Sometime last winter someone I know very well got a pink slip summons here in Brooklyn, New York for urinating between two parked vans somewhere in industrial Bushwick or Bed-Stuy…can’t remember which. The odds that anyone drove by at the exact instant of his urinary relief are astounding, let alone two of New York’s finest. Approximately 8 minutes after he got that ticket, he threw it out, or lost it, one or the other it doesn’t matter now. He then basically forgot about the ticket for months, until sometime yesterday when he realized that summer is coming up, and with it kickball, and with that joy of drinking
beers apple juice outdoors in McCarren park at night.
He probably has some kind of (hopefully loosely enforced) warrant out for his arrest for not showing up for that measly little pink slip! He did some research around the bliggosphere, had Sheila at Gawker do an advice column for him, and eventually, balled up and called a lawyer. He is now a proud American citizen with retained legal counsel ($500) who has advised him to “keep his head down” while he sorts things out. This is great! He told me he really feels truly American and can say things like, “I dunno guys. I shouldn’t drink that beer on the subway. My lawyer’s advised me not to.”
He has promised to send me updates with how everything nets out. Today his lawyer is checking with the courts to verify the existence of that warrant.
update: yes indeedilysquat, his lawyer has advised him that there is a warrant and to keep things on the down-low ’till early next week when they will go to court.