FW: You guys are known for being
loud. Are there too many pussy bands coming out of
New York these days?
Fat Bobby: Nope. You can never have enough
pussy bands. We may be loud and unkempt, but we like
OMD as much as the next fella or lass. We like having
it all. Plus, it beats having to stomach a bunch of
pussy DJs, now, doesn't it?
FW: People call Oneida neo-punk and/or garage
rock. Have you actually ever practiced in a garage?
Fat Bobby: Well, we do rehearse in a loading
dock. Our recording studio is in said loading dock.
And we've played an awful lot of shows in garages,
loading docks, warehouses, and a foundry. However,
it's important to note that all these garages were
built to accomodate large trucks, not just wood-paneled
station wagons. I sure hope this convinces a bunch
of brilliant rock critics to start calling our music
FW: Every band gets influences hung on them,
but lets do the opposite. Finish this sentence: "If
you hate (insert bands here) you'll love Oneida."
Fat Bobby: Okay: "If you hate (insert
bands here) you'll love Oneida", unless you're
a major-label A&R guy, in which case you're fucked."
FW: We hear that Oneida recently lost a member?
Who was it and what happened?
Fat Bobby: That would be PCRZ, who has decided
to focus on his country music exclusively. All of
us idiots in Oneida play other music, and have other
bands, because life's not complicated enough as it
is; Crazee just decided to simplify a little bit.
But Oneida is like the proverbial willow tree -- our
flexibility is our might. We're also like a willow
tree in that we are one of the great icons of pastoral
romance. Also, we frequently hang out next to rivers.
FW: Being in a band is much better than working
a shitty job. What's the shittiest job you ever had?
Fat Bobby: Hmmm. Before I answer, I'd like
to point out that in New York City, being in a band
usually entails a commitment to (not exclusion from)
shitty jobs. Shittiest of them all would have to be
the ones where I had to set an alarm clock. Believe
me, Jack, you haven't suffered at a job until you've
had to wake up just to get there.
FW: Does Oneida have a band van? If so, please
Fat Bobby: Yes, we do. It is a highly compressed
cube of steel, glass and rubber that resides in a
Queens scrap yard. It used to be a lovely bone-colored
GMC Vandura with a drink-holding credenza and fur
on the walls. But it is no longer usable as a vehicle,
due to its highly compressed state and its lack of
wheels, engine or drivetrain. We currently beg and
borrow vehicles to tour. We haven't yet resorted to
FW: Who would be your dream cameo on your next
Fat Bobby: Living: Jim Bouton, author of BALL
FOUR. Dead: John Locke, author of SECOND TREATISE
OF GOVERNMENT For all I care, they could play tambourine.
FW: What's your biggest pop culture
Fat Bobby: All my vices are "pop culture",
although I guess alcohol and drug consumption have
long, rich histories interlaced with theology and
politics. So I guess everything except alcohol and
FW: Is rock-stardom bringing in the booty?
Fat Bobby: If by "booty" you mean
"goods or property seized by force or piracy,"
well then, yes. Of course. That's the whole point.
Thank you, American Heritage Dictionary, Fourth Edition.
FW: What are Oneida's upcoming projects?
Fat Bobby: We have a new double-LP called "Each
One Teach One" that's coming out in April; We're
working on the score and soundtrack to a documentary
on demolition derby in NJ and Long Island, called
"Speedo"; We're writing and recording a
baroque-pop album called "The Wedding,"
probably to be released early 2003 (takes a long time
for idiots like us to arrange Left Banke-style string
parts, let alone record them);
Other things include a newly-released split single
with Brother JT, on the Jagjaguwar label, and a forthcoming
split single with the Constantines on ThreeGUT Records
out of Toronto.
FW: Would you say your music
comes from the heart, the soul, or the loins?
Fat Bobby: Our music comes from head, heart,
hands, and health.