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May 29, 2010

Say 'Hebbo' to Tarvuism!

There's a new Church of Tarvu recruitment video:

The original after the jump:

Continue reading "Say 'Hebbo' to Tarvuism!" »

May 12, 2010

Brownstone: New Brooklyn-inspired Font

Ale Paul, a designer, and his friend Jon Parker developed a new Brooklyn-inspired font called Brownstone. The full font files, which include alternates, small caps, uppercase ligatures, lowercase ligatures, frame characters, frames, and punctuation, is available via this link.


Here's how the designer describes it:

Brownstone, the face born from these explorations, is an original 21st-century design, yet one subtly infused with historical and cultural references - keen observers might spot influences from decorative typefaces of 19th-century foundries. And just as faces from that era were influenced by contemporary architecture, the frames included with Brownstone echo the ornate iron railings of Park Slope's row houses. (There's also a slight 1960s vibe to Brownstone, of novelty swash-sans photocompositing faces, that can be played up at your discretion.)

Influences aside, Brownstone has broad appeal to modern audiences. A soft, monoline sans-serif, with elements of Swiss geometry (see the 'k' and 'x'), its marriage of highly legible, draftsman-like letterforms with decorative swashes and ornaments reflects the old-meets-new aesthetic of the DIY craft culture seen in Brooklyn and other urban centers. It's ornamental but unfussy, romantic but understated - a design theme well-suited to recession-era cynicism.

via Typography Served

May 06, 2010

The most efficient use of apartment space... ever

Wait, so how exactly can one fit 24 rooms into a 344 square foot apartment? Oh, by being an absolute genius.

It's about time someone designed a place where the rooms come to me instead the other way around. Just think about how many more residents the Domino Sugar developers could squeeze in if they utilized this kind of design!

May 05, 2010

Happy Cinco De Mayo

Oh, and a big F.U. to the morons who are supporting Arizona's backwards immigration law. (NSFW)

Original Video- More videos at TinyPic

May 04, 2010

Trade your art for a doctor's visit.

Got the sniffles? Instead of waiting for the Obama plan to kick in, did you know you can trade your art (or music, film, acting, dance, or anything really) for medical care at the Bushwick-based Woodhull Hospital?

As the blog Brokelyn reports, the plan is called Artist Access and allows folks to volunteer their skills, time and/or services to the hospital in exchange for credits (1 hour = about $40 worth of care). And it's not just emergency room visits either -- you can trade for dental work or even prescription drugs.

All participants must be NYC residents, making a living through art (of any kind), and will need to first enroll in HHC Options, one of New York City's low-to medium-income health care plans.

So quit googling your symptoms (those results can be scary y'all) or hitting your friends up for their expired prescriptions and go to the damn doctor already.

H/T Brokelyn

April 21, 2010

Meet Walter, Lucky Puppy of Brooklyn


This is a short story about a puppy named Walter.

He was found wandering the streets of Brooklyn Easter night of this year, scared and burned after having been "dipped in chemicals" and thrown from a car by someone who had presumably tried to cure the little guy of a case of the Mange.

Alex Darsey, resident on 15th Street and 3rd Avenue, found him and took him to the vet, where he was given antibiotics and medicated soap to treat his raw skin. Things were looking up. But then, his temperature and desire to eat went south. Walter had to go back to the vet, where, "his temperature was so low it didn't register on the thermometer" and he had to go get fluids from an IV & go in a heated incubator. Medical expenses for Darsey and his friends were getting expensive. So, they asked the internet for some help.

A little over a week later, thanks to the donations of many generous individuals via the internet, Walter is going to be just fine and "grow up a healthy, loved, and happy dog." They have enough money to pay for his care, and thanks to the staff at The Veterinary Emergency Referral Group, Walter is going to live happily ever after, the end.

Quotes via Help Save Walter; photo via the Facebook group.

April 20, 2010

Clip: Zach Galifianakis in Tim and Eric, Awesome Show, Great Job!

Zach Galifianakis (whose last name movable type hilariously spell-checks to egalitarianism or galileans) shows up in this coming Sunday's episode of Tim and Eric, Awesome Show, Great Job! as "the greatest dancer of his generation" and now leotard-clad dance instructor who rules with an iron lip.

Clip via Pop Candy

April 09, 2010

Earl and Tiger Ad Remix (Lion King Edition)

March 26, 2010

Broogle or Googlyn, It Works!


via the Greenpoint / Williamsburg for Google Fiber Optic Facebook page.

March 25, 2010

Bklyn Chatroulette Site Offering $100 for Best Screengrab


While nobody from this neck of the woods has popped up on the Chatroulette Map, we know you're out there! You can't hide forever!! Anyways, want to make $100 for ChatRoulette'n?

We spoke with one of our neighbors, a Williamsburg resident who we'll call Agent Chatbro for the sake of anonymity, who runs Chatroulette Images - a rather hilarious and ongoing collection of the best screengrabs in the biz.

For a contest that wraps up at the end of the month, he's rewarding $100 for the top-rated photo submitted in the past 31 days. You've still got time! Just submit your photo to [email protected] and include a headline and caption along with your name and email. G'luck!

p.s. - while you're at it, why not play a lil' chatroulette bingo?

March 24, 2010

O Brooklyn! My Brooklyn!

An excerpt from Walt Whitman's "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry" as retold by Brooklynites. [Thanks Heather]

March 17, 2010

Every Time You Don't Tip


God builds condos downtown!

Via Chrysanthe, who spotted this note in Austin. I like to think it applies to us back here in the 'Burg as well. Tip your bartenders, folks.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Ben Stiller

March 15, 2010

"The Sandpit": A Day in the Life of NYC

The Sandpit from Sam O'Hare on Vimeo.

The music is by Human, co-written by Rosi Golan and Alex Wong. How was it made?

Sam O'Hare:

It is shot on a Nikon D3 (and one shot on a D80), as a series of stills. I used my Tamron 17-50mm f/2.8 and Sigma 50-150mm f/2.8 lenses for all of these shots. Most were shot at 4fps in DX crop mode, which is the fastest the D3 could continuously write out to the memory card. The boats had slower frame rates, and the night shots used exposures up to two seconds each. The camera actually has an automatic cut off after 130 shots, so for longer shots I counted each click and quickly released and re-pressed the shutter release after 130 to keep shooting.

How many stills you ask? 35,000 stills! Kottke correctly notes it it feels like something you can "hold in your hands or put in your pocket."

March 01, 2010

Subway on a Sunday!

What DO you do in this situation?! Keep on walking or ride it out?

Williamsburg Hair Man Revealed

Turns out his name is Chris Lancaster. Our buddies over at And I Am Not Lying have the whole story in case you missed it.

February 11, 2010

Snow lion sphinx cave at McCarren



January 28, 2010

Awkward Stock Photos


I see your Unhappy Hipsters and raise you Awkward Stock Photos.

January 20, 2010

Up-and-coming infrastructure manager proposes L express route.


Faaaantastic. Find a few more hits after the jump, including "L service restored with residual delays," "New L express route experiencing service interruptions," and "L is experiencing delays due to police investigation," all with esteemed hat-tipping to @FakeMTA & Buzzfeed.

Continue reading "Up-and-coming infrastructure manager proposes L express route." »

December 15, 2009

Free Section of Williamsburg's Craigslist

For the love of God, someone please claim this.



I made this Towelie costume for Halloween and have no further use for it. Please come and take it if you need it!! I can leave the cardboard I used to keep the shoulders up in if you want, but I can't garauntee if will be in the best shape. Also please note this only includes the blue towel part, not the shirt or socks underneath.

Let me know if you want it! Otherwise it will just be thrown out!

December 02, 2009

3rd Ward Specials

Just got an e-mail from 3rd Ward with their specials for this month and there are some doozies.

Introduction to MIG Welding // In this workshop each student will create an imaginative sculpture in steel. While making the sculpture, students will learn the fundamentals of how to mig weld, fabricate, and use other shop equipment and tools. All materials and safety gear will be provided. This class comes with a two day shop pass to work on your projects outside of class time.

Class Duration: 3 Sessions ◊ Time: 7-10p ◊ Wednesdays December 2, 9 & 16 ◊ Register by Nov 27
NOW // Member Price: $180 Nonmember Price: $200 Equipment Fee: $35

After Effects Intro // Open a veritable Pandora's Box for enhancing artistic projects across any digital medium. Create dynamic text, composite imagery and animate photographs and still imagery. You leave class with an original Quicktime movie for your portfolio.

Class Duration: 3 Sessions ◊ Time: 7-10p ◊ Wednesdays December 9, 16 & 23 ◊ Register by Dec 6
NOW // Member Price: $150 Nonmember Price: $180

Intro to Dreamweaver // You will learn the basics of web design using Dreamweaver; the industry standard software for web design. You will build your own website by the end of the class.

Class Duration: 6 Sessions ◊ Time: Noon-3p ◊ Sundays December 13, 20 & January 10, 17, 24 & 31 ◊ Register by Dec 10
NOW // Member Price: $295 Nonmember Price: $360

November 19, 2009

New Video: Gabe and Max's 100 Seconds #1

Max Silvestri and Gabe Delahaye are two funny people who hold court every week at Cameo (93 North 6th Street) for their show Big Terrific, which features an ever-rotating circle of other funny people, right here in sunny Williamsburg!

They are now making funny videos for a new show about gadgets and bus reviews from the top of the Empire State Building Tavern on the Green some studio on Here is their first: Gabe and Max's 100 Seconds #1!!!

Update: I originally and incorrectly said it was Max and Gabe Liedman, but it is in fact Gabe Delahaye. We can only blame Max here for associating with too many Gabe's. He writes: "while I do host Big Terrific with the hilarious Gabe Liedman, occasional contributor to Videogum, the Gabe & Max videos are made with Delahaye, editor of Videogum and occasional performer on Big Terrific. Confusing, right???" Double Indeed! (Comment correction of the correction noted!)

November 12, 2009

Liquid Marijuana Seized in Brooklyn

Liquid Marijuana? Of course this begs the question, where do we get some?

In what the police called an unusual drug arrest, a Brooklyn man was charged on Wednesday with selling liquid marijuana.

“It has not been seen around here before,” said Capt. Gerard Dowling of the Manhattan South narcotics division, referring to a dark green mixture of alcohol and marijuana.

The police said they seized eight Mason jars of the substance on Wednesday from the home of the man, Anthony Briordy, 32. They said they also seized cocaine and prescription painkillers, including OxyContin.

An undercover officer began purchasing the liquid and other drugs from Mr. Briordy about two months ago, the police said. Mr. Briordy was said to have told the officer that the liquid was often mixed with fruit punch.

The police said that throughout the investigation, Mr. Briordy told the officer that he made the mixture at home and that a four-ounce dose of it was stronger than one marijuana cigarette.

The liquid was classified as a controlled substance, the police said, after laboratory tests determined that it was an extremely potent form of marijuana.

October 28, 2009

Flavorpill Halloween 2009

fp_halloween_2009.jpg We're pretty excited about this party. A great line-up and all the proceeds will benefit a good cause:

Flavorpill's Halloween party is this week!

The theme this year is "Gods and Heroes," and all proceeds benefit charity: water. We'll have The Very Best headlining and our sponsors, Stoli, Dos Equis, and HobNob Wines, will provide an open bar all night.

