co-opted by liberal feminists, it has its roots in the widespread unrest of Italy in the late seventies. In 1976, a seventeen-year-old was gang-raped in Rome. A year later, when her case went to trial, she was gang-raped again by the same men: and this time, her whole body was slashed with razors in an attempt to keep her silent. Within hours, fifteen thousand women mobilized, uniformly dressed like the sex workers common to the district; “NO MORE MOTHERS, WIVES AND DAUGHTERS: LET’S DESTROY THE FAMILIES!” was the cry heard in the street. They came just short of burning the neighborhood to the ground.

Forty years later, we marched again, to refuse the violence that continues to force us to be housewives and fuck-toys and mothers and daddy’s girls, to refuse to understand women’s oppression in the private sphere as a simple cultural or ideological matter. We address capitalism and patriarchy as one intrinsically interconnected system. We are not asking for rights: we are demanding something else entirely.

A woman on the street stopped and attempted to begin an argument: “Why are you doing this?” A swift reply: “Because we have grown tired of rape and makeup.” The woman responds: “Just get drunk and get laid – deal with it.” But this is no longer enough for us. We are not asking for a right to the streets, we are taking them; we are not asking for advertisements that do not objectify women, we’re destroying the commercial mechanisms that objectify women; we are not appealing to male power for an end to rape, but threatening: “If you touch me, I will fucking kill you.”

For once, the mechanisms that create and maintain identities of womanhood were refused, and our desires were our own, our bodies were our own, and our violence was our own.

Also, next time, don't send out press releases at 6:00 pm on a Friday. Most bloggers are drunk and halfway to karaoke by that point.


This is outstanding. This is what real New York is all about. All the people whining about destruction of personal property dont realize that they would never have lived here when NY had some actual danger. I totally support what these women are doing. If you dont like it start your own gang instead of posting on a blog. Its about time someone started laying down some ass whippings on bedford.

Why not start a community outreach program? Why not host a self defense class and awareness education for women? Why not say no to capitalism and corporatocracy
by encouraging local trade? Cause you know destroying local, private business and property somehow speaks volumes about the role of women in society. This is totally the kind of crap I'd expect from privileged white kids in Williamsberg on tall-bikes.

I wonder if you idiots are going to cry and point fingers when one of you takes a baseball bat to the skull and ends up dead. The fact that you fools are actually legitimizing random violence is begging for one of you to get hurt. And when that happens, you'll deserve it.

If you are so motivated to seek change of some sort - find a cause and a real solution.

pathos to you, pathos to your victims. Violence is the evil here, and you are merely participants in the feedback loop. Or perhaps worse yet, children who now unsupervised wrap immature rebellion in the guise of "good" intentions and "just" passions. Intentions and passions that others may actually take seriously, and make serious measures with regard to their severity.

also, i dont' really fancy more cops around bk, so can you please move it to the island, where someone besides brooklyn blogs might even notice you. you could get in the post! woooooooo...

What's with the vulcan sideburns?

"was it really necessary to smash the front window on the door of my apartment building?"

Absolutely. Nothing personal.

It's painfully obvious that all of these "pro" comments are being staged and manufactured by the same people who wrote this "press release".

This is tragic on so many levels.

If this is an actual response to a literal experience of sexual violence, then of course this is sad.

But, regardless - the indiscriminate all consuming, self destructive nature of this is beyond depressing and it will burn itself out at the cost of itself and whoever else associates with it.

This is depressingly absurd.

I live on Bedford and N 6th and our front window was smashed in last night.

My guess is bubble tea feminist ninjas... Because it is the first thing I expect to be causing trouble.

I also notice a bunch of other smashed stuff along N 6th.

What a bunch of losers, do something useful and stop breaking my stuff.

was it really necessary to smash the front window on the door of my apartment building?


jacob onto is a piece of shit sexual assaulter. we are tired of
accountability processes that force the survivor to relive, over and over,
the trauma of assault; that force the survivor to put their reputation on
the line as “proof” of their credibility; that end up being an ineffective
recreation of the judicial process that leaves the perpetrator scot free,
while the survivor has to live through this for the rest of their life.

at the very least, the perpetrator should feel something, some lasting
mark of his behavior, something he will remember every time he has sex –
that is, if he ever has sex again. so we decided to make sure this is an
assault that jacob never fucking forgets.

we rolled in with a baseball bat. we pulled his books off his shelves: he
admitted it, not a single one mentioned consent. we made him say it: “i am
a rapist.” we left him crying in the dark on his bed: he will never feel
safe there again.

this is a precedent. this is the beginning of a new kind of accountability
process, one that leaves the perpetrator in pain – though this is still
only a tiny fraction of the pain that he has caused. we know that jacob is
not the only guilty one. we know there are more of you out there.

we are not sorry, and we will not stop: from now on, we will respond to
sexual violence with violence.

