It's you. You are Peter Bonerz.

Peter Bonerz (left) with Bob Newhart
This is your new vocab word for the day (there’s a test on Friday). Your roommate who won’t clean the dishes, that guy who cut in front of me at the movies, my mom’s new boyfriend, seriously you are not my real dad you are such a Peter Bonerz.

“Douche” is vanilla. “D-bag” is only to be screamed mid-pelvic thrust on the Jersey Shore. “Douchenozzle” is trying too hard, getting all fancy for nothing. “Peter Bonerz,” though, comes at you twice in one name and with a rad-as-hell wikipedia article to match, which I will now post here in its entirety with key passages highlighted:

Peter Bonerz (born August 6, 1938 in New Hampshire) is an American actor and director.
Bonerz grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where he attended Marquette University High School, gaining his first theatrical experience with the Prep Players under rigid conditions. At Marquette University he participated in the Marquette University Players under the Rev. John J. Walsh, S.J. After working long and hard, he graduated with a BS degree in 1960, he decided to seek a career in theater, beginning with The Premise, an improv group in New York. After a stint as a draftee in the US Army he joined the Committee, an improv troupe in San Francisco.
He had a number of roles in some solid films, including Medium Cool (1969) and Catch-22 (1970), before landing a leading role as Jerry Robinson, an eccentric orthodontist on The Bob Newhart Show, whose most frequent comic foil was Marcia Wallace as Carol, the sharp-tongued secretary. The show, which began in 1972, ran for six seasons–with ratings among the top 20 in the first three seasons, bringing Bonerz nationwide recognition.
He came on to a busy and successful career as a film and TV director. In one of his later acting roles he played a worthless psychiatrist who almost gets the shaft in Serial (1980). He directed a large number of sitcom episodes for series such as Friends, NewsRadio, Home Improvement, and ALF.

So try using that one next time, “Hey, Peter Bonerz, out of my way I am on important blogger business!”

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