The Very Best
The Dry Eye Crew
DJ Stretch Armstrong

It's at a secret Brooklyn location (accessible by many trains) and we'll e-mail you the night of to reveal it.

Don't miss out - tickets are $35 and selling fast.

Check it out at:

Defending the Bar


"With one hand, they pour your drinks. With the other, they carry a bat." So begins this thrilling piece at the Brooklyn Paper that looks at what weapons Brooklyn bartenders keep behind the bar.

We learn 4th Avenue Pub in Park Slope stocks a wooden bat, the East River Bar by the foot of the W'burg bridge keeps pepper spray at arm's length, and Duff’s just relies on their patrons to get their back with the weaponry on the walls.

“There are tons of weapons all over the place,” she said, a mace, a sword and other objets de guerre within reach. “They are more for show, but they’re accessible to us. Big swords and stuff like that.”

Bartenders: look into the gun theme and hang a few shotguns on the walls. Y'know, "for show."

[photo c/o The Brooklyn Paper / Ben Muessig]

Cassette from My Ex: Stories and Soundtracks of Lost Loves


I'm in a great new anthology called Cassette from My Ex that hit the shelves on Tuesday. Here's the scoop:

Cassette from My Ex: Stories and Soundtracks of Lost Loves shares sixty hilarious, nostalgic and heartbreaking stories stories all about crushes and mixtapes. CFME compiles stories from some amazing writers and musicians: author Rick Moody, The Magnetic Fields’ Claudia Gonson, This American LIfe’s Starlee Kine, The New Yorker’s Ben Greenman, Blender Magazine’s Joe Levy, Improv Everywhere’s Charlie Todd, Mortified’s David Nadelberg—even a new story from the godfather of the genre, Rob Sheffied. We put a ton of love into the design, too, with 224 full-color pages designed by noted cassetteophile Lissi Erwin, with cover illustrations by the excellent Hope Gangloff.
You can order Cassette from My Ex here.

There will be a release party at Housing Works in NY tonight, so come on out if you can. (Much more interesting than yelling at a TV screen while men hit balls with bats). Here's the info:

Cassette From My Ex Book Launch and Mixtape Variety Show
Celebrating the release of Cassette From My Ex: Stories and Soundtracks of Lost Loves, editor Jason Bitner presents along with contributors Claudia Gonson (The Magnetic Fields), Joe Levy (Maxim Magazine), and Michael Hearst (One Ring Zero).  Our expert panel will shed light on the power of mixtapes and share their own tales of tapes given and received, crushes turned to heartaches.  And special bonus!  Illustrator Arthur Jones presents his hilarious loss-of-virginity tale as a Post-It Note Story.

October 26, 2009

American Gothic

A little peek at a famous painting's inspiration to start your week off creatively.


via fffound and The Daily What

October 15, 2009

Man of Steel Attempts to Buy Beer in Magnetic Bodega

October 06, 2009

There's No Trains

Hello? With the red shirt on sittin' on the bench? There's no trains! With the beard?

And to think...she's not even from Manhattan.

[via The Awl]

September 29, 2009

Finding Love (and Sex) in Brooklyn


Brooklyn Based polled their friends to find the best spots in the borough to find love and romance. Surprisingly, Union Pool shone through with the most mentions, which I don't know what that says about our humanity but basically means you're better off prowling Craigslist.

Some of your relevant love spots for Williamsburg, which racked up all the points for getting laid from a bar pick-up, are: Union Pool, Royal Oak, Macri Park, Second Chance, IONA, etc. etc., you know the drill.

For the rest of us not trying to bang a bed bug sippin' on a coconut, check out the rest of their fantastic tips for lurrrve.

(photo via)

September 17, 2009

COTD: The Hive-mind

Comment of the Day: Amy, on naming the next cool beer: "i vote we cut the hive-mind shit and we each drink whatever beer we personally like."

September 16, 2009

An Interview with Tao Lin, Author of Shoplifting From American Apparel


I was already sitting at my computer on Monday when I "sat down" with Tao Lin (blog, twitter), author of the recently released Shoplifting From American Apparel, to have a little gchat about being fucked, Dan Brown's new book, and his new life as an internet t-shirt model.

I volunteered that we'd keep this interview embargoed until next week sometime, but am posting it now so the New York Times will see they're not the only ones breaking those things these days.

Here, have a look at what we talked about!

An Interview with Tao Lin, author of Shoplifting From American Apparel

me: hello

tao: hi

me: shall we chat?

tao: yes

(No, that's not it! There's more! After the jump...)

Continue reading "An Interview with Tao Lin, Author of Shoplifting From American Apparel" »

September 09, 2009

National Bestseller Installation on Metropolitan


One of Jordan Seiler's National Bestseller pieces recently popped up in the phonebooth at Metropolitan and Lorimer.

On his site, he explains the project:

National Bestseller is an ongoing project happening on a bi-weekly basis in NYC Phonebooths. Each piece is created using a single national bestseller or popular modern title. This book is then released of its spine and wheat pasted back together into a single sheet. For every 9 regular pieces I put up there will be a tenth like the one pictured below. These images, accompanied by a red treatment serve as a counting system for what will surely be a large project. If you see a red one, know there are probably 9 others nearby.

It is constructed of wheat-pasted pages from Elizabeth George's 1993 murder mystery For the sake of Elena, which follows the winding last path of a murdered deaf student at Cambridge University.

Here's a photo via Wooster Collective, and below the jump feel free to peruse the embedded book preview.


Continue reading "National Bestseller Installation on Metropolitan" »

August 26, 2009

Jimmy Tarangelo: Man In Van

Jimmy Tarangelo is an effing badass. He doesn't like paying rent, but he does like living in Manhattan. So what does he do? He lives in a van down by the river, literally.

I spent a few hours with Jimmy and let him speak his mind.

-- by Sean Dunne

August 25, 2009

Steel Drum "Transmission"

Who knew Joy Division would translate so well to an orchestra of steel drums being transported on a flatbed truck? [via]

August 20, 2009

Extreme Shepherding

August 19, 2009

NYPD on a Vintage Moped


I love this picture. It's from a Wired post, Rebels Without a Hog: Inside Brooklyn’s Moped Gang, that looks at the Orphans, a Greenpoint "biker" gang. More on that later.

During an unfortunate ride, Brian McCrocklin was arrested for riding a moped that was reported stolen.

Because the Hells Satans were visiting from Richmond, they didn’t bring their own bikes and Ryan Due let them borrow a few from the shop — one of which belonged to Due and was stolen last year. Due recovered the bike on his own and never resolved the matter with the police. McCrocklin spent the afternoon in jail while Due smoothed things out. McCrocklin was released with no fines.

(photo via Bryan Derballa/

August 13, 2009

Store Front New York


As we lament the ongoing transformation of New York into a giant collection of Chipotles, Pinkberrys, and board-run mini-chains, we were delighted to discover that the husband and wife duo of James & Karla Murray are doing their part to record its vanishing history. They recently published a great book called "Store Front — The Disappearing Face of New York" featuring hundreds of photos of New York's vanishing storefront facades.

Store Front – The Disappearing Face of New York is a visual guide to New York City’s timeworn storefronts, a collection of powerful images that capture the neighborhood spirit, familiarity, comfort and warmth that these shops once embodied. Almost all of these businesses are a reflection of New York’s early immigrant population, a wild mix of Irish, Germans, Jews, Italians, Poles, Eastern Europeans and later Hispanics and Chinese.
The variety is immense from Manhattan’s Yonah Schimmel Knish Bakery and Katz’s Delicatessen to the Jackson Heights Florist in Queens, Court Street Pastry in Brooklyn, D. D’Auria and Sons Pork Store in the Bronx and the De Luca General Store on Staten Island. And as the Murray’s stunning, large format photographs make patently clear, the face of New York is etched in their facades.
You can pick up the book here. And to get a taste of their amazing project, check out this great documentary below. Thanks James & Karla. We appreciate your work. [hat tip Rumproast]

August 04, 2009

Biking Rules! (And So Does Winning Four Grand)


We're so happy that NY is finally becoming a biker-friendly city. Help make it more so and qualify to win some hard cold cash:

Transportation Alternatives, NYC's leading advocates for cycling, announces the Biking Rules PSA Competition!

Submit PSAs (moving or still images ) with creative messages cyclists can follow for Rules of the Road and/or Why Biking Rules! to encourage new and old riders alike to get out and ride.

Grand Prize is $4000 cash and other prizes include a free Kona Bike, a consumer camera, and tons of cycling gear! Go to to submit and learn more about the Competition. Deadline to enter is August 31, 2009!

Still Images: including photography, poster art, graphic design, illustrations...

Videos: including narratives, documentaries, animations, and any other moving image. Entrants can submit both Do-It-Yourself Videos made with cell phones or consumer grade cameras or High-Definition Videos made with professional HD or HDV Cameras

Sign up and/or find our more here. [image via]

July 23, 2009


MoMA has one of my favorite websites; it's pretty, has intuitive interface and lots of fun flash. So I was not surprised in the least to find they would have an interactive visit planner that has such lovely design. The planner logs into your facebook, asks a couple of questions and then plans a full day of MoMA activities suited to your taste.


According to my planner, I should go August 6th and watch Lord of the Rings, go tot the gallery talk about Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera, and Mexican Modernism, and see the James Ensor exhibit. Well, I'm glad my August 6th is sufficiently scheduled with all of my favorite things.

(via Swiss Miss)

July 22, 2009

Boyfriend Criteria (You're All Doomed)


A lovely young thing compiled this list of her notable boyfriend criteria. Among the desired characteristics: smart, funny, likes comics, art and good shoes.

Among the negatives: annoying, tight pants, bad tattoos, "think you're soooo smart," bad hair, and bad music.

In other words, the majority of our neighborhood males are undesirable boyfriends! It's time to start looking elsewhere, ladies.

[via buzzfeed]

July 09, 2009

Important PSA: Don’t Kill Coney! Fix the Plan!

Coney Island needs your help. At the end of this month, politicians will be voting on a controversial measure to stick a number of large, sun-sucking hotels right in the heart of Coney Island. But this doesn't have to happen. Coney Island USA and the “Mayor” of Coney created this friendly but important little PSA to sum things up and show off an alternative plan to save Coney Island:

“Politicians DO listen to the public. Make some noise; July is the month,” says Zigun, who rallied on the steps of City Hall last month with the grassroots group Save Coney Island.“The future of Coney Island is being decided now. It’s an American treasure; let’s develop it the right way, the good way.”

If you feel like getting involved and speaking out, you can find your City Councilmember by typing in your street address and borough on the City Council’s About page.

For more reading, visit Amusing the Zillion.

July 07, 2009

This Is How We're Always Going To Remember Michael

Yacht Rock MJ: "How am I supposed to stick my dick in some pussy, when you got me singing like one"

Undoubtedly, you've all seen Yacht Rock already. If not, go here and watch them all. They're a few years old, but they still hold up amazingly well. The Wikipedia summary of the plot, is almost as hilarious as the videos. Check it out after the jump.

Continue reading "This Is How We're Always Going To Remember Michael" »

July 03, 2009

The Bruno Quoting Taskforce

July 01, 2009

Zach Galifianakis' Upcoming Movie Keeps Looking Stranger

Check out the official Visioneers trailer here.