“if you touch me, i will fucking kill you.” let the roundups begin.

(a public service announcement: we encourage you to all use consent from
here on out. and let it be clear: consent is not the absence of a ‘no,’
but the presence of a ‘yes.’)

thought it was a pretty good job, ya know, for girls.

...the ideas behind the movement are just and agreeable. the movement to rid the world of patriarchal and capitalistic control should be supported and mobilized, but in places where it will accomplish something and fall in line with the point. williamsburg, brooklyn is not one of those places. "take the streets" in places where there are massive corporations and things of that nature. if you REALLY insist on smashing the windows of a coffee shop, smash something like a starbucks, not a bubble tea shop. destroying that of an independent shop owner isn't getting the anti-capitalist message across at just makes you look dumb.

What does it tell us that they gather to protest sexism in "matching black skirts and masks"?
Internalized oppression?
Patriarchal hegemony?
Stupid narcissist bitches?

No girls, this shit was sad. And, if "take back the night" was your real objective, I think you oughtta aim that energy somewheres else.

I really can't see the logic behind fucking up a bubble tea shop or smashing parked cars in a hideously gentrified, privileged neighborhood like WB....but go figure...

Too bad you geniuses didn't cross the bridge and *really* fuck up Vogue, et al. Uncle Karl and D & G...cuz, aren't *they* the ones doing the perpetrating ? OR would that be tooo risque for might actually go to jail...Yeah, cuz WB is your little Disneyland.

And why stop there?....doesn't it bother you that more and more immigrant women have to leave their own children and care for white yuppie brats to earn their livings? Don't see you girls lifting a finger behind *that*....Yeah, but you were probably raised by a phillipina nanny and hope to get one of your own once you spawn in Park Slope.

And speaking of RAPE, why aren't you on Bloomturd's dick for falsifying the crime stats....or on NYPD to improve investigation of these crimes..or NY Mag for hyping crime ridded areas like they were Shangri La....?

I suspect for you girls its more about making a big public splash...
comming to WB like it was a stage and shit for you to experiment with political fashions and street theatre. Why else would you stage it in WB, the shitty performance art capital of the world?

Being a liberal feminist is hard enough without hearing "feminazi" left and right whenever we ask for things as simple as equal pay for equal work. Now these people are making us look even worse. Thanks a lot, morons. I'm sure the 1 in 6 women who have been raped think that this is totally the best way to go about handling things.

ugh. women.

Oh, great, more bored college kids wrecking shit in my neighborhood. Of course they're starting shit in Williamsburg - if they tried this in Manhattan they'd get arrested in a second, since it's a police state.

Here's your quick job-aid to determine whether or not article marketing is working for you.Air Jordan 1,Don't judge your article marketing results by your sales, or newsletter sign-ups, etc.Jordan Retro 1,Judge it by your hit counter. Why?Air Jordans 1, Because, you may have a lousy product, or an unattractive website, maybe your price point is all wrong, maybe your product isn't in demand

"State violence against women (as the fast-growing incarcerated group) is growing every day" ...If your motive is at least in part due to state institutionalized objectification than attack some state property rather than that of persons that for all you know feel the same way you do. I can't say I totally sympathize with the relatively comfortable income of car owners living in Williamsburg but it seems like such a safe and rather un-balsy (or un-fallopian-tuby, if you will) move to attack property in Williamsburg which is probably the most tolerant neighborhood in NYC in terms of acts committed of this nature. If you really want to align your actions with what you say your cause is than attack something more institutional: city property, a church, etc. and do it in Manhattan or Brooklyn Heights or somewhere that makes a little more sense. As of now it seems your preaching to the choir but good luck.

this seems like an entirely appropriate response to the daily fact that violence against women is mostly ignored or dealt with in un-constructive ways in our society, while State violence against women (as the fast-growing incarcerated group) is growing every day.

maybe people will begin to take violence against women as seriously as they take broken windows.

I wholeheartedly support these feminists literal smashing of the morally bankrupt capitalist, patriarchal, sexist system. Burn this country down, it is forsaken. Death to America.

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