On Thursday night, Williamsburg’s own City Reliquary will reset the course of history as the museum crowns one of its 18 semi-finalists with the worldly title of Miss G Train 2009!
It’s been a long, lonely summer, as humanity crawled back to a point of sustainability following the disaster that was the Miss Williamsburg pageant. Just one year ago, faux-pageants watchers of this fine city were so deeply scarred after its accusations of vote rigging and insider dealings that some said they’d never go to another fake pageant established for publicity reasons again!
But perhaps the Gods of the Reliquary have found in their wits humanity’s one chance to redeem last year’s eternal sin and rightfully bestow the crown, the people’s crown, atop the glistening head of our new queen.
But who will she be? Let’s take a look-sie at our favorite contestants! Last names have been removed, but you know where to find them. Feel free to handicap in the comments. Just to play, I’m guessing it’ll be either Erica, Jessica, or “Thorgy.”
Anastasia F. – She’s a blogger with a tumblr blog and will be playing the tambourine!
Jessica D. – According to Wikipedia, she “jokes about vaginas and other sexual or dark topics” and plays a rape whistle. She also sent them a photo of herself nearly naked covered only by money. (link nsfw!)
Marleah M. – Marleah is a Gowanus resident who comes to Greenpoint for haircuts.
Colleen S.- Colleen is a young journalism student who starts her poem with, “Hi Brooklyn, or anyone listening.” America’s listening don’t you worry.
Elizabeth K.- Here we have a television producer who “almost never smell(s) like urine and would never, ever let a homeless person ride me.” Oh oh!
Anne S. – Anne’s a fashion blogger and “community reporter for The New York Times’ Fort Greene-Clinton Hill blog” and is our new Twitter friend.
Monica W. – Monica plans to use the G train as a nuclear disaster contingency escape plan one day.
Natasha L. – She still uses the word “phat.” Never let them tell you that’s not cool, Natasha.
Erica S. – Hey, she’s a free williamsburg friendly! She added more poetry to her submission though…
Rebecca K H. – Rebecca quotes Nietzsche!
Stacey B. – Stacey is funny because she wrote ‚”G Skreeeeeechhhh!!!”
Shane T. a.k.a. ‚”Thorgy” – “Thorgy” has a pretty good shot at winning this thing because he’s been on Rupaul’s Drag Race, Season 2 and might be a potential fameball in the making. He notes he’d like to show his face “everywhere.”
There are more. Perhaps our future queen is hiding in the rough. But good luck to all you lovelies. We wish you the best, and rest easy knowing the winners and losers have a standing interview offer waiting right here once you’re finished.