June 22, 2009

Autotune the News #5

June 09, 2009

Big Terrific: One-Year Anniversary Show


Big Terrific, the comedy show hosted by Gabe Liedman & Max Silvestri, is having its big old baby's first birthday party tomorrow (wed.) night at Cameo, back behind The Lovin' Cup. It's been a big year for them. They used to be at Sound Fix you guys before all that landlordy shit went down. But it's OK, because they never stopped bringin' the funnies.

From the facebook event:

Holy shit, everybody. It's been a whole year since BIG TERRIFIC was born! So much has happened (pretty much only OctoMom, right?)!

We sure hope you'll come out tomorrow night and help us celebrate! You'll be in great company, with these retardedly wonderful comedians:

and MORE!
(More is my favorite comedian, who's yours?)

As always, if you come, Max and I will kiss you ANYWHERE! Hey, it's our anniversary, it's the least we could do.

Cameo's at 93 n 6th, btw Berry and Wythe. Bring no quarters, dimes, nickels or pennies because it's free. Starts at 8pm.

May 31, 2009

Auto-Tune The News #4

May 28, 2009

Moog + Schaefer + 70s = Awesome

It's not even noon, but yes, I do want a Schaefer now.

May 27, 2009

G Train to Connect Williamsburg and Park Slope


Despite The Brooklyn Paper's headline which made us slightly queasy: "MTA finally finds your G-spot with extended service," we're delighted this is finally happening. I guess we should expect more headlines like this, now that Murdoch is running the show. As our friend Kevin pointed out, it could have been worse: “Marty Markowitz finds your G-spot with extended service.”

From Brooklyn Paper:

The G train will be extended to Church Avenue in July, creating the first direct link between trendy Williamsburg and posh Park Slope.

The service boost, scheduled to go into effect on July 5, became necessary because of planned track work along the elevated section of the F and G lines in Carroll Gardens and Park Slope.

This is of course very exciting news and worthy of a much better headline. So, SUBMIT YOUR OWN IN COMMENTS.

May 17, 2009

Auto-Tune the News #3

These just keep getting better:

May 14, 2009

"I Love Delis"

We'd all agreed over here to never mention white boy rapper Asher Roth on this site. We'd prefer to just sort of let him fade away into cultural obscurity on his own. His retarded ode to pizza, frat boys and jelly shooters, "I Love College," was just too much to bear.

Thankfully, this hilarious and, um, high concept remix by Landline somehow seems highbow in comparison. And yes, fuck the Quizno's, fuck the Subway!!


Check out Landline's "Obamtourage" after the jump

Continue reading ""I Love Delis"" »

May 13, 2009

Williamsburg "Sock Off" Photo Winners


Williamsboard members have spent the last few days jerking off to this epic thread, in which Dov Charney-sucking vixens post self-pics of themselves wearing hipster socks in various states of undress. Here are your FW-recommended winners to the Williamsboard Williamsburg Sock Off, after the (NSFW) jump...

Continue reading "Williamsburg "Sock Off" Photo Winners" »

Important Artifacts

Currently, my literary obsession is with Important Artifacts and Personal Property from the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion, and Jewelry by Leann Shapton.
Shapton charts the (fictional) rise and fall of a relationship through an auction house listing of 325 items given or collected during the four years the characters Lenora and Harold dated. Books, love letters, photos, stolen salt and pepper shakers from dates, unwanted gifts from the other's mother, mix tapes and phone bills, you name it, it lends itself to the story. It's quite refreshing to read the old, inevitably doomed love story in a new structure that has you turning the page back to see how pieces fit. I mean, really, when's the last time you interacted with a book like that? Harold's Brooklyn address is revealed, but alas! He is a Prospect Heights resident (yes, I'm so into the story that I google mapped an address). I'm not really doing this book justice but I'm going to reread and return it to the library, so someone should get on it asap.

Interestingly enough, Shapton's website displays the page that is also in the self portrait I took this weekend.


May 12, 2009

Just Another Job Listing


Are you a recent college graduate who would enjoy working out of a "home office" in Williamsburg 2-3 days a week doing things like "data entry, research, organization, client communications"?

If you're interested, you should have "awesome PC skills, be a great Internet researcher, be a go-getter, and very creative." It pays $10/hr, with the potential to make $30/hr if you move up the ranks.

To do that, you should know how to give a good striptease. Inquire within. Below the jump, check out some video of one of the instructors at the company demonstrating some of the moves you'll need to learn.

Update: They have a blog! And they have a blog with a post about a guy who used to come into a bar to buy shots of pee for $50 or $100 bucks. For realz: "He would come into the club and request that a girl pee in to a shot glass or beer bottle so that he could drink it. I think he was paying like 50, 100 bucks and this was like 10 yrs ago. So it was easy money." But the girl actually had her male DJ's do it cuz she couldn't aim. Hah! Must have been the Turkey's Nest?

Continue reading "Just Another Job Listing" »

May 07, 2009

I Hope He Got Some Action From This Little Ditty

[via Buzzfeed]

May 06, 2009

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis & Natalie Portman

We apologize for the excess number of videos today, but we have a policy that demands that all Zach Galifianakis videos run immediately. Especially if they involve Natalie Portman.


Death Metal Grandparents


May 05, 2009

Quimby The Mouse

Via This American Life's Vimeo:

A video put together by Chris Ware for [the] spring 2009 event "This American Life -- Live!" -- in which Ira Glass hosts an actual episode of the radio program... The song in this video is "Eugene" by Andrew Bird. Animation by John Kuramoto. Permission to post this video has been granted by the contributors.
And don't miss the This American Life show for which the video was created. Especially Dan Savage (around the 38 minute mark). Savage's story about his mother is hilarious and heartbreaking. [thanks Rumproast]

RNC Clown College

These are so well done! See the whole set: RNC Clown College - on Flickr


May 04, 2009

Breaking: Obama Makes iPhone Stocks App Green Again


After months of intense negotiations and billion dollar bailouts, it appears that Barack Obama, 44th President of the iUnited States of America, has finally fixed our stupid iPhone app for stocks and made it green again.

CNN is reporting that "(the iPhone) Stocks (app) end(ed) at multimonth highs on encouraging economic data. S&P ends above 900 for first time since January 8.(and it looks much prettier now)," and upon fact checking and following up it appears this is indeed true. It is beautiful.

Local iPhone and "the color green" enthusiast Elizabeth G. expressed her excitement to us over AIM. "It went up! Yay!," she wrote, adding "Looks perrrty."

We can indeed confirm that the Stocks iPhone app is green and on the up-swing once again. Apple has yet to respond to multiple requests for comment.

April 27, 2009

Auto-Tune Monday

Hearing Katie Couric auto-tuned helped us stop worrying about Swine Fever for a whole 10 minutes. It's Auto-Tune the News:


A couple more auto-tune gems after the jump.

Continue reading "Auto-Tune Monday" »

April 20, 2009

Brooklyn's Got Balls

Click for larger

Per this map (CAE, circa 2000), we're located somewhere around the north testicle and the L train will take you straight along the "tip" of Manhattan. Via Kottke, who went with the "suck my Manhattan" and "I'll kick you in the Brooklyn" jokes.

April 14, 2009

We Have Our Shit Right [updated]


Poster Boy commented on the Brooklyn Paper's recent article about his upcoming event at 3rd Ward, defending himself against their rather New York Post-ish title, "Poster Boy sells out in Bushwick," writing:

Who's selling out? I'm giving people an opportunity to partake in some large scale collage. The ad's are not provided by any sponsers [sic]. Dogfish, Harper, and the Brooklyn Salsa Company have offered to "go under the knife" but that would defeat the purpose of Poster Boy. I've indiscriminately "borrowed" the ads myself. Get your sh!t right:

Damn straight, bitches. Animal adds that "if the ads aren’t unsanctioned, it’s not really 'vandalism,'" and while that's true, everybody needs to remember who these companies are in the first place that have offered to "go under the knife" anyway. Brooklyn Salsa, Dogfish (a 30-barrel microbrewery) and Harpers Perenial (HarperCollins imprint specializing in new and young authors). This is not Pepsi offering gold-plated exacto knives to the Bushwick artist(s). Everybody chill out. Oh, and PB...we'd love to speak with you. Hit us up.

Update 4/15 from Poster Boy:
"Bucky [Animal] is absolutely right, "if the ads aren’t unsanctioned, it’s not really 'vandalism,'" I won't say much on how I'm getting the ads. I can tell you that the sole purpose of the sponsers [sic] is to provide the beer. They have nothing to do with Poster Boy at this event. There was a miscommunication between the organizers and Poster Boy. The organizers didn't know the material was being provided by Poster Boy.....Back to the event. This is NOT a show of Poster Boy's work. This is an opportunity to create Poster Boy style work in a controlled environment. Most people aren't willing to partake in vandalism. I'm hoping this, seemingly, innocuous act will encourage people rethink advertising and their environment. Then maybe those people will build up enough courage to do something on their own time. That's all I want out of this, nothing else."

Do you read that correctly? Poster Boy can only exist IF YOU WILL HIM TO.

Above image via Poster Boy's Flickr. Speaking of which...think this has anything to do with the Paper's sudden disregard for PB?

If the Mountain Goats Scored Super Mario


Michel Gondry Portraits

For $19.95, our esteemed neighbor Michel Gondry will draw your portrait. That is all. Get your order in early...

FREElert: Booze!

In case your hump days (wait, it's tuesday? fuck.) pride themselves on being unnecessarily sober, Glasslands promises "free booze and eclectic times" tonight with performances by Awesome New Republic, Das Racist, Wild Yaks and DJ Jon Kirby. (via My Open Bar)

April 13, 2009

Michael Bay Signs $50M Deal To Fuck Up 'Thundercats'

We're just happy when anybody makes fun of Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer. From the Onion [via]

"I couldn't be more excited to completely fuck this up," said Bay, who plans to begin production on destroying the live-action adaptation next month. "ThunderCats has a great story, endearing characters, action, adventure, space-travel, and fantasy. It will be an honor to run it into the ground."

"I'll use every directorial tool I have to suck the very life and charm out of this beloved cartoon," added Bay, claiming that the film could turn out to be the most colossal piece of shit he's ever worked on. "I won't rest until I get every last scene exactly wrong."


The 'Fuck It Phenomenon'


FREEwilliamsburg founder Robert Lanham is giving the recession the finger over at Salon:

As I was lying beneath a lustrous sun last week, with a top-shelf daiquiri in my hand, at a luxury resort that I couldn't afford in good economic times, I thought to myself: So what if we're on the brink of the next Great Depression? This was a good decision. [...]

There'd be plenty of time for boiling raccoon bones into soup broth, I rationalized, should a full-fledged depression hit, but for now I was going to enjoy my drink and watch the azure waves crest into gold. I was on a beach in the lovely town of Tulum, Mexico. And I was relaxed. This was my "last hurrah" vacation. [...]

"I call it the 'fuck-it phenomenon,'" said Matt Wallaert, a social psychologist with the financial advice site Thrive. "Everywhere you go the media tells you that things aren't going to get better any time soon," he said. "But if you feel like life has dealt you a bad hand, it's easy to say, 'Fuck it, I deserve this.'"

Read it all here.

April 09, 2009

Pay Me to Sh*t On Your Cabbage


Vegetarians are supposed to be sexy, right?

Hello There--

My friend and I don't eat animals or any animal products. We understand the value of good, fresh, fertilizer and are willing to stop by your garden and "unload" on your plants for a small, negotiable fee.

Only serious replies, please.

