I think visors are on the cusp of becoming the new hot shit. Therefore, I will spend the next two hours highlighting examples of cool vizors (visor fans: it’s OK to switch out the “z” with the “s”) on my twitter account. Think you’ve got a good “visor eye”? Join in w/ hashtag #visorfeed. The future is here. Am I serious? I don’t know. Not even I can tell if I’m joking or not anymore… Anyways, Friday right?!

You: Puking all over the bar at Legion, the “strands of puke-saliva” dripping softly from your pouty lips into your hand.
He: 25-year-old patron of Legion on Saturday night who has slipped in your grimy vomit and fallen deep in love. He would like to get a drink sometime, and maybe blow chunks of sweet nothings into your ears.
Realy hope this one works out! Nothing like young love in the spring time.

The Awl just posted a new piece by yours truly about WinterBand–aka the most important band of our time:

Just when I’d ‚”discovered the magic” of Celtic Thunder and become certain that nothing could more effortlessly succeed at making my ears bleed, a friend sent me a link to North Carolina’s WinterBand–the most disturbing Christian rock band since, well, since ever. If you’re a geriatric, hobo-wizard, Jesus freak with a dirty mop-head hanging from your chin, it’s probably not the best idea to be too critical of others. But that doesn’t stop WinterBand’s namesake, Steve Winter, from attacking Catholics, Muslims, democrats, women and countless others for the intolerable sin of being outside his confusing comfort zone.

Check out this important band’s music over at The Awl.

A poster on Craigslist is seeking woman to wrestle, no not sex, but just good ol’ “you beating/dominating me.” He’s willing to pay $100 for a good ol’ beat down. Body slam! Somebody send him a photo, at which point he will send you his, and we can once and for all figure out who is wrestling our women.
His post:

Seeking woman to wrestle with. No sex just wrestling “you beating/dominating me” will compensate you one hundred dollars cash for an hour of wrestling. Send your photo and I will send you mine.

The scary thing is I think these guys are for real:

And then there’s this. We *love* that these asshats are dressed like a hobo wizards but don’t recognize the irony of lashing out at Obama for being outside their comfort zone.

As FREEwilly’s music editor, I get a lot of weird shit sent to my inbox. This arrived late last night with nothing but a YouTube link in the body of the email. When I found myself singing “Onion… is the Underdog” in my head while brushing my teeth this morning, I figured I should share:

Evidently this hideous thing, known as ‘Big Money Rustlas’, has already premiered in Detroit (where else?). Dammit, we missed it:

“Big Money Rustlas,” shot in California in 2009 on a $1.5 million budget, is a comedic western that finds the Insane Clowns running amok in the Old West. It is the follow-up to their’70s/exploitation send-up “Big Money Hustlas,” which was released in 2000 and sold more than 100,000 copies.
As a line of fans wrapped down Elizabeth Street, past Park Avenue and almost down to Clifford Street, ICP’s Psychopathic Records labelmates — most of whom had roles in the film — pulled up to the front of the building in limousines. Reflecting on the excitement in the air, Twiztid’s Paul Methric remarked, “this makes me want to move to Hollywood.”
Last to arrive was the Insane Clown Posse themselves, with Violent J (real name: Joe Bruce) in a blue sport coat and blue jeans and Shaggy 2 Dope (real name: Joe Utsler)in a black and white fur coat, accessorized with a bling-studded walking cane.
Outside, chants of “family! family” — a popular Juggalo rallying cry — turned to “let us in! let us in!” as fans were forced to wait several hours in the bitter cold before being let indoors. Once inside, the mood was more like a concert than a film screening, as the crowd of around 2,000 cheered and whooped throughout the movie, which was introduced live by J,Shaggy and the rest of the Psychopathic roster.

Since the band has a big rivalry with Slipknot–whose fans are called Maggots–we can only imagine there will be a Slipknot film next. The horror. [via]

Juggalos at the premiere of Big Money Rustlas

If you’re a Time Warner Cable subscriber in New York, we encourage you to copy & paste this email and send it to their Office of the President:

Subject: Remove CBN From My Cable Package: Hate Speech on 700 Club
To: twc.cotp@twcable.com
cc: Julius.Genachowski@fcc.gov, Michael.Copps@fcc.gov, Robert.McDowell@fcc.gov, Mignon.Clyburn@fcc.gov, Meredith.Baker@fcc.gov
On Wednesday, January 13, 2010, the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) aired an episode of Pat Robertson’s 700 Club that I found deeply offensive. In the wake of potentially hundreds of thousands of deaths in Haiti — the most devastating natural catastrophe since the 2004 tsunami — Pat Robertson asserted that the citizens of this impoverished country were being punished by God for making “a pact to the devil.” Here is the entire quote:
“[S]omething happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French, you know, Napoleon the Third and whatever, and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’ True story. And so the devil said, ‘O.K., it’s a deal.’”
To any sensible person, this amounts to hate speech.
The 700 Club has aired similar assertions in the past, most notably following 9-11 when Jerry Falwell asserted that al-Qaeda’s slaughtering of innocent Americans was God’s wrath:
“The abortionists have got to bear some burden for [9-11] because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger in their face and say ‘you helped this happen.’”
As a Time Warner Cable subscriber, I am writing to request that the CBN be unbundled from my cable package until they agree to stop airing the 700 Club.
I am a firm defender of the First Amendment and free speech, but as a customer of Time Warner Cable I should not have to pay for what I believe constitutes hate speech.
If my request is not addressed, I will have to consider terminating my service.
Sincerely,
INSERT NAME

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And in case you missed it, here’s the video: