by Dave Thomas Josh Brolin as W.
Is it strange that the movie I’m most psyched for this month has “porno” in the title? No. I don’t think so. OCTOBER 3 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Far inferior remake of Beverly Hills Chupacabra. WILL IT SUCK?
The one good thing I can say about this movie is that the casting probably saved the life of its lead, a stray dog named Rusco. Early buzz is shockingly (albeit apologetically) good. HOW WELL WILL IT DO? City of Ember doesn’t make things any easier the following week, but there are no other talking pet movies for miles. On the other hand, it’s called Beverly Hills Chihuahua. $18mil. WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
We all know about the Academy’s bias against talking animals.
————————————————- NICK AND NORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Kat Dennings and Michael Cera stumble into a first date in NYC. WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. The long overdue follow-up effort from Raising Victor Vargas helmer Peter Sollet. More interestingly, a teen romcom based on a novel.
This looks great. Its out in New York on October 24. Directed by Charlie Kaufman (Academy Award-winning writer of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), the film stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener,Michelle Williams, Samantha Morton and Hope Davis. Higher quality version here.
You probably have about 5 hours to watch a balding Tom Cruise dance to Flo Rida in Tropic Thunder before this gets pulled down from YouTube. So, check it out.
by Dave Thomas Burn After Reading
For some reason, Hollywood has decided to release fifteen movies a week (except the first week) in September. SEPTEMBER 5 BANGKOK DANGEROUS WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Nicolas Cage plays a hitman who loves his job and doesn’t do anything to jeopardize it. Nah, just kidding. WILL IT SUCK?
On the one hand, IMDB has this as the highest-rated Pang Bros. (creators of the original The Eye) film yet (it’s an English-language remake, in fact, of their own eponymous film). On the other hand, it’s not being screened for critics. Take a look at this NSFW clip and tell me what you think. I’m personally hoping for gloriously bad. HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It’s opening against nothing, which can only mean one thing. It’s the beginning of September and nobody goes to the movies. $18mil. WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Nic Cage: Worst Hair
——————————– EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE ITALIAN WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Guy pretends to be Italian to get with a girl. WILL IT SUCK?
The Brooklyn Paper published an article today interviewing the filmmakers behind “Cult of Sincerity”, a straight-to-youtube feature documenting the lives of a bunch of 20somethings living it out in Williamsburg. In what not only marks the end of the straight-to-DVD route, “Cult of Sincerity” is also trying a different strategy to make back some bills.
The film is totally free, you can view it on youtube, or, catch it on Channel 13 on August 23rd. Don’t have cable or internet? Well, It’s screening at Stain Bar that night as well, where “important scenes in the film were shot”. All the filmmakers ask of you is that you go to aimestreet.com/cultofsincerity and sign up…they get 2 bucks a pop for that and you get free music.
Here’s the trailer, and if looks like it’ll keep your boat afloat go watch the full feature on YouTube.
by Dave Thomas Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Looks like Pineapple Express might be the best this month has to offer… JULY 1 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Jet Li is the mummy. And Maria Bello is Rachel Weisz. WILL IT SUCK?
Probably the most notable replacement is actually behind the camera, with Rob Cohen (Stealth, xXx) taking over for Mummy 1 & 2 helmer Stephen Sommers who, in spite of all the suck he brought to Van Helsing, really seemed to have a knack for these films. Cohen has a knack for making Brett Ratner seem inspired.
Alfred Gough and Miles Millar (creators of Smallville, two of the 73 writers on Spider-Man 2) definitely have a knack for this sort of thing, so their writing will fight Cohen’s direction.
And it’s always fun to see Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh together (check out Twin Warriors if you ever get the chance). HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This is, arguably, the last major action-adventure flick of the summer. $101mil.
—————————– SWING VOTE WHAT’S THE PITCH?
One guy gets to decide the fate of a U.S. presidential election. No, not Karl Rove. WILL IT SUCK?
Director’s a newcomer and the co-screenwriter did Bad Company (the Chris Rock/Anthony Hopkins one) which bodes well for the we-hope-it’ll-be-so-bad-it’s-good Bangkok Dangerous, which he also wrote, but not so well for this.
by Dave Thomas The Wackness
Just to be original, I’d try to tell you that there’s something more interesting happening this month than The Dark Knight, but that would be a lie. JULY 4 HANCOCK WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Alcoholic superhero gets PR makeover. WILL IT SUCK?
Dude, how awesome would it be if this turned out to be a Herbie Hancock bio-pic with Will Smith in the lead, and all this superhero stuff was just a scam?
I think the mock-superhero genre is played out (the death knell was My Super Ex-Girlfriend). The only thing that gives me hope here is the combo of underrated helmer Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights, The Kingdom) and X-Files vet writer Vince Gilligan and Vincent Ngo, who wrote a couple of those kick-ass BMW shorts back in the day.
Early buzz is mixed with audiences taking a shine while critics bring up the specter of Last Action Hero. HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Will Smith with July 4th weekend all to himself? I don’t care if the marketing campaign can’t make up it’s mind as to what kind of movie this is, he’ll pwn that shit. $192mil.
————————————- THE WACKNESS WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Kid grows up in New York dealing dope to his therapist while dating the therapist’s daughter. WILL IT SUCK?
It’s not the second coming of Rushmore or anything, but it’s a good, hip, indie coming-of-age flick. More here. HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Been building good buzz since Sundance. $10mil.
————————————- GONZO: THE LIFE AND WORK OF DR. HUNTER S. THOMPSON WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Doc about the life and work of that weird-looking muppet. No, wait. WILL IT SUCK?
Finally, a summer movie we want to see is about to be released at Cinema Village on Wednesday, June 25th. Appropriately, it’s called Full Grown Men, channeling our angst at the ten million *retarded* superhero movies released every year for the 11-year-old boy demographic. Full Grown Men features Amy Sedaris (worth the price of admission right there) and Debbie Harry as a mermaid. The trailer looks solid too: [hat tip Buzzfeed]
by Dave Thomas Angelina Jolie in Wanted
It’s a race to see who can lower expectations the fastest this month, with M. Night, Mike Meyers, a post-Evan Almighty Steve Carell and a post-Hulk Hulk all offering their wares, often at the same time. JUNE 6 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN WHAT’S THE PITCH?
You got your Apatow in my Sandler! You got your Sandler in my Apatow! WILL IT SUCK?
Basically this is a contest between the general suckiness of most Adam Sandler movies (represented here by I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry helmer Dennis Dugan) and the general goodness of Judd Apatow’s writing efforts (Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin).
With Robert “TV Funhouse” Smigel and Sandler (who rarely writes his suckfests) co-writing, I’d like to think that the odds are in Apatow’s favor, but given Sandler’s horrendous track record, I just can’t muster the faith. HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
With Dewey Cox and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the box office honeymoon with all things Apatow may be waning, but Sandler’s had nary a revenue misstep when he’s stuck to comedy. $111mil.
——————————– KUNG FU PANDA WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Panda learns kung fu. The title’s pretty accurate. WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. The kung fu itself is supposed to be pretty kick-ass. Seemed to get a better reception at Cannes than Indiana Jones.
