Tired of giggling about South Carolina governor Mark Sanford’s dalliance in Buenos Aires but still hungry for more political slapstick? Well look no further than the Times’ latest attempt to ascertain what exactly our esteemed doucheba…er…state senators have been up to of late. In short, since one of the two Democrats who defected to the Republican side of the aisle returned to the fold, the two parties have been tied at 31 members each, both claiming leadership, forcing Governor Paterson to call a mandatory special sessions in order hold votes on gay marriage and, oh, every other issue needed to run New York. The parties “feuding junior high schoolers refusing to acknowledge each other, began holding separate legislative sessions at the same time,” complete with dueling gavels. Here are some zingers from what must be the funniest vaudeville act in Albany:
“Democrats gaveled the session to order at 3:02 p.m. After a few short speeches in which they said the governor’s proclamation for a so-called extraordinary session had constitutional and legal problems, they adjourned at 3:07 p.m. ‘Our members will be going home,’ said Malcolm A. Smith, one of the leaders of the Senate Democratic conference.”
“[State Supreme Court] Justice McNamara..continued to implore the sides to resolve their dispute on their own. ‘This has to be resolved by you, no matter what I do or don’t do on Friday,” he told the sides in court, adding: ‘I guess I’m talking like a human being, but I don’t understand what’s going on. You guys have to resolve this.’”
“Senator Dale M. Volker, 68, a Republican from the Buffalo area who is a former police officer, joked while he was riding up an elevator, ‘I might have to start carrying my sidearm again.’”
“‘This is turning into the worst reality TV show ever: ‘I’m a Senator, Get Me Out of Here,’ said Thomas R. Suozzi, Nassau County executive and former Democratic candidate for governor. ‘Jon and Kate are fighting less than these guys.’”
Photo of turncoat Pedro Espada Jr., now a Republican, care of Village Voice