People, I don't get it. I really don't get it. I mean, I ask for one simple
favor. One miniscule request. One tiny little thing, and you blow it. This
is gratitude for you! Each month I bust my ass to give you this column.
Do you think I'm getting paid for this? Think again! I do this for nothing.
I do this solely to provide you with some entertainment, with a pleasant
distraction from the burdens of everyday life, to present a brief aside,
a haven, for your reading pleasure.
And the one time - one time! - I ask for something in return, you let
me down. Worse, not only did you let me down, you made my score go down
to a pathetic 7.6.
Instead of giving me nines and tens, you gave me ones, twos and threes!
What was once a barely-acceptable 8.3 is now a pathetic 7.6! Do you have
no compassion? Do you want me to jump off a bridge? Do you have any idea
who's company you've lumped me into?
|This sad-sack Menudo reject
has the same score as me!!!
|So does this creepy-looking
Man, this guy gives me the creeps!
So does this future cult leader with the horse teeth, crazy eyes and
This asswipe with the ever-so-stylish backwards baseball cap and
the posters that were cool in the 4th grade
has a higher score
So does this scary date-rapist!
So does this semen! I mean
seaman! No, I mean semen!
And this self-proclaimed retarded frat boy who's about
to blow his
brothers in some fucked-up hazing ritual
has a MUCH HIGHER score
I ask you: why would you do such a thing? Why do you spit on me? What
have I done for you, sans try and make your lives better, happier, richer?
The only reason I can come up with is that you are mean, evil people.
You are mean and evil, do you hear me!
And because you have disappointed me so, I feel no obligation to do anything
for you. Therefore, you get no column this month. Those of you who rated
me highly, I apologize. But don't hold it against me; hold it against
your mean-spirited brethren.
Instead, I'm including some columns by noted humanitarian, inspirational
speaker, and all-around saint Dr. Laura Schlesinger. Maybe they'll help
you. God knows you need it.
I surprise even myself. Listeners to my radio show will remember that
last year I was ranting about a study published in a reputable American
Psychological Association journal which concluded that child molestation
was not always harmful to children and, in some cases, might even be beneficial.
Well, a lot of professionals and politicians jumped on that one, and that
so-called research has earned the ignominy it deserved.
However, in the course of my on-air musings about the state we are in
as a country, where morality is the butt of jokes and credible professional
journals publish studies that advance the cause of pedophiles, I laughingly
said, "What's next? Bestiality as innocent fun?"
Brace yourselves. Showing up in two leading fashion magazines this winter
is a multi-page advertising spread for a couturier that pairs the obligatorily
skinny woman in provocative poses with an enormous dog in a studded leather
collar. Lest the not-so-subliminal message in this advertising campaign
be lost, there are pages of "playful" encounters between them.
The first shows the model, clad in a dress slit up to her posterior, bending
over the dog and putting a leather mask over his head --- the mask and
the spiked collar being well-recognized accoutrements of sadomasochism.
Turning the page, we find this girl and her dog in a rather compromising
position -- she, on her haunches; the dog on its hind legs, draped over
her back. She is clutching the dog's fore legs, which are wrapped around
her shoulders -- one paw tucked inside her open jacket, under which she
is nude. The model's eyes are closed, and she has a blissful look on face.
It's harder to read the dog's face, even though he has changed his leather
hood for a spiked muzzle.
The last photo shows the woman seated, bent double over her knees and
holding onto her ankles.
Since very little dress is showing, I guess this ad is selling her shoes,
which are definitely suitable for kinky sex, complete with spike heels,
ankle straps and rhinestones. The dog obviously likes them, too, as he
is licking her feet. The model's expression is ecstatic, if not downright
So, here we are. The leading women's fashion magazines have accepted these
ads that sell clothes by not-so-subtly depicting bestiality and sadomasochism.
Do they really believe their readers would find this appealing? How many
women do you know that long to have sex with their dogs?
As a nation, we have become so desensitized to the immoral and the reprehensible
that ads like these can run in not one, but at least two (that I know
of) national women's magazines. And run without any public commentary
by other media. No published criticism of these ads or the magazines that
ran them has reached my eyes and ears.
But I did get a letter from a woman in Minnesota, along with a copy of
a letter she sent to one of the magazines, calling the editors to task.
She wrote: "I do not expect your company to be responsible for all
that is wrong in the world, but it is not beyond your power to exclude
immoral advertisements in order to take a stand against this horrible
kind of behavior. Your magazine reaches millions of people, and to print
this ad was to condone the behavior. You should be ashamed."