Location: Brooklyn, NY

Thanks, Craigslist!

Jesus Vs The Pope

April 07, 2009

New Online Series: 'Pilot Season'

From MyDamnChannel:

Sneak peek of the new series coming Monday, 4/20 to PILOT SEASON. 30 episodes every Monday. Jam packed with comic geniuses like Sam Seder and Sarah Silverman. And, David Cross, Andy Dick and Isla Fisher.
More sneak previews here.

April 03, 2009

Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out, Rush

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Rush Limbaugh Leaves New York
Daily Show Full EpisodesEconomic CrisisPolitical Humor

April 02, 2009

All Day, Every Day [Subway Poster]


The New York City subways: service changes all day, every day.

via WTF & Benjamin Stein

April 01, 2009

Are You Pete Nice or Peaches Geldof?

The L Magazine's got a little Brooklyn cred quiz to see how well you know this here village. Sample question: On which street in Williamsburg can you get arepas, bibimbap, burritos, prawn crisps, buffalo mozzarella, vegetarian chicken wings and a haircut? Answers: Grand, No. 6th or In the mini-mall...

Answer is after the jump. Go take the quiz, fools.

Continue reading "Are You Pete Nice or Peaches Geldof?" »

"Best Funeral Ever" in Greenwood Cemetery!

Charlie Todd and his Improv Everywhere crew thought they'd find a man's poorly attended funeral and make it the best funeral ever! They found one for an 87-year old man, with just a few surviving relatives, and brought over 30 agents to his graveside funeral in Greenwood Cemetery. They were sneaky, "hiding behind tombstones, trees, and bushes with zoom lenses." Lol, right?

Here's how it went down:

The funeral we picked was in Greenwood Cemetery, an enormous plot of land in Brooklyn. (I’m not going to list the name of the deceased to prevent the family from finding this via a Google search, but it was an 87 year old male.) We met in a park a few blocks from the cemetery gate, and I briefed all of the agents, who had arrived dressed for a funeral. I instructed everyone to be as realistic as possible and not to be too over the top. I was very worried that the family would think we were making fun of them, which was the last thing we were trying to do. I told everyone to just act like you would if it had been your grandfather who passed away and behave accordingly.

Continue reading ""Best Funeral Ever" in Greenwood Cemetery!" »

March 23, 2009



Tuesday night's Memefactory will be geekishly awesome (@3rd Ward this Tuesday March 24, 7 - 10 p.m.):

What do you get when you combine a lecture, vaudeville and Double Dare? Memefactory! Three gentlemen with five computers and three projectors take the audience on a fast-paced, whirlwind tour of every major Internet meme, famous piece of Internet media and YouTube footage imaginable. The modus is not depth, but breadth, and constant audience participation is required. Over the course of the evening, the audience will produce an entry for every internet phenomenon possible, including but not limited to: LOLCats, Bouncing GIFs, Me Singing [blank], Reaction Videos, Folk Covers of Hip Hop Classics, FAILs, Redubbed music videos, and more. Some will become famous like Boxxy, most will drink beers and a brave few will be nude.

RSVP at [email protected]

Open Call For Your Erotic Cell Phone "Art"


3rd Ward wants the best of your erotic cell phone art - that's texts, videos and photos - for an upcoming show "with a huge opening reception" called Sex Cells! The best submissions might be published in their quarterly and win $500, enough, Gothamist notes, "to buy a mediocre SLR for a future in less pixelated porn." You've got until April 22nd to send them in, just make sure everyone involved in 18 and not doing anything too illegal. But what do I know, maybe they'll be into that. For more info, visit

March 22, 2009

The Great Greenpoint Mac Off Today

We'll be getting our fill of Greenpoint's bestest Mac n' Cheese today starting at 4p.m. at Red Star bar. Chefs are giving out free samples at each bar along the route, which starts at Red Star and leads to TBD for the voting and "celebrity judging" around 8.

Red Star > The Habitat > The Mark Bar > t.b.d. Brooklyn


March 20, 2009

Inside The New Facebook Layout

March 19, 2009

Dirty Car Art


While the majority of window art consists of hasty doodles of body parts or the played-out request to be washed, Scott Wade reshapes the dirt and grime that accumulates on car windows into works of art. Among his masterpieces include a portrait of Albert Einstein, the Mona Lisa, and kidnapped passengers screaming to be released.

See them all in the Dirty Car Art Gallery.

March 12, 2009

Tao Lin and Muumuu House Have Books 4 U!

image c/o nylon, via flickr

Tao Lin is what Nylon calls an "embattled Brooklyn author," and has been called a "gimmick-crazed 'writer'" by Gawker and, most recently, Carles of Hipster Runoff fame, a claim he sorta but not really affirmed to NYU Local. A simple search on Tumblr will show you what the bliggleblogosphere thinks.

But we're not here today to speculate. Oh no, we're giving away some free books from muumuu house! Read a bit about what you can win below, and to enter the contest, just simply email Tao a picture of you holding a fish filet and any GT's brand kombucha (the drink, seen here), with your face in the photo. So that's face, fish filet, kombucha.

Tao's writings, at least the ones in his book you are a little bit happier than i am, border on insanity, randomness, the beauty of loneliness and surviving in our digital world. If you've ever thought about committing suicide via instant message before, reading one of Tao's poems might make you seriously consider it. But in a good way, if that makes any sense.

Equally as awesome is Ellen Kennedy's poetry in sometimes my heart pushes my ribs. I particularly enjoyed the first poem in the book, called Eoody Mobby, which more or less follows a young, tender Woody Allen and his lover Ned Vizzini. The whole book made me want to type in lower-case letters and chase around aging icons of Hollywood, trying to fuck them. Here's the first paragraph from the poem, which was meticulously typed out by Notes From Normalcy:

Woody Allen lies down on the bed. Ned Vizzini lies down next to Woody Allen. Woody Allen's room has white walls. There aren't any posters or pictures hung on the wall. Woody Allen kisses Ned Vizzini's mouth. Ned Vizzini pushes his tongue into Woody Allen's mouth and licks Woody Allen's tongue. Ned Vizzini licks Woody Allen's teeth. Woody Allen pushes his hand against Ned Vizzini's crotch. Ned Vizzini does the same. Ned Vizzini unbuttons Woody Allen's dress while Woody Allen touches Ned Vizzini's face and looks at his eyes and his nose. Ned Vizzini takes off Woody Allen's underwear with his foot and then takes off his pants. Woody Allen unbuttons Ned Vizzini's shirt and touches his chest. Ned Vizzini has sex with Woody Allen. They make noises but are quieter than most couples Woody Allen thinks. Woody Allen is sometimes louder than Ned Vizzini.

The image above is a tiny-sized feature about Tao Lin's literary collective muumuu house, as seen in the March issue of Nylon magazine. Unless you have super-eyes, its likely that you cannot read anything there, but you can see the original size on Flickr, by clicking here.

So go! Get those books. Well first get a fish filet and a kombucha and take a picture and then get those books.

March 09, 2009

I <3 Asia, Part Trois

Consider this a spring style preview. Guys, I want to see jorts, and lots of them. Bonus points if you and your friends wear matching shirts and parade down the street on stilts. Super bonus points for anyone who gets their hair cut like the guy in the white.

March 02, 2009

East River State Park Opens A Month Early

Some good news on the W'burg parks front...

New York State Office of Parks, Recreation and Historic Preservation Commissioner Carol Ash and Assemblyman Joseph Lentol today announced that East River State Park will reopen Sunday, March 1, one month earlier than scheduled. The park will be open from 9 a.m. until dusk.

Bacon... Still Tasty, No Longer Funny

This was a long time coming:

Old School Taxidermy Goes 3D


I saw this little guy at my friend's apartment on north 4th over the weekend, and wondered to myself, "What does he mean?" His expression is just so wonderful! That kind of excitement can't be bought with a ticket to Six Flags and a pat on the back oh-no-sir. And it isn't necessarily a result of the taxidermy process, set by a man with grizzled knuckles and animal crumbs at his feet. Far from it.

He's really just freaked the f'k out at his significance in the world around him. It's so big, and he's so darn meaningful.

The little blowfish, who we'll call Whoafish, is staring out at a world in the 3rd dimension; a world that glares back in a shattered red and blue hue. His empty, prickly-puffed body is the very epicenter of old world taxidermy and new world visual technology, where one's sense of forever is defined by how long the tannins last and how close you can get to The Commercials. What does he mean to you? Will we stuff our computers one day?

Photo by ( *-* )

February 28, 2009

Bullets, Bombs, and Babes, "This Ain't No Hula!"

As Rumproast commenter t4toby summarizes, this scene from 1987's Hard Ticket to Hawaii has it all:

Skateboarding, off-center ponytails, blowup dolls, pectoralis muscles, rocket launchers, ROCKET LAUNCHERS!!!, gratuitous violence, totally unnecessary second rocket launch attack on aforementioned blowup doll...I challenge you to come up with a better action sequence!

Evidently, B-movie director Andy Sedaris (not to be confused with David Sedaris) directed a handful of these things in a series known as Bullets, Bombs, and Babes:

Sidaris was best known for his Bullets, Bombs, and Babes series of B-movies produced between 1985 and 1998. These films featured a rotating "stock company" of actors mostly made up of Playboy Playmates and Penthouse "Pets", including Julie Strain, Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton, Cynthia Brimhall, Roberta Vasquez, Julie K. Smith, Shae Marks, and Wendy Hamilton. Several of his films were done wholly or largely in Shreveport using many local actors or actors with local ties.
Needless to say, we need to watch the entire series ASAP. Check out the amazing trailer to Hard Ticket to Hawaii after the jump. You gotta love a movie with the catchphrase "This Ain't No Hula!" [hat tip Rumproast]

Continue reading "Bullets, Bombs, and Babes, "This Ain't No Hula!"" »

The Most Improbable Soulja Boy Video Mashup Ever

I didn't think there was anything that could make this song good, but somehow the incongruousness of a tap-dancing David Hasselhoff look-alike and his perky crew paired with Soulja Boy's suggestion to "Superman that ho" makes this combo so uncomfortably amazing I can't stop watching it. If only their dance studio was in Williamsburg! I would totes take that class. [Hat tip: Everything is Terrible]

February 26, 2009

10 Year Old Brit Chick Is Way Cooler Than You

Known solely as Solveig -- or by her nickname Sol, which often graces her masterpieces -- this adolescent artist is making the graffiti community do a serious double take. And if you were to come across her work on the street, her bright, solid colors and cute, childish subjects would make you look twice too.

Though she works mainly on legal graf sites throughout her hometown of Brighton, Sussex, that hasn't stopped the press from quickly dubbing her the "female Banksy."

...awfully impressive for someone who's still in primary school, if you ask me. More examples of her work after the jump.

Continue reading "10 Year Old Brit Chick Is Way Cooler Than You" »

Been Had Movies

Ya'll remember snap music? 2005 was heady days. The stocks were maximal and the hip hop was minimal cuz Atlanta's ringtone beats ruled every playlist. One of the most successful salesmen of languid, snare-less jams was D4L, whose member, Ju, is currently embroiled in one of the most pointless, enjoyably petty beefs to hit youtube. Starts back in '08 when Ju dropped this video bragging about his ends:

Which, like most releases from the D4L camp since 2006, was pretty much ignored. Turns out that months later Ju would get shit thrown back in his face thanks to the perennial hero of youtube... some dude in his basement:

Continue reading "Been Had Movies" »

February 24, 2009

Animal Collective Facebook Lyricing

Thanks for playing along, Cornelius.


