We have absolutely no idea what to make of this trailer, but we’ll see anything starring Zach Galifianakis as George Washington or Nathaniel Buckner.

These two videos are completely unrelated, save for the fact that they’re both hilarious and deeply disturbing.
We’re totally going to see this just-released film Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, via Buzzfeed

Of course, the movie would have been better if some of those zombie chickens were unleashed on O’Reilly. [via HuffPost]. UPDATE: Youtube pulled the clip. You can watch it here.

Jose Saramago’s book “Blindness” is one of our favorites in recent memory. We’re excited to hear there’s going to be a movie:

When a sudden plague of blindness devastates a city, a small group of the afflicted band together to triumphantly overcome the horrific conditions of their imposed quarantine. BLINDNESS, starring Academy Award-nominee Julianne Moore, Gael Garcia Bernal, Mark Ruffalo, Sandra Oh and Danny Glover, is a psychological thriller about the fragility of mankind. Adapted from Nobel Laureate Jose Saramago’s masterwork, the film is directed by Academy Award-nominee Fernando Meirelles (‚”City of God”) from a screenplay by Tony Award-winner Don McKellar (‚”The Drowsy Chaperone”).

It’s slotted for release this Fall. Check out the new Blindness trailer here.
In other movie news, we’re also excited about HBO’s “Recount,” which premieres this month. Despite her lack of boobage, we can’t imagine better casting than Laura Dern for the role of Katherine Harris. Watch the trailer after the jump.

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We just posted the full schedule at McCarrenPark.com.

by Dave Thomas

Last May, three potentially great blockbusters came along and broke our hearts. This month four movies with the same potential (well, maybe not Speed Racer) are in play. Are we ready to love again?
MAY 2
MADE OF HONOR
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
My Best Female Friend’s Wedding
WILL IT SUCK?
Hey, I’m as big a Michelle Monaghan fan as the next guy, but even I have my limits. From the director of such classic sequels as City Slickers II and Leonard Part 6. Two of the writers did Surviving Christmas and The Flinstones in Viva Rock Vegas but, to be fair, they also did Can’t Hardly Wait and the underrated Josie and the Pussycats. Early buzz not good.
By the way, is this not the goofiest film promotion of late? I mean, who wouldn’t want to get married at a movie premiere?
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Counterprogramming only works if your movie doesn’t suck balls. Just ask License to Wed. $44mil.
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IRON MAN
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
He is Iron Man. Duh-de-duh-de-duh-duh. Vote for him.

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by Dave Thomas

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
Oftentimes, April is the East River of months, a dumping ground for corpses of films that are already dead but just don’t know it yet. Fortunately, there only seem to be a few of those this year.
April 4
LEATHERHEADS
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Old-timey football romcom.
WILL IT SUCK?
I’ve zero interest in football movies, but I know what happens when George Clooney directs. He could make a Larry the Cable Guy film and I’d go see it.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Ironically, George Clooney does not do well in romantic comedies. $36mil.
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SHINE A LIGHT
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Scorcese finds a way to fit in the 5 Rolling Stones songs he hasn’t put in one of his films yet by making a concert movie.

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We’re willing to cut Harmony Korine some slack for the unwatchable Julien Donkey-Boy and for being a total fucking dick. He did direct Gummo after all. His latest, Mr Lonely, actually looks pretty interesting. From the IFC website

Only Harmony Korine (writer of KIDS, auteur of GUMMO, JULIEN DONKEY-BOY) could weave Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, her daughter Shirley Temple and flying nuns into a hypnotically funny and truly poignant tale of the instability behind fanaticism and the redemption we can hope to find in one another. The film follows a lonely Michael Jackson impersonator (Diego Luna) who is invited by a beautiful Marilyn Monroe (Samantha Morton) to a commune full of other impersonators including the Queen of England, Madonna, Sammy Davis Junior and James Dean, in the Scottish Highlands. In a parallel story line, the incomparable Werner Herzog plays a Latin American priest who learns his missionary of nuns can literally fly.

by Dave Thomas

Nick Stahl and Charlize Theron in Sleepwalking
After last March gave us 300 and Zodiac, this year’s take on the month feels like kind of a let-down.
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March 7
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CJ7
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Stephen Chow’s E.T.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed. I think people were expecting more from the writer/director/star of Kung Fu Hustle.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Needs more aggressive marketing. I loved Kung Fu Hustle and I had no idea this was coming out. $3mil.
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COLLEGE ROAD TRIP
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Martin Lawrence Vehicle
WILL IT SUCK?
Didn’t we just get over a Martin Lawrence film? From the director of Cruel Intentions (the cream of his crop) and writers behind Bubble Boy and Santa Clause 2. Looks to be this year’s RV.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Probably no better or worse than that last Lawrence outing. $31mil.
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10,000 B.C.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Remember that movie Caveman with Ringo Starr? Okay, what if we were asked to take that seriously?

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