The Mail
We are Afraid of You
Dear Free Williamsburg,
Hey. I'd like y'all to buy my work. I'm gonna be very famous
one day either from my art or writing or acting or comedy
or cult leading or serial killing. Which ever comes first,
but I know in the darkest & deepest depths of my bowels(trust
me, they're very dark & deep) that it's gonna happen. As soon
as I get a camera I'll send some stuff ok? Thanks.
--name withheld
Lots of People Said This:
Dear Free Williamsburg,
Hello, freewilliamsburg. I continue to enjoy reading some
of your articles. However, I don't agree with your musical
choices, i.e. the 10
top bands/albums of 2002. I definitely think Interpol
should have been number one over the Liars. They are that
good. Thanks for listening.
--name withheld
Dork:
Dear Free Williamsburg,
Just writing in response to your top
ten list. It's total amateur hour over there. Did you
count how many times the writer used the word "dorky" to describe
albums? I didn't either, but one is too many. He has no sense
of professionalism. The writer is probably one of those guys
who was the pathetic loser geek in high school and now can
pretend to be cool cos he can hide behind the jaded indie-rock-writer
mystique. Whoop dee whoop.
--Sincerely, Lynn
PC comments?:
Dear Free Williamsburg,
Good reviews of the bar/restaurant scene. I feel it is a better
site than billburg.com. You all do a good job of easily laying
out the format of the site. Thanks for actually telling how
much beer and food prices are. In this AL Qeada economy, many
people want to know that. There are countless sites that do
not get into specifics. List of menus is fantastic-keep it
up. Just spare us the PC comments about bars with blacks and
hispanics. If it has a certain racial/ethnic mix-so be it.
Don't force everyone to "like" it. Some will and some won't-even
in the burg.
--Bob Macron-bklyn
Damn G:
Dear Free Williamsburg,
Perhaps J. Stefan Cole should learn how to spell "Muhammad
Ali" (as opposed to "Mohammed Ali") before using him as an
example to defend such a mind-boggling silly book as "Africa
Speaks". If there is anything worse than a book wrote in "black
voice" by a white author pontificating on "hip-hop" and the
state of black youth (from what he's "heard in the streets")
it's got to be another white person reviewing the book and
defending it while misspelling "Muhammad Ali".
--name withheld
To the Spelling Whiz,
My apologies for misspelling Mr. Ali's name (AFRICA SPEAKS,
Mark Goldblatt). A typo is a typo. While we're at it, how
about grammatical correctness: I quote you: "If there is anything
worse than a book wrote in "black voice"..." The trouble with
stones is they can so easily fly back at you. Also, if you
look at the heading, I write non-reviews. I don't defend or
denounce books. I discuss them. But thanks for the mail anyway.
PS: How do you know if I'm black or not? By my ink?
--J Stefan Cole
It's Ok To Be a Dumbass, You're Just a Teenager
Dear Free Williamsburg,
i think you are all completely sick and twisted yuppies
with nothing better to do besides live off of your hard-working
parents and piss off the neighbors around you. you're probably
all the people who complained about how cliche high-school
was and here you are creating another sub-culture of unintelligent
sounding slang and a breeding place for some people with
an extremely horrible sense of fashion. if you're going
to act like you're still fifteen then please try not to
impose your immaturity on the rest of the neighborhood,
i've had enough of taking the L home and getting funny looks
because i am in fact a teenager and have a right to be bobbong
between fashion and political statements. -
--williamsburgh resident
Disclaimer from the Editor:
Opinions addressed in Free Williamsburg are
not necessarily our own, godammit!
 
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