Related: Animal Collective is a Band Created By/For/On the Internet

February 23, 2009

Banksy Wuz Here


Looks like I just missed Banksy in the bathroom at Life Cafe 983 last night. Damn.

February 20, 2009

Adam Corolla hangs up on Ann Coulter

Who knew Adam Corolla could actually be cool?

Punk Cop Pogan Out at NYPD

img c/o gothamist

Patrick Pogan, the now FORMER cop who beefheadedly bodyslammed cyclist Christopher Long at a summer Critical Mass ride last year, was quietly dismissed from the force last week.

From the Times:

"A police officer who was videotaped knocking a man off his bicycle and onto the ground during a cycling event in Manhattan last summer has been fired, the Police Department said. Paul J. Browne, the Police Department’s chief spokesman, said the officer, Patrick Pogan, 23, was fired about 10 days ago."

Click through the jump for that fateful video, a TImes Up! statement and a helpful frame-by-frame analysis by a YouTube user:

Continue reading "Punk Cop Pogan Out at NYPD" »

February 19, 2009

"I Am The Fly" Uke'd-Up

Our favorite Scottish punk lo-fi ukulele duo, Gus and Fin, do their rendition of Wire's new wave non-chart hit "I Am The Fly" from the LP Chair's Missing. Great stuff. Thanks Rumproast.

February 18, 2009

Who Is Poster Boy?

In his first interview since his arrest, Poster Boy talks to New York Press about what Poster Boy means as a movement.

Choice Q&A:

NYP: You said you liked comic books as a kid. If Poster Boy were a superhero, what would he look like?
PB: Oh man, I think automatically, V for Vendetta stuff or like Batman.

Read more.

February 17, 2009

Free White Castle Burgers

Well, it is a recession: 60 Free White Castle Burgers! (Bed Stuy)

Choice quote:

"Because of the nasty-ass grease they cook the burgers in, the bottoms of the cases are soggy with onion griddle juice. Aside from that, they are in mint condition."

(via eater)

February 13, 2009

Treasure Hunting for Valentines

View Larger Map

Steph Goralnick, a freelance graphic designer, cleverly hid 22 Valentine's Day packets around Williamsburg and it's up to you to get out there and find them!

i designed a set of valentines, woohoo! i was going to put them up for sale online, but then decided that since the economy is in a state of such deep suckage i would spread the love and give them all away for free in order to ensure that people have a little something to give to their friends, enemies, lovers, moms, coworkers, neighbors, secret crushes or total strangers on the subway.

i have scattered 22 packets of cards around town, all hidden within plain sight. if you'd like to go hunting for some, you can use this handy map to guide you. let me know if you find one!

Alright love pirates. Use this heart-shaped Google treasure map, and hurry, they're being picked up by the hour!

(via Gothamist)

February 12, 2009

This May Be The Cutest Thing We've Ever Seen

February 09, 2009

Thom Yorke and Paul McCartney Dancing Naked?


Now here's a mysterious tidbit from Diplo's twitter feed:

@TheFatJew u still out? Im gonna die.. Thom york and dangermous were danin with paul mccartney naked

Yes, so that would be Thom Yorke of Radiohead and Danger Mouse, aka Brian Joseph Burton, who last night got naked at a Grammy afterparty and found themselves dancing with the former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney. Fucking A the Grammys are one crazy night, right Diplo? I hope they didn't think this was one of those "what happens at the Grammys, stays at the Grammys" kinda things...

Good find, lisa.

Hey America: This is why you're fat!

There's a new tumblr, "where dreams become heart attacks," to show just why you're so fat, America.


Visit THISISWHYYOU'REFAT and submit your own!

February 06, 2009

Red Bull Snowscrapers: Pictures

Last night we went to scope out the Red Bull Snowscrapers event over in East River Park, where top riders Shawn White, Travis Rice, and Terje Haakonsen got blasted by New Jersian Shayne Pospisil. Aside from a rather vicious onslaught of stage 1 hypothermia, we came back with a few pictures to share. Photos by yours truly and Angela Cranford.





two more after the jump...

Continue reading "Red Bull Snowscrapers: Pictures" »

February 03, 2009

Funny Spammer Wants To Sell Me Curtains

I got this funny e-mail the other day that I'm pretty sure is spam, but then again part of me wishes that someone named Brain out there really, really wants me to sell them some curtains.

It read:

My name is Brain and I am sending you an email regarding an order of some Curtains.I will like you to e-mail me back with the best types of Curtains that you have now and the price range for each and also the types of credit card you accept?Please include your contact number and name.

Is this some kinda code or something? Anybody want to sell ol' Brain some curtains? Email him.

January 30, 2009

Sam Sprocket's Bike Safety Camp

More safety tips from same here. [via Buzzfeed]

January 29, 2009

Fucks Eat Meat and Live in New Yourk

A free science lesson by your friends at Free Williamsburg.

Class, beware of the Fuck, a fox crossed with a duck that eats meat and lives in New Yourk! I've totally seen these things around the dark corners of Kent Ave., so keep your eyes peeled and send any sightings in. Let's stick together during this terrifying fuck infestation.

Other fun facts:

They are silly animals!
They are omnivores!
They're bad at jumping, but at the same time are great swimmers.
They make for a great pet because they're cute. But remember, they do eat meat sooooo...


via BuzzFeed

Profile on Poster Boy

'Friends We Love' profiles local subway artist Poster Boy in action at the Morgan Ave. L station:

For more, check out Poster Boy's Flickr photostream.

via Wooster.

January 27, 2009

The Whitest Kids' W'burg Footprint


I caught up with the Whitest Kids U' Know the other night at their Comix show, and got real down and dirty, asking some hard-pressed questions sure to bring home the new online Pulitzer for FW. As it turns out, them white boys are straight out of our neck of the woods, and they enjoy a fine area brew just like the rest of us. And when they're not drinking at Black Rabbit or eating at Carmine's, they're just across the river, not too far from the L train's farthest reaches.

Timmy Williams, the South Dakotan who now lives in Bklyn with his cat Spaceship (awesome name), eats at Artichoke Pizza over in Manhattan, so, moving on.

Meanwhile, Darren Trumpeter is the Carmine's eater, the official Graham avenue pizza slice of my life.

Then there's Trevor, who is reeeeally tall. He eats at a pizza place at 3rd and 23rd, so if you want his scraps head in that direction. But for the booze on the other hand, The Mark Bar (1025 Manhattan Ave) is his spot. He loves it for the open-till-5-am locals special. Aside from The Mark, Trevor drowns his problems at Black Rabbit, along with the rest of the cast, for the most part. He says Kent, the owner/bartender, rocks it hard, and is a real "bar guy's bar guy."

Sam, who looks like the IT guy from my work, loves Legion, and therefore it's safe to assume he loves the White Castle cheeseburgers that tend to follow a Legion stint as well.

And then there's Zach, who told me his name was Pete (but I got ya, you bastard!), who said Black Rabbit as well.

So there you have it, the official W'burg haunts of The Whitest Kids U Know: Black Rabbit, Carmines, Legion and Mark Bar.

Their show, properly titled The Whitest Kids U' Know comes back tonight on IFC at 10p.m., and continues for another 9 Tuesdays after that. Check it out, then go buy them a beer at the Rabbit.

January 23, 2009

The Week In Free Shit (The Handjobs Edition)

Picture via idiotjenn

Heyyyy cheapskates. Want some freebies!? This week we found two ceramic kilns, some yummy Vegan cookies, and, while it's not free, a street lady offered up a $2 "party". This is a big improvement over last week's Swede-fest 2009.

Two Ceramic Kilns for FREE (Greenpoint)
Ideal mate: you make a lot of pizza or a heck of a lot of pottery.

I remember you being $2 and I need your services once again. - m4w - 26 (greenpoint)
When someone asks if you want to party for $2, they're talking about handjobs, aren't they. What other kind of $2 parties are there? I mean, to get a freaking clown these days it costs upwards of $50 at least. And that's probably a really shitty clown.

Oh! And this one's in the Bronx, but who can argue with 200 hats?
Just take a quick subway up there to really work on your alt-fashion attire. And this isn't just hats we're talking about here either. Oohhhh no. There are visors too. Look what they wrote in their ad: "I have about 200 hats / sun visors." That's hats slash sun visors. It really doesn't get much better than that, and for the price of nothing!?

Yummy vegan chocolate chip cookies and beer (Williamsburg)
And lastly, local musician Scott Alexander is playing at The Trash Bar (256 Grand St. at Roebling) Saturday night at 8, and to get you to come, he's giving out free cookies! And seriously, they sound really, really good right now. This may or may not be an uber-pixelated version of Scott and his cookies:

So, happy hunting folks, and if anyone gets those visors, please, send me one. I'll give you $2 for it.

January 21, 2009

The Whitest Kids Take Their Boners Everywhere


The Whitest Kids U Know are in town this weekend to kick off their country-wide tour with a three night run at Comix, starting tomorrow night at 8. If you haven't seen them live, or their show on IFC, they were the sketch comedy dudes who had this painted ad on Bedford last spring. Anyways, they're back on IFC starting next Tuesday, January 27 at 10pm ET/PT for a ten-episode run, which will probably be hilarious.

For more of them white kids, visit the youtube channel or their site. To purchase tickets to the Comix shows, click here, orrrrrrrrrrr...too late....Paul won!

be our lucky winner and email me (too late), say "i want kids tickets!", and you can go for free! Yes, that's right, I have (2) tickets to their show at Comix tomorrow (Thursday) night, which includes a 3-course-no-joke dinner. We're talking shit like Plank Baked Salmon people. These tix go for $67.25, So hurry up, grab a date and act fast. First one to email gets both tix.

Otherwise, check out this clip from their upcoming season for a lesson in what not to do with a boner:

January 16, 2009

The Week in Free Shit (The Swedish Edition)


With the New York economy in absolute shambles, I think it's time we introduce a new weekly feature here to help you, the reader, get back on your feet. It's called "The Week in Free Shit!"

Supported by the friendly folks on Craigslist, we'll give you a round-up of the week's freebies listed under Williamsburg and Bushwick's "Free" section. This week, you'll find a couple of Swedish rejections, a complete DIY beer kit and a curb alert for a very snuggly evening - VHS Westerns and firewood! Happy hunting!

Free wood and VHSs!! (Williamsburg)

Come to 255 Powers st at the corner of Judge and pick up a bunch of free wood. Mostly boards cut into different sized squares.. good for small projects.Also, there are some VHS tapes of old western shows

Are you Swedish and miss Aromat? (South Side Williamsburg)

My husband is Swedish and his mom sent him 2 packets (unopened obviously) of Aromat. We won't eat it because it has MSG and we have reactions to it. If you miss the spice, you are welcome to have it. We didn't want to throw them away.

One package of salty Swedish licorice available (Bushwick)

I bought 2 bags this summer because I really wanted to see what it would taste like, but ended up not liking it very much. It's a brand called Gott & Blandat Salt, and comes in 3 or 4 different licorice-flavored shapes and one that's meant to taste like a hot pepper. It's a decent-sized bag, probably about the size that could be sold at a movie theater (an unlikely possibility, I know).

