Sex in the Sub-City
Party Like a Protester

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I never read the New York Press, so help me out here, because the other day I did and it seemed very Pro-Bush. Then I read the movie reviews, and the writer said that Steven Spielberg was the greatest director in the world. What? Are they so desperate to differentiate themselves from The Voice that they're going mainstream? Or have they always been this way? I picked it up because lately the paper looks great, you know, the ads are off the front page, the design is slicker, etc. But not again. It's like an alternative New York Post.

And the Post, by the way, which was rated New York's worst newspaper by Freewilliamsburg readers, is just shit sandwiched between pieces of paper. It's so biased it's almost funny. The Post is the newspaper version of Fox News, both of which are owned by Rupert Murdoch, perhaps the most evil man on the planet (next to Dick Cheney). He also owns The Times of London, Twentieth Century Fox, 35 American TV stations, 175 newspapers and satellites that deliver programs to five continents. That's fucking scary, isn't it? It's also a complete hypocrisy: Imagine if George Soros or some other rich progressive had such a media empire. The conservatives would be going apeshit.

So you know, of course, how these outlets are going to cover the republican convention. And I doubt CNN or MSNBC will be much better. No mention anywhere of the dissent, the protesters, the traffic nightmare, the scripted, moderate speeches to mask their extreme agenda. It's going to be a total whitewash. Sure, there will be some decent stuff in the Voice, and probably a handful of okay pieces in The New York Times, The LA Times and The Washington Post. But not much. Protesters are never given a fair shake, which is bizarre, because the entire history of our country (if not the world) is based on protest. People standing up for what they believe in, voicing their opinion, enacting change through sheer numbers filling the streets and refusing to follow orders - it's pretty powerful stuff.

So when the republicans get here in a few weeks, I strongly urge you not to run for the hills or the Hamptons, but to stand your ground and show them what you think of them. You don't have to spend every second sandwiched between police barricades screaming and waving banners, but you can participate in organized demonstrations, attend pro-Kerry benefits, or simply take matters into your own hands. If you're in midtown and see large groups of wide-eyed, slightly-fearful out-of-towners in suits, khakis or golf-attire, welcome them to our city. Give them an old-school New York welcome and shake their hands while pocketing their wallets; send them to the Bronx when they ask how to get to Madame Tussaud's; go all crazy homeless person on them and start babbling in their faces and rubbing up against them inappropriately; or tell them about this great bridge you have to sell them.

And when you finish with them, take some time out and celebrate. There are some amazing events going on during the convention, one of which I urge you to attend. On Wednesday, September 1st, there is a massive, free party for the protesters at Siberia (356 West 40th St. at Ninth Ave.). It starts at 7 p.m. and goes until 4 in the morning. The party is being organized by Lick Bush Ltd., with help from Music For America, Counterconvention.org, Bands against Bush and, I believe, Billionaires for Bush. On hand will be special guest speakers, voter and protest info and lots of surprises. The band lineup includes Shoplifting (Seattle), The Sundresses (Cincinnati) and Shellshag (San Francisco), as well as local favorites Kid Casanova, The Bamboo Kids, Shellshocked, Pretty Flowers, and Blowback. For more information, write RNCProtestParty@yahoo.com.

If you are planning to protest, or know of any people who are, please let them know about it. Thousands of folks from around the country/world will be in town to confront the republicans, to express their intense displeasure with Bush and co., and the party is a big thank you to them. It's not much, but it's something. The real way to thank them, and, in fact, to thank anyone who is working to elect Kerry and defeat Bush, is to simply vote. And, God forbid they manage to steal the election again, either with the untested touchscreens or by purging minorities from the voter rolls, or by postponing it altogether with some bogus terrorist attack, we will not lay down like we did in 2000. The momentum we have now will not go away. If they fuck with us again the resistance will be fierce. In some ways, I even welcome it. America needs a wakeup call, an out-and-out brawl to shake us up and get us back on course, and maybe this will be it.

And when it's all over, when the dust has settled and a need arises to document the new entity, whatever it looks like, I'm hoping Spielberg, the greatest director in the world, can make a fucking movie out of it. Tom Hanks, who's good at playing retards, will make a perfect Bush.

--Russ Josephs

E-mail: Filthstar@aol.com