Ask Maya

Dear Maya,

I have this problem. I guess it stems from insecurity. You see I am only moderately attractive and rarely get asked out by boys. The competition is rough in New York with all the hip models running around!

The only time I ever meet boys is when I wear a tank top or a revealing outfit. You guessed it, my breasts are huge. They flock to me like ticks to a dog's ear when I opt to show a little cleavage.

I understand that attraction (at least initially) is usually a physical thing, but for once I want to meet a man who likes my face and my personality instead of my boobs.

So here's the question, should I leave them out there for the world to see knowing that they will attract Mr. Wrong? Or should I continue being dateless and wearing my baggy sweaters?

Thanks-
S

Dear S ,

Moderately attractive is how most people start out in the morning, and means you ain't ugly. Think about how hard the moderately attractive girls with no tits have it. And the models who attract men who come around just to see if they can get a model, then dump them when their game is over!

Come on, mama, you've got to love all your qualities and learn to harmonize your assets. You wield your breasts like a sword, either hidden away, or unsheathed. Last I checked, there were more options in the closet than plunging necklines and bulky sweaters. Try more tailored shirts that coast the body and flatter your figure but leave something to the imagination. Buy your sweaters a little less baggy, but go easy on the skin tight. Classy and sexy at the same time also hints that you have something going on besides tits. They'll want to know more.

Most importantly, take care of yourself so that you look and feel good every day, not just when you¹re out at the clubs. When YOU feel you're attractive, other people feel it too. So be confident and let your personality shine.

As for Mr. Right...Right or Wrong, pretty much all men are into breasts. You're the one who's in charge here, make your demands.

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Dear Maya,

I have this problem. I think I'm a nymphomaniac. I go out almost every night, have guys buy me drinks and often end up with one of them. Recently, I ended up with two. I usually wake up and feel somewhat strange about my behavior, but yet I keep doing it. The thing is, I don't feel THAT bad about it. But maybe I should. That's what I'm writing about. Am I a bad person? Is there something wrong with me? If I do this kind of thing all the time, and don't feel bad about it, is that okay? Also, I have a brother who I'm very close with, and HE does this kind of thing too, and doesn't express any regrets about his behvaior. Of course, he's a guy. But I don't believe in double standards. So maybe I'm just proving a point? I don't know, I'm very confused about all this. Help!

- Brooklyn Nympho

Dear Brooklyn Nympho,

My short answer is: It depends. The first thoughts that came to mind when I read your letter is why do you feel strange and what makes you question whether you should feel bad? (And damn, where do you find the time?) Although you say you don't feel that bad, it seems that your behavior doesn't entirely sit well with you. The key to your confusion is asking what motivates your behavior, and whether or not this is what you really want in your life. For example: Have you been hurt before and you are trying to get back at men? Do you feel like you have to prove your ability to get men? Are you lonely and trying to communicate through sex? Or do you have a raging sexual drive and you want to explore your sexuality?

If you decide that you are not satisfied with this lifestyle, then maybe you should take some time to yourself and think about how to pursue what you want in a different way. It won't be that hard to stay home for a while. Dildos work wonders for moments of sexual frustration.

If it's a matter of exploring sex, then why not live your life to the fullest? No promises, no regrets. But I highly recommend looking out for yourself. Hooking up with total strangers can be very dangerous, you never know when you've got a freak on your hands. Also, use safe sex to protect yourself against diseases. There's so little time between meeting a guy and picking him up to learn his vital statistics. You don't want to look back when your nympho stage is over and regret everything.

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Dear Maya,

I 've been in a semi-relationship for the last year with a man that I've known for a few years. We have a fun, low-key relationship. Here's the problem, and brace yourself, it's going to sound straight out of a soap opera. His bisexual sister just moved in with him and I have been finding myself extremely attracted to her. She's flirted with me and I flirt back, but we're never alone. I've never been with a woman, but she makes me want to give it a try. What do you think?

Bi-Curious in Brooklyn

Dear Bi-Curious in Brooklyn,

I say satisfy your bi-curiousity…but be careful about doing that through the sister, it's way too close to home, unless you're looking to be on Jerry Springer. If you care about your boyfriend and you care about his sister, there are a few things to take into consideration. First of all, dating people from the same family usually invites weirdness, so unless your boyfriend is extremely open-minded to the family connection, expect a lot of drama. Being curious as opposed to bi is also tricky, so ask yourself if you are turned on by the sister or the idea of being with women in general. If you're just curious, find some other fun, hot babe, instead of doubly hurting your boyfriend by playing around with his sister.

If you don't care how your boyfriend feels, or he doesn't care, and she's the one you want, how serious is she about you? Start off on a casual note to avoid misleading her.

But it all sounds messy to me. I vote for finding someone new to introduce you to female sex.

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Maya Fox