Beer Brew Equiptment (williamsburg)

Ingredients to make an awesome Porter: Malt, Chocolate Roasted Barley, Yeast, bottle caps, bottle capper thingy, other stuff included...Free.

Good luck! If you happen to score one of these treasured items, please take your photo with it and send it in. Because, you know, we care.

The Ballad of Agent Pubit

An Anonymous Scientology h8r stormed the Church of Scientology's NYC headquarters covered in Vaseline, his friends' toe clippings and a handful of their pubic hair. Seriously. Watch the video, and use the lyrics below to sing along:

OPERATION SLICKPUBES The Ballad of Agent Pubit:

Brave agent pubit, agent pubit was very brave
Watch ye friends and ye shall see that he will win the day
Deep underground with stone and trains, vasoline was applied
We handed him pubes, so many pubes so, he may complete his guise
The path to victory and win, paved with pubes accumulated
from the anonymous horde they came to him, fail he could not afford
the various pubes they stuck to him from the vasoline he put on before

Brave agent pubit came up from underground
Covered in vasoline and pubes, he emerged proud
40 degrees in the streets, the streets
heres where we got the call,
agent pubit the brave, was on his way, free of delays and stalls
verily he traveled on his way, the brave the brave the quick
to the church of scientology to tell them to suck his dick
the many they stared afraid they were for a thing they have not seen
slippery and covered in pubic hair was the way it had to be

Meanwhile back at our the base the attack had already begun
Prank calls and our various faxes would ensure the battle was won
A dozen proud preceded him serving to distract
Incessant and vicious our calls they were, offensive and horrible our fax

BRAVE agent pubit, he was about to arrive
At the church of scientology, his target could not hide
Touch everyone and everything once he runs inside
Pubes on their hands as they go to grab the gross slippery pube covered guy

Brave agent pubit, agent pubit ran away
He knocked over shit and he got our pubes all over the place
He touched three guys and they found out, how slippery one man could be
He spread confusion and our dickhair, with his touch of vasoline

His mission complete it may seem, but there was more
Three blocks away awaited another scientology org
The buildings two he strikes at thee, as he has once before
The CLO headquarters did not know what they had in store

Radioed in we attacked our target number two
Let the enemies know that with them, anonymous was not through
Off the hook their phones rang as we directed our second push
Agent pubit will soon come their way and deliver upon them some bush

Brave agent pubit, safely got away
Scientology we strike at thee because youre fucking gay
Your buildings both we hath spread, our agent covered in pubes
Remember this day we have delivered operation slickpubes

Found via Gothamist, more links on BuzzFeed.

January 14, 2009

The Bedford Obama Celebrations in 3D

Carlton Bright, a "videographer with a sideline in stereoptical photography", created the following 3D video, shot during the Bedford Avenue Obama celebrations at around 11:00pm on November 4th of last year. The trick is to look through it, like the way you would a Magic Eye book. If you do it right, you should basically see some 3D hipsters getting crazy for Obama.

If that doesn't make any sense whatsoever to you, click here for a more thorough explanation on viewing stereo-pair photographs.

Nice work, Carlton! You've successfully given some of these kids their only true sense of "depth":

Via Voltage; and of course you remember this, and then sadly, this.

January 12, 2009

David Cross: Why Arrested Development Was Cancelled

January 06, 2009

Kure Kure Takora - 1970s Japanese Kid's Show

We're not really sure what's going on here, but this is pretty much what it feels like being back at work this week:

From Wikipedia:

Kure Kure Takora (クレクレタコラ, Kure Kure Takora? unofficial translation: "Gimme Gimme Octopus") is a tokusatsu children's comedy show from Japan. Produced by Toho Company Ltd., the show aired on Fuji TV and its subsidiaries from October 1, 1973 to September 27, 1974 with a total of 260 episodes.

However, Episodes 223, 252 and 255 never materialized. The show was rebroadcast over CS digital satellite television, except for episode 220, which was censored due to problematic show content. The reason behind the censorship being that the main character, Takora is beaten by his neighbors to the point of being brain damaged, and it was considered much too violent to be rebroadcast. Laserdisc and VHS versions were sold, but currently only the DVD version (which includes episode 220) is on Japanese market.

It was a new type of program for children. TAKORA, a central character coveted for everything saying "KURE! (I want it)" all the time. Each episode was absurd, strange, violent, surreal, indescribable, and ran exactly 2 minutes and 41 seconds.

Beaten by his neighbors to the point of being brain damaged? WTF?! Only in Japan. [hat tip BoingBoing]

Episode 220—which even more accurately depicts what it feels like returning to work this week—after the jump.

Continue reading "Kure Kure Takora - 1970s Japanese Kid's Show" »

December 18, 2008

Sparks Is Dead To All Of Us


While the sun has set over the hipster-gasoline beverage of choice, Sparks, there are a a number of ways around this minor little inconvenience. For starters, there's cocaine. No, I'm joking. What I'm not joking about, however, is DIY Sparks! Waaaay cheaper than both cocaine and real Sparks.

See what you gotta do is grab a pack of Red Bulls. Then scurry out and get an armful of some cheap-ass 40 oz's and do it yourself!

The basics are:

Step one: Buy the ingredients
Step two: Drink the 40 to the label, mix in the Red Bull.
Step three: Imbibe

Back in college we always preferred Country Club forties as the malt liquor of choice for this mixology, but I challenge you to try your own local flavors and let us know how they work out.

If you need more help on this very scientific experimentation, Let BuzzFeed show you the ways, and then watch their helpful and informational blind taste test below.

From The Attraction Forums: Wingman Needed


Some poor chap took to The Attraction Forums in his hunt for a Williamsburg-based wingman. For realz, y'all, he's got a nice condo my McCarren Park with the sickest view! Do you know how awesome that condo is?! It's a "great, non-threatening way to get girls from the bar, to my rooftop, to my apartment in a more comfortable setting." However, his game is only "intermediate", so if you're a professional, or anything higher than an average lady-picker-upper, do not apply. Click through for the full personal, seen here:

Looking for Wingman in Williamsburg/Greenpoint, Brooklyn

Hey I'm 23 and have a nice condo by McCarren park with the sickest view of the Manhattan cityscape. It's a great, non-threatening way to get girls from the bar, to my rooftop, to my apartment in a more comfortable setting. Email me at [retracted] if you live in the neighborhood and are down to start hitting up bars.
My game is intermediate. I'm 6'1, athletic and do well with girls but just broke up with my girlfriend and need to start meeting new hot girls soon.

Ladies, is this your ex-boyfriend?

via The Attraction Forums

December 17, 2008

Christmas Comes Early! The Flight of the Conchords Season 2 Premiere:

Watch the larger, better quality version here.

December 15, 2008

Between Two Ferns & Jon Hamm

Zach Galifianakis is back with episode 3 of "Between Two Ferns", and its just as hilarious as the last two. Click below to watch Zach sneeze on the Mad Men star and ask him if he reads websites.

We last saw Zach when he was filming Bored to Death with Jason Schwartzman down in Park Slope. This is way cooler.

December 14, 2008

Japanese Cat Humiliation

December 13, 2008

Ying Yang Twins Have Holiday Spirit Too

Get ready to get crunked up - Christmas style - with this new track from the Ying Yang Twins, appropriately titled, "Sleigh Ride"! Impose said, "the Ying Yang Twins just made me shoot egg nog out my nostrils with its holiday song 'Sleigh Ride.'" So, uh, Enjoy!

via Impose.

December 10, 2008

Flight of the Conchords Lip Dub

We've raved about Flight of the Conchords before. If you're in the dark, FOTC is a hilarious show on HBO, with New Zealanders who talk like Australians but don't like being told that. They're a band duo, trying to make it in this big city of ours. They also happen to shoot around Williamsburg from time to time.

Well, Season 1 ended a while back, and now season 2 is starting to creep back into our lives - with this Flight lip dub video contest! They're asking fans to lip-synch the "“Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros" song, and then send it in to get included in a big fansterpiece of awesomeness.

For a whole slew of links, including lip dubs by the College Humor guys and My Damn Channel (Steve Agee, Nate Corddry, Kerri Kenney-Silver, A.D. Miles, and David Wain), visit BuzzFeed. For Mel's instruction video, view below! Then, click through to to enter! You've got till the end of January to get your groove on.

December 09, 2008

Top 10 Incredible Animal Videos

Wired has the full set posted here, but we especially enjoyed this one: Hamster eating popcorn on a piano.

December 08, 2008

Urban Rustic Updates Menus

photo c/o

Our friends at Urban Rustic over on North 12th Street have recently updated their grocery delivery list, as well as some other menu info (like their delectable selection of sandwiches, smoothies, and breakfast treats!). Check out the details here, or stop in and see for yourself. Or, if you are lazy/terrified of the cold weather, then at least be sure to phone them up and order fresh food ASAP!

Urban Rustic is located at 236 North 12th Street. Delivery area is as follows:

Saved by the L: The New Class

A Message from the Brooklyn Tourism Board from jeff on Vimeo.

The Observer explains:

Jeff Rosenthal, co-founder of hip-hop comedy sketch site, sent us an email this morning about the group's new web video titled "Saved by the L: The New Class." Reminds us of the Williamsburg: A Campus Guide we did this summer. It's a "Message From the Brooklyn Tourism Board" featuring Williamsburg "hipsters" opining on how they "go hard" in Brooklyn, with the new Santogold/Jay-Z track "Brooklyn (Go Hard)" playing in the background.


December 03, 2008

Prop 8 - The Musical

December 02, 2008

Your LOLhipsters are Awesome

I asked for LOLhipsters, and you talented and devoted readers delivered. Thanks for sending in your LOLhipsters, and now, here are the winners:

(Thanks Hayley!)

(Thanks Travis and his roommate!)

If you feel like contributing, give it a try and send it in. Or, learn a bit more on the LOLhipster meme at BuzzFeed.

Announcing Our Brian Eno DVD Contest!

image via Scott Beale / Laughing Squid

FREEwilliamsburg and Insound spent the night together last night, snuggling like lovers in a warm, musical rainstorm. This morning, we're happy to announce our love child - a Brian Eno DVD contest! Enter by December 10th at Insound and you can win the 77 Million Paintings dvd by Brian Eno. We've seen it, it's really awesome, and is just one tiny piece in Insound's Holiday Gift Guide. Here's a more formal description of the DVD, and if you think you'll win, click through to enter!

From Insound:

The Limited Edition 77 Million Paintings features an exclusive interview DVD in which Brian Eno discusses his creation of the 77 Million Paintings software, the next evolutionary stage of his exploration into light as an artist's medium and the aesthetic possibilities of "generative software." This program creates a constantly evolving, slowly changing "light painting" on the screen of your computer or TV with a virtually infinite number of variations accompanied by the music of Brian Eno. This deluxe package also includes a 52-page book featuring an extensive essay by Eno. PLAYABLE on Mac or PC.

Here's the gift guide, here's our contest, and here's the DVD itself if you're not feeling lucky and would rather buy it. Oh, and if you've got an iPhone, Brian Eno's application is rather awesome. Here's a bit more on that.

December 01, 2008

I Can Has Hipster

Now this is a great spin-off of the I Can Has Cheezburger meme - I Can Has Hipster. It's easy enough to replicate, so everyone can do it! Give yours a try here, and then send it in. We'll post the best ones. Some samples, via Zoomdoggle:


November 24, 2008

Be Like Lil' Wayne = Best iPhone App Ever

It's completely worth the $0.99 cost for the "Be Like Lil' Wayne" iPhone application. The possibilities are endless and wonderfully asinine.....