And isn't that just the point? What has happened to shame? It seems to
have gone away along with other honorable concepts such as right and wrong,
moral and immoral, acceptable and unacceptable. And our society has literally
lost itself without these guiding principles.
But if society is going to be "found," it's going to be by people
like Jennifer, who wrote to the magazine and canceled her subscription.
I hope she rallied others to do so, as well. Remember that free speech
cuts both ways. The First Amendment protects us all, so you can exercise
your right of free speech by speaking up, by fighting for righteousness.
WE HAVE A REALLY SERIOUS ISSUE in this country, and most of you are scared
to address it because when you do, you are made to feel evil and bad.
I know. I am routinely excoriated for having a different opinion. So I
understand how difficult it is to stand up for heterosexual marriage.
But if we don't, pretty soon what we commonly understand and cherish as
"family" will be gone.
There are two events I want to bring to your attention. One involves our
president, who proclaimed June the month of "celebrating homosexuality."
I think he must be nuts. He designated a whole MONTH to celebrate this?
You only get a DAY if you're Irish. Right? Do we have a month to celebrate
President Clinton's proclamation said that businesses, families and all
of us should "celebrate" the fact that some people cannot or
will not mate with members of the opposite sex, be married and have children.
In my opinion, that is not something to celebrate. It's very sad, and
I have great compassion for homosexuals.
An interesting aside is that Clinton began his proclamation by saying,
"in the year of our Lord, 1999." Where is the much-treasured
separation of church and state? And imagine invoking Jesus' name in the
same breath as he celebrates behavior specified as sinful in both the
Torah and Christian bible!
So that's No. 1 -- this astonishing proclamation that directs Americans
not to accept homosexuality, not to tolerate it, but rather to CELEBRATE
Here comes No. 2:
Human rights campaign leader Elizabeth Birch and her partner, Hilary Rosen,
who is a lobbyist for the Recording Industry Association of America, recently
adopted male and female twins born Jan. 7 in Texas. There is no specific
legislation in the state of Maryland, where they live, that prohibits
placing children in homosexual households. The two women have proudly
announced that the children will be raised by nannies.
Do we not have sufficient empirical evidence that fatherless homes are
not the best environment for raising children? And these particular babies
aren't even going to have an attentive mother, either! How could any adoption
agency give twins to two lesbians who don't even want to care for them
when there are heterosexual, committed couples waiting for babies to adopt
and dying to stay home and parent them?
Talk about the power of ideology run amok! That the government permits
a child to be robbed of a father to satisfy the political demands of gay
activists is an outrage. Since when do people have a "right"
to practice deviant sexual behavior and bring innocent children into their
homes? The answer is that "rights" are not involved here. There
is only the RHETORIC of rights and the cover of tolerance that sends everyone,
including the president of the United States, running for cover, uncaring
that our children are paying the price for our cowardice.
These actions, by adoption agencies, politicians, even clergy, advance
the activists' goal of changing the definition of marriage from a man
and a woman in the sight of G-d to any sort of arrangement between any
two people. Are we going to just let these events go by and not fight
to preserve traditional families, which are the foundation of our civilization
and our society?
We all just want to put gas in the car, go to work, see a movie, get some
sleep. We worship convenience and self-gratification, so America has a
million and a half abortions each year. Just suck the little babies down
the sink. They are so inconvenient. And we sit by and allow this to happen
in the name of freedom of choice. What about responsibility? Can't we
see what's happening to our children year after year as we stretch our
definition of liberty to the breaking point?
If the welfare of our children is not the No. 1 priority, ideal and goal
of this nation, then the nation will disintegrate. I talk to a lot of
people in government, psychology and psychiatry every day who are afraid
to stand up for the importance of the traditional family to the welfare
of children. They are silent not because they agree with the homosexual
agenda, but because they are afraid of the militant activists among homosexuals.
And the irony is that the activists use THEIR so-called fear -- "everyone
is out to kill us" -- when it's those opposed to homosexual marriage
and adoption who live in fear. This includes numbers of nonactivist homosexuals
who write to let me know they agree with many of the things I say, but
beg me not to use their names on the air for fear of retaliation of some
This has gone too far. We cannot continue to sacrifice our children on
the altar of "freedom" and "diversity," no matter
what the president of the United States proclaims."
E-mail: [email protected]
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| September 2001 | Issue 18
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