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Oh, young Kate Ahlborn. Urban adventurer extraordinnaire, fan of Feist’s ‚”1234″ and Vanity Fair writer who in all her post-graduate life has yet to venture beyond the pearly gates of the Upper East Side. Well, she made it over here recently wearing her “tweed J. Crew jacket and Tory Burch ballet flats,” and after “narrowly escaping death by skateboard on the Bedford subway platform” she caught up with choreographer No√©mie Lafrance’s new show (Times review, show information) where she had her face touched by a naked crazy person. She then took off running, never stopping once to breathe or look back at all the evil people in “hipsterville” chasing her back home. Imagine her surprise. She’d heard from her ” more global friends” (WTF!) “that Brooklyn is a charming borough,” but instead found her trip to exotic Brooklyn traumatizing. She’ll never come back.
I left the rickety building slightly shaken up and eager to get back to Manhattan. After this experience, I’m fairly certain that’s exactly where I belong.
Below the jump, we’ve got video of the terrible experience she witnessed. Warning: art. You’ve got a few more days to check it out too. The show runs through the 12th, although “there may be an extension on April 15-19.”