Per EpicTilt, the application's designers:
"Lil' Wayne equips you with a vast array of his personal bling and outfits to pimp yourself out so you can share with your friends! You can even add Lil' Wayne himself into your pictures and share with the rest of the world by email or by showing it off in the Lil' Wayne user gallery!"

Here's my dog:

wayne lo.jpg

Here's the contestant from the new Top Chef who never blinks:

chef wayne.jpg

The Top Ten Answers to the "How Many Hipsters..." Light Bulb Joke


This hipster joke has lots of answers, so we're gonna try and give you a world of options on how to answer it. See this way, no matter what happens, you'll always be one step ahead of your friends and neighbors. Got a better one? Leave it in the comments...

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1. It is a really obscure number and you have probably never heard of it. (or, some obscure number you've never heard of.)

2. Who cares? The light bulb was better before it changed.

3. At least 5 to scrape enough change together to buy the light bulb in the first place.

4. However many Pitchfork says it takes to change a light bulb

5. Who cares? it'll just be another tired rehashing of the way Lou Reed changes light bulbs.

6. Only 3 when they did it at the black cat, but this time through town it took 9 for some reason.

7. Nobody changes lightbulbs since they signed with that major label.

8. Two. One to change it in an ironic fashion and one to get it.

9. Who can tell through these fake hornrims and manicured scruff?

10. *sigh* I have this joke on vinyl.

and the original answer:

11. (Snotily) You mean you don't knooooow?

via, via and via; picture via BoingBoing.


We admit it. After we stopped laughing at this totally retarded commercial for Snuggie, the blanket with sleeves, we found ourselves kinda wanting one. [Thanks Rumproast]

November 21, 2008

And you think street art's a crime?

A small town in Nebraska has been terrorized all month by the so-called Butt Bandit, who's been leaving greasy ass-cheek imprints on windows all around town. This is hilarious! I thought our artists were creative, but shit, talk about exploring new mediums. Learn all about the trade of Butt Banditry at BuzzFeed.

Clang Clang Tapewriting


And I Am Not Lyin's D.Billy put up some cool tapewriting art around Bushwick as part of Arts In Bushwick’s “BETA Spaces” event. He says, "Bushwick, the Brooklyn ‘hood that I moved to this summer, is a great neighborhood for these projects. I started this round with a tapewriting installation that ran for two floors in the stairwell of my building."

For another more, see here and here.

November 20, 2008

The 8 Most Underrated Muppets

We'd totally forgotten about Lefty, the drug dealing Muppet who sells numbers. Topless Robot has the whole list.

November 19, 2008

Guess Who

Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five everybody...

Guess Who from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.

Nice video, Kristen Lepore.

November 18, 2008

Cinema Speakeasies


If you long for the days of underground bars and off-the-path dancing halls, Brooklyn's got a handful of art house cinemas that can loosely be compared to a cinematic speakeasy - mostly because they're awesome and aren't $15 dates. Brooklyn Based compiled a short list of the borough's "underground and established cinematheques", alongside a brief overview of their programming. Here's your next cool date idea. If it gets you laid, don't thank me, thank the independent spirit!

The overview:

Where is it: Cine 16 @ Starr Space, 108-110 Starr St., Bushwick What you'll see: Mostly experimental film featuring silent shorts scored live by local bands!

Where is it: Light Industry @ Third Floor of 55 33rd St., Industry City, Sunset Park
What you'll see: Experimental film and art, each of which is hosted and organized by a guest curator, artist, or critic.

Where is it: BAMcinematek @ BAM Rose Cinemas, 30 Lafayette Ave., Fort Greene
What you'll see: An eclectic mix of local and international, experimental and classic films.

Danke, Brooklyn Based; picture via Bushwick Culture.

November 17, 2008

The Song of the Count

If everyone in America has already seen this, we apologize for posting it. But we just discovered it and it made our morning. [Thanks Eric]

November 14, 2008

Keith Olbermann in a minute

November 12, 2008

SNL's Newest Member Michaela Watkins

This Arianna Huffington impersonation is spot on. Hat tip Gawker.

New York Times Gets Spoofed; Gawker Blows the Cover


So. freaking. cool. This morning, "liberal pranksters" as they're being called descended on New York to hand out a free future copy of the New York Times, dated July 4th 2009, full of headlines like "Iraq War Ends!", "USA Patriot Act Repealed", and "National Health Insurance Act Passes". There's also a website. We won't say who they are because it's more fun that way, but if you do a little research you can find for yourself.

For instance, Gawker totally ruined the party. Word is, once they posted the e-mail, the people behind the prank had to move the vans and effectively change plans. I spoke with a friend who helped hand out copies this morning, who heard another say "All they did was post the email that was sent out. Real impressive journalistic investigation there, guys." Ha!

Here's the story, from the Times itself:

In an elaborate hoax, pranksters distributed hundreds or possibly thousands of free copies of a spoof edition of The New York Times on Wednesday morning at busy subway stations around the city, including Grand Central Terminal, Washington and Union Squares, the 14th and 23rd Street stations along Eighth Avenue, and Pacific Street in Brooklyn, among others.

“I would say if you’ve got one, hold on to it,” Mr. Jones, a former Times reporter, said of the fake issue. “It will probably be a collector’s item. I’m just glad someone thinks The New York Times print edition is worthy of an elaborate hoax. A Web spoof would have been infinitely easier. But creating a print newspaper and handing it out at subway stations? That takes a lot of effort.”

Get more at NYTimes; Gawker; and BuzzFeed.

Update: Gothamist has a video press release (woah! it IS the future!):

New York Times Special Edition Video News Release - Nov. 12, 2008 from H Schweppes on Vimeo.

November 11, 2008

Forget the G, Take the Saturday Scene Bus Downtown


The Heart of Brooklyn partnership, which includes cultural institutions like the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, the Brooklyn Museum, and Prospect Park Zoo is offering a "cultural bus route", aimed at getting people from Williamsburg, Red Hook and Bay Ridge straight to Downtown Brooklyn. It's one of three free shuttles around NYC that will feature an onboard tour guide throwing around loads of coupons meant to get your lazy ass to downtown Brooklyn, and no excuses!

NYPress has the info:

The Heart of Brooklyn (HOB) Connection includes three programs: Target First Saturdays Shuttle, Saturday Scene, and Museum Mile to Brooklyn Style. The Museum Mile to Brooklyn Style loops between two locations in Manhattan and a number of Brooklyn's cultural destinations.

The Saturday Scene shuttle is free transportation from Williamsburg, Red Hook and Bay Ridge to Downtown Brooklyn. And the Target First Saturdays Shuttle brings passengers from the Brooklyn Museum's First Saturday event (the museum is free to visitors from 5 to 11 the first Saturday of each month) to local restaurants in the area. Check out the HOB Connection web site for times and routes.

For times and locations, visit the Heart of Brooklyn website.

November 06, 2008

Sarah Silverman Goes On Jimmy Kimmel

October 30, 2008

Democracy = More Dildos For Everybody

img via racked

Gothamist caught wind of a promotion going on at Park Slope's Babeland next week. By bringing in your voter registration card Tuesday through Nov. 11th, you're entitled to a free sex toy! For the ladies, Babeland will hook you up with a Silver Bullet, while for the dudes, you can pick up a Maverick!

From Gothamist:

All you have to do is "bring your voter registration card, ballot stub or your word of honor that you cast a ballot on November 4th" and they'll hook you up with the goods, which will probably help keep stress levels down until the election results are in.

So there you have it. Go vote on Tuesday, and whether or not you get laid for doing so, Babeland will make sure you go to bed happy.

In related news, does anybody have an extra McCain t-shirt lying around? I need it for my Halloween costume, and am not about to pay the McCain campaign 60 bucks to ship me one overnight. C'mon Brooklyn, there's got to be some former GOP supporters out there....right? If so, email me plz!

October 29, 2008

Kayrock's Election-Themed Monster Prints


From Kayrock's website

Espeis archetype invited Kayrock Screenprinting to create a mural outside their gallery. With Halloween and the presidential election just around the bend, we created a wheat paste mural that combines 35 looming issues with 20 leering monster heads. All prints are 3 colors on text weight 19"x25" paper.

Monsters were drawn by Wolfy Part II, Karl "Kayrock" LaRocca, Zach Lehrhoff, Anna Haifisch, Christeen Francis and Brady Dollarhide. Looming issues were provided by the times, the media, the presidential candidates and you.

Barack Obama has a plan that addresses 25 pressing issues. McCain's plan only deals with three.

We will have monster head prints for sale at:
Prints Gone Wild
Supreme Trading
213 North 8th, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Saturday Nov 1 (6pm-midnight) and Sunday Nov 2 (12-6pm)

More monster heads and a shot of the mural at

October 20, 2008

Please Stop Bombing South 4th Street

Are you giving your dog free reign to deposit dog tokens on South 4th Street? Well, if so, your neighbors are begging you to stop. Luna Park found this sign on South 4th, asking everyone, "Please Stop Bombing South 4th Street".


via Animal

October 17, 2008

"Killer" Halloween DJ Ghouls

Hey, need some spooky DJs for your Halloween bash? Sure you do! Hire these guys, they know alllll the hits. Ten bucks they'll play monster mash!




via Craiglist, natch.

October 16, 2008

Drunk Pumpkins are Funny

Check 'em out, add your own!

New HBO Show Reignites My Awkward High School Feelings

HBO's been executing a bum rush back into our hearts this fall, first with The Life and Times of Tim, and now, we've got wind of a new show coming November 9th called Summer Heights High. It's shot like a mockumentary, as it follows three different high school personalities navigating the trials and tribulations of social cliques, bullying, stereotyping, profanity, racism, and homophobia in modern day high school. Based on what I've seen, it's a really endearing and humorous account of life in high school in America (although it's based in

There's Ja’mie King, a junior exchange student with a massive ego and sense of entitlement; Mr. G, a 30-something senior drama teacher with delusions of grandeur; and Jonah Takalua, a middle-school delinquent on the fast track to nowhere. And guess what! They're all played by the same person, writer/creator Chris Lilley. I've embedded a clip for each character below the jump, but first, watch Jonah describe his bathroom grafitti, Dicktation. I'm gonna guess you'll be seeing these in the bathrooms around town come December. Summer Heights High debuts Sunday, Nov. 9th at 10:30pm...meaning HBO's thrown this in their coveted Sunday night slot, so, expect big things.

Continue reading "New HBO Show Reignites My Awkward High School Feelings" »

October 14, 2008

Paper Rad's Send to a Friend :)

Paper Rad is arguably one of the most influential art collectives to come out of this decade. If you are not familiar with them, they have their hands in many different projects from music to animated videos. And whether you know it or not, designers seem to love to rip off their aesthetic. See MIA's website.

Recently, Rhizome posted an oldy but goody of theirs. It's essentially "get well soon" cards informed with the Paper Rad sense of humor.


Get the full effect at their site.

October 10, 2008

Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals

Hey Williamsburg, say hi to your mother for me!

Video of Man Sleeping with Cat

If you're a cat lover, watch this video and uncover what you already know....your cat is crazy! They're f'n hypocrites too. They sleep all day, but when you try and catch a wink, the little buggers just don't understand why you are just lying there, not playing with them, and forgetting about that oh-so-delicious bag of food sitting in the inaccesible-to-cats closet. Enjoy!

