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summertime dating advice by maya | "i really like dating men" | the creepy fan


It's finally summertime in the city! All the ladies are out with their tiny tops, the men are sporting their tans, there are breasts and muscles everywhere. You can feel the pheromones on overdrive. So let's say you've finally gotten the nerve to ask out that hot number you spotted last week. You want to take advantage of summer activities, where should you go on your first date? Keep in mind that the first date shouldn't be too heavy, you don't want to scare each other away, and you don't want to be so isolated together that you have to think of witty things to say all night long - ugh, too much work. I like to opt for lighthearted fare with something entertaining going on that will catch your attention and that you can laugh about together. Here are a few ideas:

The Afternoon Date: I love this one because if you really hit it off, you have hours to go and you can transition smoothly to dinner, after dinner drinks, catch a late show, on and on… And if you don't hit it off, you can always get out of dinner by saying you already made plans with someone else that you can't get out of, sorry!

Highlight: Summer afternoons are all about the outdoors. Grab your rollerblades, skateboards, and head over to McGorlick Park up Nassau towards Greenpoint. It's such a dreamy park, leafy and cool with that monument thing in the middle and statues to climb on, without the crowd and noise of McCarren. From there you can wander over to Greenpoint for a frosty drink after you work up that sweat, or get milkshakes at the Park Luncheonette, a blast from the past with worn out vinyl booths and real soda-fountain stools, no attitude, no foolin'. Owned by the same Polish lady for 30 years, it comes complete with old-timer phone booth and wonderbread grilled cheese sandwiches.

Night Specials: Whether you're transitioning from the afternoon, or just starting out for the evening, there are a ton of things to choose from. I learned lately that dinner at Relish is excellent, and not as packed so you can have some private time. From there you can hit the nearby bars, with live music at Yabby, Galapagos, Black Betty's, sometimes Veracruz, and of course there's Pete's Candy Store. Or see if there's a dance party at Amayo's on Grand Street, he throws late night parties featuring Antibalas raising the temperature with hot Afrobeat. If you're into venturing out to little joints, check out the 24 Hour Dinner on Grand Street near Graham for delicious authentic cheap mexican food. Catch a Rooftop Film above Peter's CarWash (265 McKibbin St. btwn Bushwick Ave. and White Street) 9pm.

SHARE your experiences: Tell me about a first date, you can ask questions for an analysis if you like, and I'll print the most intriguing stories in the next issue. Write me here:
[email protected].

Dear Maya,

I have this weird problem. i really like dating men, but cannot cum when I am with them. I can get it up, but can never finish the act! I have been with women (not too long ago) and never had this problem before.

I have been out for like 8 months now and have had this problem every time I try to get intimate with my dates. I don't feel THAT tense, and I never have a problem when I masturbate. Any ideas of what may be wrong? It is kind of embarassing.

- Dry Spell

Dear Dry Spell,

Did you know that a large percentage of women have NEVER had an orgasm? That's a big part of the human population! Just thought I'd throw that out there. I mean, much of sex is about being in tune with your body, and learning how it responds to new touches, angles, tastes, timing...and teaching yourself different ways to achieve orgasms.

Even though you say that you don't feel THAT tense, before you start thinking this is a real problem, consider that it might be newness and tension after all. Foreplay like massage helps you to relax and feel sexy at the same time. Try spending a little more time in positions you're familiar with. Hey, maybe you just need to get more head. Or find someone who will spend time getting to know your body, and explore sex together. You don't have to get into serious relationship if you don't want one, it's nice to have a great fuck partner.

Creepy Letter from a Fan

Dearest Maya:

How should I put this? I love you. There, I've said it. I feel simultaneously relieved and nervous; relieved to have finally confessed to you my desire, the passion for every ounce of your body and brain that has been welling up since I first read your column; nervous for the simple fact that: what if you don't like me? What if this is all for naught, my confession, my desire, my love, all for nothing? This, I'm afraid, is too much for me to bear, so I shall simply put it out of my head.

In the meantime, Maya, dear, sweet Maya, let's talk about US. While we have never met, or even spoke, and I have no idea what you look like, how old you are, or even if you're really a woman, I don't care. I know you. Simply from your responses to those troubled souls you've helped through your brilliant column, your wonderful wit and wisdom, I know you. Deeply. Truly. Madly. I don't know what else to say, accept that we belong together, that we are meant to be as one, and that I am more certain about this than anything on earth. Therefore, Maya my love, come away with me, become the Queen to my King, Bride to my Groom, J.Lo to my Puffy, etc, etc. Separate, we are nothing. Together, we can rule the world. What do you say?

send me mail:
Maya Fox

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