Drive Car, See Girl Talk, Avoid New Jersey Teens
The Kia Soul Collective circus is in town this weekend and ready to rock your dirty socks off at a secret Girl Talk show going down at an “undisclosed location” (read: Pier 94 at 55th Street & The West Side Highway) It’s free, open to the public, and “includes an opportunity to test-drive the all-new Kia Soul,” that isn’t necessarily an included opportunity but more like a pay-to-play requirement.
Yea, you have to test-drive Kia’s hip new wheels machine in order to enter the premises. But between you and me, we both know that’s not the worst thing you’ve had to do for tickets to a hot show.
And what for the drunks, unlicensed, and disabled Girl Talk fans out there who’d enjoy a beat or two on a Sunday afternoon? I’m told they’ll be quietly ushered into the passenger seat and whipped around for a “check this car out bro” ride anyways, which does indeed count for entry.
So, we recommend you check this out. From noon to 7 tomorrow (Saturday), just swing by 151 Orchard Street and whip around in a Kia, and get the critical info to enter Girl Talk on Sunday from 2-7. This might be a rare shot at seeing the guy without a hoard of underage New Jersey mall rats wearing headbands climbing over the fences.
I like the potshot at “underage New Jersey mall rats”. Got get those pesky bastards outta this city so we can make room for Brian Ries and his skinny jeaned, misunderstood, and fully authentic Noo Yawk midwesterners.
Thanks for understanding us, Bill. We had to ditch our jinkos months ago and it’s been really tough to “be real” without some sense of original pants style.
For the love of humanity, will you guys take Brian off staff already? 4 out of every 5 times he posts, it’s some embarrassing train-wreck. I miss when this site had some credibility.