October 06, 2008

"The Most Awesome Story of the Day"....

.... even though we don't condone violence either. Okay, in this case maybe we do.

September 26, 2008

KCDC is Keepin' It Real

Our world-famous Brooklyn skateshop, KCDC, is currently featured on the Mark Ecko owned It's spotlighted in the newest episode of "Keepin' It Real", and features KCDC owner Owner Amy Gunther as she talks about growing up in Long Island, opening KCDC around 9/11, and the ever-changing neighborhood of Williamsburg. Check it out, and here's the official description from Complex:

Amy Gunther takes us through the racks of Brooklyn-based skate shop KCDC and talks about the store's first collaborative shoe with NECKFACE.

September 23, 2008

David Duchovny Will Gentrify You

Why? Because he Wants To Believe in low-priced housing options and the ever-expanding "Williamsburg". This latest Poster Boy piece was spotted & shared by AndIAmNotLying!


September 16, 2008

The Eleven Worst Jesusy Songs Ever

1. My Name is John Daker

[Daker begins about 30 seconds into the video]

2. Jesus Is My Friend by Sonseed [Update: Grab their full album here]

Continue reading "The Eleven Worst Jesusy Songs Ever" »

September 10, 2008

Sixpoint Brews an Obama Beer


Brooklyn's own Sixpoint Brewery is now brewing an Obama beer. Called the Hop Obama, the ale supposedly represents Obama in a number of ways...from its Scottish yeast to his hint of spiciness. Or, as Sixpoint explains, it reminds them of Obama's grassroots campaign, in that it "positively blossoms each and every day". The ale has 5.2% alcohol by volume, and is only available in New York and Massachusetts. But, if it's got Obama juice in it, it's just gotta be delicious, right? From Sixpoint's website:

In keeping with the Illinois senator's unifying theme, the Hop Obama is an entirely unique ale that doesn't adhere to traditional style guidelines....Fused from an incredibly diverse background, the flavors are individually unique by gaining their solidarity from their invisibility. Although we do not intend this beer to be a direct Sixpoint endorsement of Obama, we believe the delicious and refreshing quality it represents reminds us of the Senator's successful grassroots campaign that positively blossoms each and every day.

Yum! I'm going to go hunt down a six pack...

update: ok its not the newest news but hot damn! its still awesome!

Sixpoint Brewery via DBTH

August 22, 2008

Fleshmap: Studies in Desire


A new cultural project is afloat at, where its creators are hosting "an inquiry into human desire, its collective shape and individual expressions." Throughout a series of studies, they aim to "explore the relationship between the body and its visual and verbal representation."

It's all rather quite fun, interesting, and at times, NSFW. Regardless, go check out the musical genres Fleshmap and explore which body parts are popular per different music genre (Hip Hop is big on butts, while Gospel is all about the hands).

Oh, and you might notice some white circles blanking something out in the image above. I'm not a proponent of censorship, but I felt it'd be curteous of me to blank out the penises and vagina just in case you're not out of the office yet. Click on through to Fleshmap for the full monty.

August 21, 2008

Cat Chiropractor with Zach Galifianakis

Since we feel it our duty to bring you all things related to Zach Galifianakis:

See more Bobby Tisdale videos at Funny or Die

August 20, 2008

I Got You Something

Félix González-Torres + Facebook Gifts = I Got You Something, 2008 by Arend deGruyter-Helfer. Arend is a student at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, and describes this piece as "facebook gifts arranged in a pile".


Many thanks to Lisa; See more at Arend deGruter-Helfer's website.

August 15, 2008

Speaking of Evangelicals...

hat tip bwe; suchmann's got the original video.

August 13, 2008

College Humor's "Awkward Rap" shot in the neighborhood

College Humor's latest hilarious video "Awkward Rap" features a trio not unlike the Beastie Boys rappin' about all things awkward - from saying "you too" when a waiter says "enjoy your food" to speaking too loud when the music cuts out - and it was all shot on our very streets! You'll probably notice the club in the video is Coco66, the Greenpoint bar between Franklin and West St., but can anybody else identify some of these spots?

via College Humor

: You can download the MP3 and then convert it to a cassette tape somehow for use on your Walkman, here.

August 05, 2008

What Would You Do For A Klondike?

From the I Eat Pandas comedy team's blog

Klondike held a contest recently where they asked users to create and upload their own commercials for Klondike bars. The only real restriction was no “violence or acts that appear to cause harm”. And we tried. We really did. We even hired a beatboxer to star in it. But, well, we are what we are.

[thanks Jeff]

July 24, 2008

Rush Play 'Tom Saywer" On Rock Band

From Comedy Central

So, when Rush was backstage at The Colbert Report last week, they played "Tom Sawyer" on Rock Band and now there's video of it. I kind of expected it to be a funny demonstration of how unlike playing real instruments Rock Band really is, with these three seasoned pros failing the song about 30 seconds in.

July 21, 2008

Insurance Company Rules

[hat tip Rumproast]

July 18, 2008

Kristen Schaal Talks Cougars On The Daily Show

In case you missed it, this is hilarious:

July 17, 2008

Absolut Zach, Part 3

They just keep getting more retarded. In case you missed it, here's parts I and II. Thanks Kevin.

July 14, 2008

Feist Counts to 1,2,3,4 On Sesame Street

July 11, 2008

Motorized Dolphin!

July 09, 2008

Mo' Monet, Mo' Problems

This is the most retarded video we have ever seen. And we refuse to admit to liking it. Because it's wrong. [NSFW]

July 07, 2008

The Human Mirror

June 27, 2008

The Best Voice Mail Since Pat O'Brien

Here's the background, via Sherman Foundation:

One of my friend's from work and her friend were out one night in the SF Marina district and were hanging outside of the bars trying to find a cab. One of the girl's, Olga ends up meeting this guy Dmitri and they talk for at the most 2 minutes. She hands him her business card and says call me.

Well attached is the actual voicemail that this guy left her. Wait till you hear it you will be laughing so hard you'll fall out of your chair.

Now go listen to the message. [Thanks Jeff]

June 24, 2008

Zach Galifianakis: Advice Columnist


We're not sure what issue of The Believer this is from, or how we missed it for that matter since we love Zach, but he's got the whole thing posted on his site. He should do this full time for People or Parade.

June 19, 2008

The Ron Burgundy Interviews

People with sophisticated taste know that Anchorman is the best movie ever made. That's why we were excited to discover the all-new Ron Burgundy Interview series on Funny or Die. Here's Ron interviewing Rebecca Romijn. Tom Brokaw after the jump.

Continue reading "The Ron Burgundy Interviews" »

June 09, 2008

Hey It's Me, Trale Lewous!

This guy is hilarious. [Hat tip Rumproast]

Trale Lewous on Butterfinegers after the jump.

Continue reading "Hey It's Me, Trale Lewous!" »

May 28, 2008

Fight Club At Union Square

Our friends at have a great post up about the Union Square Spartans. They've included a video of two emo kids with matching white belts fighting, so need we say more?

May 23, 2008

Thank God Memorial Day Is Here

[Thanks Nick]

Zach Galifianakis Hidden Camera at OSU

We should just change the name of our site to FREE Galifianakis since we will post pretty much anything he's involved in. Even his half-baked projects are hilarious:

April 25, 2008

Friday Stupidity With Will Ferrell

We always found the videos on Funny or Die to be hit or miss. Thankfully, we discovered the Will Ferrell filter. All of Will's favorites are, well, completely retarded, but in a good way. Here's our favorite:

April 21, 2008

The Best Episode Of Charlie Rose, Ever

Using appropriated footage from a single episode of "Charlie Rose," filmmaker Andrew Filippone Jr. creates something both disturbing and farcical in "'Charlie Rose' by Samuel Beckett.":

April 07, 2008

Jimmy Kimmel's day with Richard Simmons

April 06, 2008

Sloane Crosley: I Was Told There'd Be Cake


We met Sloane in 2003 and had the honor of having her be the publicist for our first book, The Hipster Handbook. Her debut novel I Was Told There'd Be Cake was published last week and we couldn't be happier for Sloane. Her collection of essays is smart, hilarious and will delight fans of David Sedaris and Sarah Vowel. The collection opens hysterically: “As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day," and it never slows down. In short, you should go buy this book now. (The buzz for I Was Told There'd Be Cake has been huge thus far.)

Sloane will be reading Monday night in Tribeca at 7pm:
Monday, April 7, 2008
7 PM
Barnes & Noble Tribeca
97 Warren Street [Map]
More information and Dioramas at

March 31, 2008

Cakehead is back

Our favorite food blogger, Cakehead, is back after taking a much-too-long leave of absence. (She was in Rwanda, so we'll forgive her). If you're a fan of the spotty, yet occasionally hilarious Idiocracy, you'll love her latest post.

March 29, 2008

Evidently, We Need To Pay More Attention

[thanks Ned]

March 13, 2008

"We Are The World" Japanese Style

Hat tip And I Am Not Lying.

March 08, 2008

Absolut Zach

God only knows why, but Absolut asked Zach Galifianakis to do an ad for them. Needless to say, it's fucked up (in a completely wonderful way). Via Rumproast:

March 05, 2008

Garfied Minus Garfield


Thanks for the tip, Ron:

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life?
Read 'em all here.

March 04, 2008

Italian Spiderman

March 03, 2008

Colson Whitehead Sounds Off On Brooklyn Writers


In case you missed it, Whitehead has a hilarious article in the Times about the hype surrounding Brooklyn writers. Here's a taste: [thanks Jeff]

As you may have heard, all the writers are in Brooklyn these days. It's the place to be. You're simply not a writer if you don't live here. Google "brooklyn writer" and you'll get, Did you mean: the future of literature as we know it? People are coming in from all over. In fact, the physical act of moving your possessions from Manhattan to Brooklyn is now the equivalent of a two-year M.F.A. program. When you get to the other side, they hand you three Moleskine notebooks and a copy of "Blogging for Dummies." You're good to go.

I have a hard time understanding all the hype. I dig it here and all, but it's just a place. It does not have magical properties. In interviews, I get asked a lot, "What's it like to write in Brooklyn?" I get invited to do panels with other Brooklyn writers to discuss what it's like to be a writer in Brooklyn. I expect it's like writing in Manhattan, but there aren't as many tourists walking very slowly in front of you when you step out for coffee. It's like writing in Paris, but there are fewer people speaking French. What do they expect me to say? "Instead of ink, I write in mustard from Nathan's Famous, a Brooklyn institution since 1916." "I built my desk out of wooden planks taken from the authentic rubble of Ebbets Field. Have I mentioned how I still haven't forgiven the Dodgers for moving to Los Angeles?" READ IT ALL

February 27, 2008

I'm F*cking Seth Rogan

Ok, hopefully this will be the last in the trilogy because, after this, the joke will have officially been played out. We thought this was pretty funny though:

February 25, 2008

Kimmel's Revenge: "I'm F*cking Ben Affleck"

For the record.... Kimmel's actually pretty damn funny. We ignored his show for a long time because of his "Man Show" anti-credentials, but his late night show is actually not bad at all. Plus, we liked the first season of The Andy Milonakis Show (created by Kimmel) and how can you not love Lost: The Musical (after the jump):

Continue reading "Kimmel's Revenge: "I'm F*cking Ben Affleck"" »

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